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How would you feel if this happened to you?

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Author Message rhiannon r Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 10:59 am    Post subject: How would you feel if this happened to you? My family is big on family events. Like my aunts always complain if one family is not there for their event (ex. showers, weddings, baby showers...etc) the thing is I attained every stupid funciton they had and now its my turn to get married and have a shower and now none of them want to come to my shower. I feel like I did something wrong. I went to everything they had and got nice gifts for them or brought something for the occasion they were celebrating. I know I am wining about it but I just feel like they owe me for going to their things. I don't care if they buy me something...I don't care...i just want them there for how i was there for them. Thats all. It wouldnt matter to me if it was a something silly like a just because party, it bothers me because its my wedding shower and my godmother aunt will not attain and for something religious you would think she would be there because missed out on my commiuion and such. i attained their things, i just want to attain mine. Back to top Sara007 Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:03 am    Post subject: ok. Back to top Mari Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:03 am    Post subject: Tell them how you feel hun maybe it's money issues or transportation and they dont want to botehr you. Tell them the most important thing for you right now is that they join you in this special event. Back to top butterfly girl Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:03 am    Post subject: tell them how you feel Back to top princessannie122 Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:04 am    Post subject: Did they tell you why they will not attend? Do they not like your fiance? I would explain to them how you feel. Let them know it hurts your feelings that they are not supportive of your wedding and you have been very supportive of them. Back to top future mrs. silac Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:05 am    Post subject: It's amamzing how people are so petty when things don't revolve around them. (Your aunt) Ignore her childish gestures and be happy with the people who do show up. However, i wouldn NEVER attend another one of her functions. Back to top bestadvicechick Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:05 am    Post subject: Attain? I think you mean ATTEND. Anyway, yes I would be very hurt also. But you can't MAKE her attend your wedding shower. I just would make a point to not attend anymore of HER functions!! See how she likes it! Back to top rcButterfly Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:06 am    Post subject: I understand how you can feel hurt because of this but the last thing you want to do is surround yourself with people who don't want to be there. Don't worry about whose in attendance and enjoy your shower. Back to top unionjackess Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:06 am    Post subject: The word is ATTEND- So she isn't coming- so what? show some grace- tell her she will be missed and go have a good time. Why did you keep score on home many functions you attended? Stop being a baby, act like a grown woman whose about to get married. End of story- Back to top tan_yuh4112 Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:06 am    Post subject: It's their loss, sweetie. Show them that they aren't getting to you. If they won't come, forget them. I know what it's like to have family leave you high and dry, and it's the worst feeling ever. Try to not let it get to you. You're getting married! Be happy! Back to top Luv2Answer Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:09 am    Post subject: Stop attending their events. It has obviously been a waste of time. Back to top lds2469 Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:10 am    Post subject: i feel bad for you,they should come and have you shared this with her?if so that is all you can do.try not to let it bother you if it doesn't happen because the only one that needs to be there is your future husband.you and him are going to start your own family and life on that day regardless of who is a witness Back to top CHos3n Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:24 am    Post subject: At a recent wedding not only did the bride and groom respond to questions of do you intend to honor this person...but the gathered people who were there to witness the event answered the question of will you honor this couple, support and encourage them. Will you, the congregation love, honor and support this couple? Your "family members" have already answered this loud and clear with a resounding NO we won't! So, as many before me have said, you don't want them there. The people you want, the one's you thought you knew, the ones whose events you attended--they don't exist --except in your mind. That's a painful realization to come to. However, it's a healthy one. Grab hold of it and come to grips with it now, before they hurt you anymore. Once you open your eyes to see them as they really are, and let go of the childhood expectations that they cannot fulfill, you will be a happy, joyous bride who has grieved over the loss of childhood dreams and is willingly facing adulthood with the love of her life at her side. Embrace your new family and let the old one go. It never really was what you thought. Back to top gileswench Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:25 am    Post subject: Like you, I would feel very hurt if my family refused to show me support at a time like this. It really sounds, though, as if this is an ongoing pattern: you're there for them, but they aren't around when you have a triumph or need a hand.So have a good cry, but then you need to move on. Rely on those who are there for you, and don't bother being there anymore for those who have shown you again and again that you are not a priority to them.As hard as it is to understand or accept, you cannot force people to care about you, even if they ought to. All you can do is decide how you are going to handle things now that you know where you (don't) fit in their lives. The best thing you can do is concentrate on your upcoming marriage and the friends who have shown themselves willing to stand at your side.Best of luck to you. I wish you peace and happiness. Back to top Babygurl Yahoo User Posted: Fri Aug 17, 2007 11:27 am    Post subject: you are right. They should be there for you. I would be upset too. Just take it as a lesson learned. Back to top

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