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christyanne
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:05 pm Post subject: What should I bring as a gift to a hurting friend? |
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| This is a family friend who's just found out her husband was having an affair. She overdosed on pills and I'm going to visit her in the hospital. I never dealt with anything like this before. Anyone have any ideas on what I could bring or do or say? Flowers are typical, I know, but might be too cheerful for where she is emotionally right now. |
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Cutie_Boo
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| well depends on how old she is...Chocolates? Stuffed animal...Balloons. flowers...Or just you would probably be enough =] |
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MC85
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| You know flowers are always a good gift to bring to a friend that is in need, but a good book is also! Something inspiring and that lift her spirits if she is religious a book of guidance or something....Or a book of quotes or something is a good book also. |
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fancy4not
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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| as much a flowers are typical that would be something nice to bring her. live flowers bring brightness and life in to any situation.you could also bring her a card or just go and let her know that you are there for her no matter what the circumstances.just talk to her or listen to her talk..good luck |
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Summer B
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Just listen to her, get her to talk to you. She needs a shoulder to cry on and someone to tell her that she is a worthwhile person and that life is worth living. |
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Mrs Jackson - West
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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| right now, what she needs more than anything is a friend. My best friend was in the same situation almost two years ago and it hurt like hell to see her like that (laid up in some hospital over a man). but all she really needed was someone to be there, to listen, to lend a shoulder, and to not judge.so getting her a gift to show that she's on your mind & in your heart is nice, but giving your time to help her get thru this and move forward will mean so much more. trust me. |
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◄ The Wižard ►
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Just being a friend she can open herself up to and pour her heart out to will be the greatest thing you can do for her. Friends that are there for you when you need them, are true friends and nothing you could take to her would top that. Its great that you are there for her. I wish the best for your friend. We all know how hard a heartbreak is when you love someone and for her to have gone to such drastic extremes it must have been especially devestating to her. Goodluck in helping and being there for your friend. |
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suscarsct
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Just take yourself, don't ask questions, just let her spill her guts and do not put him down or tell her she is being silly. She needs a shoulder, not flowers. Right now she is feeling worthless and his cheating means she did something wrong. Its just men think with their penis' It probably meant nothing to him. Just another conquest. How boring for men! If he would just take himself in hand he could still have a wife and family. |
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FLIT
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Offer her your undevided attention and your shoulder. She will appreciate that more than any material gift you could get her. Just be there for her... |
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joyhamil44
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2007 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Just offer her your time. Sit, listen, support her. Don't judge her or even her husband right now. Let her know that you will be there for her no matter what decision she makes regarding her husband. Let her rant and rave and repeat herself over and over. It's a terrible emotional trauma to find out the person you loved and trusted the most betrayed you. It can be like Post traumatic stress syndrome for many. A gift? How about some perfume. Something to make HER feel nicer in that hospital setting. Then, pick her up a book to help her understand what she is going through once she is home. Look for "Not Just Friends" by S.Glass. She will need lots of support. Following are some resources you can offer her. Some of the support forums can be really helpful for her. Being able to speak with others who understand what she is going through can be helpful. ResourcesA few good books: "Not Just Friends" by S. Glass “Surviving an affair” by Dr. W. Harley“After the Affair” by SpringsA yahoo group that has many helpful articles and links in FILES. Not a good support board, not very active. But, loads of stuff in files. Simple to join. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/ A few other helpful sites: http://www.dearpeggy.com/ http://marriagebuilders.com/ http://betrayedspouse101.tripod.com/ http://www.beyondaffairs.com/ http://peterfox.com.au/index.html A few good support forums for those dealing with infidelity. Lots of helpful people who have been through this trauma. http://www.lifesaviors.com/SI/http://survivinginfidelity.com/An ebook written for the wayward spouse to help them understand what they need to do to rebuild from the damage they created: http://www.aftertheaffair.net/ |
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