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Kai
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:57 pm Post subject: Christmas Gift-Giving: How far into the social circle do you go? |
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| In high school, I met a person who became one of my best friends; soon she introduced me to her close circle of acquaintances, and they've become a group I often run with while in I'm town. The problem is, up until this Christmas, I've never had a problem just purchasing a gift for the original friend and not the others -- we only see each other unless our mutual friend is there, and I live in a different town now due to pursuing a higher education. However, I do talk to many of the other people online frequently.Is it appropriate to not purchase Christmas gifts for these other people? There are about five of them, and if I bought a gift for one I'd have to purchase for them all... One of them is an ex-boyfriend that I went out with for two weeks, was cheated upon, and dropped (I wasn't very emotionally involved anyway). It would feel awkward giving him a gift as well.What is socially acceptable, where do you draw the line? |
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Jennalove311
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:03 pm Post subject: |
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| That is kind of tough, because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Here's what my friends all do for the holidays- Secret Santa. Then have a lunch or dinner get-together and everyone picks a random gift and go from there! It's the easiest way to not feel obligated to buy for all. |
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Jasmine
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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| If they were your online friends only, then they aren't that important to talk to as often in real life. It's fine if you don't buy them one because you don't have to. But if they buy you one, then New Years is just 6 days after Christmas, so you can buy them a present for New Years. |
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england562
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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| You need not purchase a gift for all the people, or even the on who has been your friend the longest. If you feel that you need to give something to everyone in the group, bake cookies, its always a treat to receive home made cookies. If you are going to purchase a gift and want to keep the expense reasonable as a lot of my friends and I have done over the years, buy a Christmas ornament. It will make them think of you each year as they hang it on the tree. As for the guy -- if he is still a friend in the group -- just get him the same thing (since you weren't emotionally involved) as you get the others, cookies, ornament or nothing. Remember Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, not a shopping event. Enjoy your friends. |
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muppetkiller_2000
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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| You could tackle this issue by suggesting a "Secret Santa" type exchange. Everyone from the group puts a name in a hat and draws one name. Then it's only one gift.Otherwise, purchase a modest gift for the people you like best and consider close friends. That would come from your heart, just don't expect anything back.Ask your friends how they have handled gifts in the past. Maybe they don't exchange gifts. I would never give an ex a gift, unless he was a close friend and didn't expect anything afterwards. |
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Cindy H
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:09 pm Post subject: |
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With Children, if you buy for one, you buy for all. For adults, you buy for whomever you choose. That's why God made Christmas cards. :)Think of it this way, are they going to get you a gift? Probably not and by getting them something, your putting them on the spot. Send them an e-greet or even a regular card. They will probably thank you for it. If one of them buys something for you - you should probably get them something in return. But not for all of them - or you'll open a big can of worms.When I was younger, I had an aunt who would call everyone before hand and say "Let's not exchange gifts for the adults". We'd agree and she'd show up with gifts for everyone. And we would have to leave the get together and get gifts for everyone or give gifts we'd bought for other people. Believe me, she was hated.And you never have to get a gift for someone who cheated on you. There is a certian level of rudness which entitles you to be rude in return - I think that's it.  |
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Rosie25
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Go with your gut. If it was me, I would definitely buy gifts for close friends who are actively in my life, but if these other people are just "going out" friends, I wouldn't think they'd even expect anything! And since you talk to these people online, maybe you could send a cute holiday e-card to them, to acknowledge them in some way. |
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us.littlefairy
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Give to your immediate friends but try to give the gifts out privately. |
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sassylilb68
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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| There's friends forever and then there's friends, u have to desifer were the line is. I say a card for is acceptable for your on line friends. I feel it is tottally fine to give ur real friend a gift in front of the world n feel no guilt. If someone just exspects a gift they are just greedy. |
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L.K.
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I would give your first friend a gift. The others I would mail or give them a card. Your ex don't get him any thing. You can pick up a box of 25 cards for a dollar some times at Wallmart, Dollar General, places like that. I try to mail mine out right after Thanksgiving. So they have a chance to mail some back to me.Or you could, if they live close, invite them all over and do some thing either dinner, a pot luck, watch movies and eat popcorn, etc. |
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zdude_4u
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2007 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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| You are under no obligation to purchase any gifts other than your close friend. However, for them not to feel excluded, you could invited them for dinner in your home as a holiday get together. When I say holiday get together, it means between Christmas and New Years. |
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berry
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 2:52 am Post subject: |
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| To avoid being sucked into it, don't give them gifts unless they do give you one. It's best not to "start" it. Therefore be prepared with some non personal gifts such as small boxes of chocolates or small candles so as not to be caught without a gift for those who wants to gift to you. |
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