It's a very long story, I'm too involved now, what can I do? Who does she love?

adrian · Yahoo User

I started going to this church group last year. On July 4 2007 I started hanging out with this girl from the group. On August 13 2007 (I have really good memory), I told her that I think I’m falling for you because I felt completely different last night after walking you home after watching Rush Hour 3. She was shocked, I didn’t know what to do since I was new to all this. A week later I called her up and I tell her we need to talk, I was drunk and crying. I told her everything about me. That I’ve never been with a girl, had 2 encounters in the past where I had the opportunity to have sex, but I didn’t because I want to save myself for marriage. I come to learn more about her, that her father died on her sweet 16 birthday, and that her first love left her and she got pregnant. Now she has a 2 year old boy. She told me she was already interested in someone. I respected her decision, and we quickly became best friends. After 2 months I didn’t see her with anyone yet and was still attracted to her so I asked her out again, but she told me that she was already dating someone and that someone was from the church group too. It hurt me that she would not have told me sooner. It hurt me to see them together, I was unstable for 3 weeks. I finally came to accept reality that they were together. Sometime around November she tells me that she was having doubts about her boyfriend. When she told me she was having doubts about him, I told her over the phone how I truly felt about her, I said something like “I love you, I know it’s real because I feel something burning inside when I’m with you, that’s why it hurts so much when I see you with him, your boyfriend is just an obstacle that I have to get through, I’m not going to give up on you just like Jack didn’t give up on Rose (from Titanic, her favorite movie of all time), I’m going to use everything I know”, that’s when I first heard her crying for the first time, so something was seriously wrong. I started doing a lot of things for her, taking her to and picking her up from school. Talking with her a lot over the phone, doing all the things that her boyfriend wasn’t doing, and getting close to her son to get her trust. On December 2 2007 on a Sunday, it snowed and they got into a huge argument, and they broke up. I knew this was my opportunity to ask her what happened. On December 3 2007 I took the day off work as an emergency, she told me that she loves him, but he never said it back, that she didn’t expect that from him, he promised her that he would never hurt her. But he ended up hurting her because they had sexual relations, and he would only start being nice only when he would want the sex. Once I found out I told her that if you go back to him, I’m going to be real disappointed and you won’t see me. I also asked her to stand in front of me and close your eyes, when she did, I asked her to open them. I had to tell her several times until she opened them and I just gave her a rose. That’s when she broke down in tears on my chest and I told her “I knew what was on your mind, you thought that I was going to kiss you, but I can’t do anything you don’t want me to”. December 4, she calls me up and tells me that they are back together, so I tell her don’t call me anymore, I told her that she can keep my movies, maybe you can learn something from them just like I did. I let her keep “American Beauty”, “The Notebook” and “Braveheart”, I was full with anger. Before I departed for Mexico on vacation on December 17 2007, I gave her Christmas present like I promised after she asked me a few weeks ago if I was going to give it to her even if I was angry at her. I gave her an 8GB iPod Nano and filled it up with her type of music and some of my rock music, she said it’s the most expensive gift she has ever gotten. When I came back on December 27, she called me to tell me that she was thinking of me the whole time I was in Mexico, and I told her the same. She compared me to Jack from Titanic and that it’s like I got magic. On New Year’s I ditched my family party because she invited me to her family party and I went. On my birthday January 9 2008 I spent most of my day with her. She once told me to stop using her kid to get to her. I gave her another rose and told her that when I give you the third rose, then I’m really leaving, you won’t hear from me again. She said she does not want me to give her the third rose. And now just on January 29 I told her “these last few weeks I’ve been trying to get on your mind, I’ve done that, now I have to get in your heart but I’m not sure if I’m there yet, and you probably wont tell me”. We just continued talking, her kid needed something, when she came back I was on the couch sitting and she jumped on me, and she just hugged me and she kissed me, not just a little peck, tongue and everything. She told me “You got me, I love you”. I cancelled my plans with my cousin because she wanted me to go to the Manhattan Mall and Times Square with her holding hands the whole time. And just yesterday she asked me “how do you know it’s real?”, she said I still have a lot to learn. She asked me, how do you know it’s real? How does she know who she loves?I’ve told her “I love you” hundreds of times, I can understand that she doesn’t want me to leave because of her unstable life, I’m probably the best person to come into her life. She probably doesn’t want to break it off with the other guy because they are both leaders of the church group we are in, and it would look bad on her, she’s worried about gossip and reputation. She knows the real guy that I am. I stopped old habits of drinking and smoking for her, I learned how to dance for her because she loves to dance, she took the fear of not being myself around other people, she knows everything about me, that I was in the marines, I am not afraid to say that I'm a virgin, that I'm saving myself till marriage. I know most guys will say I'm a loser and I don't care. And she knows this. She said that I’m the one that is hard to find. I’ve told her that I would treat her son like he’s my son. I’ve heard “there’s plenty of fish on the sea” thing, but I feel she’s not a fish, she’s the mermaid I’ve been looking for.