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How can I get my hubby to appreciate me more?

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erika r
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:07 pm Post subject: How can I get my hubby to appreciate me more?

He has gotten me one birthday cake in 10 years (I do something for him every year) and he never remembers our anniversary or even Valentine's Day. I don't ask for much, just to feel loved an appreciated sometimes. He says he loves me, and I dont want big gifts, just a little something to show me he cares. I'd take a flower picked along the road.....And for everyones questions in their answers.... believe me, I have tried everything. Oh, and I dont go crazy shopping or spend too much money. I buy what the kids need (we have 2 grade schoolers) and groceries. He is the one who always has to have new trucks and gadgets to show off. I'm having a baby in 3 months and dont even have a crib for it yet because all our money goes to bills and car payments. And, yes, I still work.

Mickey V
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:10 pm Post subject:

Install a stripper pole in the living room and get some practice in.

Liz
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:10 pm Post subject:

Stop remembering his birthdays and other special days.

Queen of Beer
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:10 pm Post subject:

Stop cleaning the house and doing his laundry, maybe then he will appreciate all you do for him. Good luck!

abc
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject:

when your birthday comes this year ..... call a local florist and order yourself the biggest bouquet of flowers and have them delivered.....make sure the note says, "from one of your admirers".........then do the same on Valentine's day.......

Tamiri
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject:

If you figure this one out.... then you've got to share it the women of the world.... we all want to know.

Mrs. Fountain
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject:

You shouldn't have to "get" him to do anything... he should want to. It seems that you are all in and he isn't and that is not a good thing. My parents have been married for a very, very long time and my dad has NEVER forgotten a special day... I think that he also needs to reevaluate his commitment to you and your marriage. Good luck.

mizzhollywood26
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:16 pm Post subject:

He should already appreciate you.

Simple_Man
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:16 pm Post subject:

He's lost his motivation to treat you like that. I'm sure he still loves you, but something is being lost.I suggest you get to the bottom of whatever is in the way and soon. I'm willing to bet that underlying resentments towards you and something(s) you have done are making him drift away. Show him you love and NEED him.

Happy-2
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:19 pm Post subject:

An important distinction to make here is that your question is inaccurate, and you would be wise to recognize this. You are not asking how to get your husband to appreciate you more -- what your details reveal is that you are asking how to get your husband to express his appreciation more. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing that lack of expression necessarily means lack of feeling the sentiment!

dpn
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:23 pm Post subject:

Did he do all of that when you were dating? Some people are just the way they are and they never change. Every year I bake my husband a cake and get him gifts. Every year I get a card and a bottle of wine. This is the man I married. I think women expect too much sometimes - maybe you got married quickly and didn't know how he handled things - I dated my husband for 5 years and knew hi MO. Sure you would take a flower picked along the road, but that is not what he does.Does he do anything special for you at all? Take one week and tell him you appreciate him, and don't argue with him or ask for anything - try it out. Men are pretty simple - usually if you are nice to them, they start giving. I actually started doing this and you would not believe the change.

creeese
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:25 pm Post subject:

You need to ask him if he really loves you.

4everFaithful
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject:

That's perhaps the biggest complaint for most women...feeling unappreciated. I feel your pains.We've been married for 10 yrs & I've just recently learned the key (tho I need to constantly remind myself of it). The thing I've learned is to do what I do out of the unconditional love I have towards my spouse & our family....Do what I do for GOD & myself and not necessarily for the recognition or appreciation of others. I "treat" myself to the things I would like my husband to do for me...Not abusing my ability to do so. But since what we have is "What WE Have" it's the same in my mind as it would be had he done it for me....Yet, when he actually takes the initiative to do such things, I go out the way to show him how much I appreciate whatever it was & his effort.Don't divide things up between you...Quit looking at what you do vs what he does. His mind is probably saying that you've got everything "roof, gas, running cars, food, etc." not realizing that you want him to do more. May I recommend that you read "the 5 Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. Perhaps you & he could read it together.

Cookie721
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:43 pm Post subject:

that's sad. maybe you can look at other ways he shows you his love. it's obvious that the both of you have different love languages. if you want it to work you need to find out what each others love language is. i hope the link below is helpful. he does love you his language is just different from yours. this book has saved many marriages. too bad i found out about it after i got a divorce.

x2000
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri Apr 11, 2008 4:47 pm Post subject:

Well like every good woman does, you sit him in a room, look him in the eye, then scream, "What the **** is wrong you forgetting my birthday/anniv/etc...!?" Then breakdown and cry. If that doesn't work, then you are in trouble.

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