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This is for the ladies,would any of you feel bothered by this too?


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Preggers with #1
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:22 pm Post subject: This is for the ladies,would any of you feel bothered by this too?

Ok, my husband has guy friends and lady friends and I also have friends of both genders. My husband likes to give gifts to his lady friends for their birthdays. They are relatively inexpensive gifts like gift cards and good bottles of wine. I feel kind of bothered by this eventhough compared to them he treats me like a queen. Should I feel bothered by this or am I being too sensetive? Those of you who automatically suspect the worst of people and think they are cheating need not answer please. My husband is a good man. This is about me. Not him. Thank you.I should add that yes he does involve me in the giving of the gifts to his lady friends. No he does not really give gifts to his guy friends. he feels too weird about it. Yes, they are mutual friends now but some of them are from before we met.

poker_fan_in_nyc
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:26 pm Post subject:

you are being too sensitive...plain and simple...he sounds like a good guyLet me ask you something...the female friends he gives these too...do you know who they are or are you friends with them too...and as for your male friends, do you give them anything on their birthdays (or do they give you)?

nonameblonde
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:28 pm Post subject:

No, don't worry about it. He sounds like a very giving person. That's all. He treats you like a queen. You are obviously the priority. I'm sure if you told him it bothers you, he'd stop. He's a good guy!

SimplyLovely
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:28 pm Post subject:

You have a little jealousy going on. It is natural.

Mandy R
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:29 pm Post subject:

Even tho you trust him totally if it was be I would still be upset about it. When you are married he should buy you gifts and family members.

Cham
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:30 pm Post subject:

I used to be like you not anymore though..be glad he is not buying the expensive gifts and so on...he loves you

Sounds Painful
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject:

There are five main ways that people express love and affection. They are called the 5 Love Lanuages:1. Quality Time2. Acts of Service3. Gift Giving4. Physical Touch5. Vocal Affirmation.Sounds like your husband is a gift-giver. He tells people that he cares for them by offering gifts. I wouldn't be intimidated by it - it sounds innocent.

Kathy
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject:

i wouldnt know how to answer this as i am young. i would get bothered if he got them expensive gifts. but i dont know what i would do..i just replied to tell you that you are not being to sensitive...

Librawriter
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:33 pm Post subject:

I can understand how you would be jealous, but you say yourself he's a great guy. I personally would have a problem with my husband spending OUR money on anything for another woman (unless his relative), but if your husband does it for the males and females, it doesn't sound like a big deal. He might also be the type of guy who likes to be adored.

sincerely
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:34 pm Post subject:

I don't think I would be bothered by this. It would probably depend and it's a case to case basis. If he's giving gifts to all his lady friends, I would assume that he's just really the gift giving guy and he's generous. He could also be the type of guy who likes to impress the ladies. If he's really close with his lady friends then that's understandable as long as he's not zeroing on a particular friend. Those lady friends you're talking about aren't your common friends? Does he involve you with what he's planning to give them? How is he with his guy friends? Does he give them gifts too? Just wondering.

Over & Out
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:34 pm Post subject:

Depends on presentation... is he flirting (sometimes without knowing?) Is there something about these ladies (single and unattached maybe?) that bothers you? Do YOU feel like something else is going on? if not then nah nothing bad about it... but, if his eye is wondering...maybe you should reawaken his attenntion before it does get as bad as cheating...Just ask him what he feels about the gifts in a non-accusatory manner It's only a red flag if says something like "I really want them to feel special " or other too personal lines...If you don't want to do that start saying that you're going to give personal gifts to your guy friends...maybe ones he might be jealous of? If he says he doesn't want you to do that CALMLY ask him why, listen to his reason and then explain how you feel about the gifts he gives the ladies...Hope this helps...

someoneelse
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:36 pm Post subject:

i wouldnt like it either but thats because i wouldnt want him to do it, but i see nothing wrong with him doing it....i would want to send gifts to my friends for there b-days

smudgethezombie
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject:

The only thing that would bug me is that he doesn't also buy gifts for his male friends. I'm reminded of the foot rub scene in Pulp Fiction - you can say it isn't sexual, but if you'd do it for a woman and not for a man it probably is.Other than that... I buy gifts for my friends too, so that in itself wouldn't bother me. It's really just the gender issue.

NiCoLeBbY22
Yahoo User

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:03 pm Post subject:

i think your being a little too sensitive and thats ok....just dont let it turn into a huge jealousy thing which it doesn't sound like it will...i think as long as you guys do it together and he includes you in the gift giving there is no problem...but sometimes we just can't help the way we feel

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