| Author |
Message |
True Enough
Yahoo User
|
 Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:04 am Post subject: Is it okay to accept gifts from another guy? |
 |
|
| Not just some random guy, but like your boss? My husband does not like that my boss sends me flowers and gift certificates on special occasions. The boss does not even work in the office. He lives in another state and is married! I told him this is standard for a boss/admin relationship, but I think he is insecure about it.Yes - the gifts are only for admin day or after large projects. |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
♥Curly♥
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
|
|
| it is standard he needs to understand that |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Kris G
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:09 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Some guys usually have a motive to y they do things. Kinda study him to figure out if there is more. U can accept the gift, but of u think there's more. Give it back. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
kittykat
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| If your hubby isn't comfortable with it then why not tell your boss you appreciate the gesture, but out of respect for your husband and your marriage you'll have to decline them. It makes me wonder why your hubby is so insecure. Their might be a deeper issue going on. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
TEK33
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| If it only you and no one else in the organization gets them, then I suppose he has a right to be suspicious. While you may think nothing of it, your boss MAY have different ideas. If it is a common "thanks for a good job" kind of gift or for administrative assistants day type of thing, then it's no big deal. Not all bosses are jerks, some actually appreciate an employees hard work, but you would know best by his actions if something else was going on. I would hope if you felt that it was, you would stop it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
corgi1922
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It depends on the occasion and the types of gifts. Are the gift certificates enough for you and your husband (if they are for restaurants)? Next time your boss sends you something tell him thank you but he doesn't need to give you anything to acknowledge the occasion. Who do you care more about having feelings hurt? Your boss or your husband? I don't know the background from your boss or how it really looks when you get these things so the context really matters too. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
2gadoo
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: |
|
|
| The flowers would probably bother me a little. But if he does not work directly with you & you two are not going to lunch & dinner together then it would be OK. You should also think about it in your husbands eyes. What if he was coming home with flowers & gifts from some girl at his work? As for it being standard for a boss to do this Ive never seen a boss do this. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
David
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Well it's ok to accept them on a day like administrative assistant day. Or if you have been working extra hard or just finished a big project. But if your boss is just sending you stuff randomly then it's a little weird. Hopefully the flowers are not roses and the items should not be very expensive. You should see about introducing your husband to your boss. Have like a cook out or something. That way your husband can see that he is just your boss and your boss (if he does have any hidden agendas) can see that you are truly happy with your husband. Good luck to you. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Dove
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I receive gifts from my boss as well. It is boss/admin relationship. It shows that your work is appreciated. If he can't understand that than leave the flowers at work and use the certificates when your husband is not around. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Emily
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It is ok as long as he is doing the same thing for everyone else. Like if he sends you flowers on administrative assistant day. It is not strictly standard but it does happen. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
trueeee the Crazy Dominic
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Yes it is a standard boss/admin relationship. Let him know that you aren't the only admin in the world receiving gifts from your boss. And also reassure him that you love him, he's the only one for you, and he has no reason to feel insecure. Then let him be. These are his insecurities that he has to deal with and you don't need to be bothered with it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
jetty kay
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:12 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Yeah he needs to understand that its just a standard relationship. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Nicky
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
| It's standard. Holidays, birthdays, hire anniversaries and admin day are all normal gift giving situations. Flowers and gift certificates are pretty common gifts, not something that you'd necessarily send to impress someone. My guess is that he's blue collar and unsure about normal office workplace interactions and obligations. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
J_Jammer
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I think as long as the gifts are within standard gift giving and not indecent or extravagant with messages that re vulgar then sure the gift is job related or a thank-you for hard work. It's like getting a bonus during Christmas. Would he want you to give money back and say, "No thanks this is flirting." Should you get money for a bonus?I don't think he would.Flowers are not a bad thing to give if you are a guy to a woman that is not your wife or girlfriend. They are a decent gift and a kind gift and it matters what kind of flowers and with what intent, via the card's message perhaps, they are given. Regular wild flowers do not mean the same things as roses. As with most things it is the intent that matters.I think your husband is overreacting but I think you need to assure him that you love him and that your boss isn't someone you would leave him for so he has no need to worry. If it bothers him so much you'll give the gifts away to other people, but tell him that it's rude to do so because it hurts the gift giver's feelings. How would he feel if he gave someone a gift that he really wanted to and then they went and gave it to someone else?He has his own justification for being upset and I think if you calm him down and help him understand that his justification could be right if there was reason to be so, but in this instances it's not correct. You appreciate his protection and love that he is casting to keep you, but the gifts are from appreciation not affection.Hope he understands. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Gun Dream
Yahoo User
|
| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 8:29 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Boss/admin relationship and he sends you flowers? BS, he is interested and you know it. I don't think my SO would be happy with it, nor would I be happy if a female boss was sending him gift certificates and flowers. Especially because the flowers seem so... romantic.......... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
FAQ
Register
Log in
Powered by Yahoo! Answers