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Angie S
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:04 am Post subject: How do I tell my husband to stop chating with strange women in the internet? |
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| We fought so many times about this...he said he stopped going into chat rooms but now he uses his phone to text them...I asked him what was talking about to with them and he didnt want to answer me. He says that I should trust him and that its only friendly chat..Why does he feel the need to chat with women..On one of our fights, he had once promised me that he wouldnt do it in front of me...but yet he sits on that couch typing away..he spends more time with his phone then he does with me...I havent seen flowers, notes, even gifts on special holidays..Everytime I try to talk to him about it, we start to fight he retaliates and talks down to me and tells me I'm not his warden and stop being so paranoid..To be happy around him and he'll treat me the way I want to be treated..At the end, I feel guilty and end up apologizing for being jealous and trying to control him..But why does it still hurt me? What do I do? |
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momof2
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:08 am Post subject: |
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| cancel your internet service. |
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DATshakthiMA
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:08 am Post subject: |
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| HE'S CHEATING ON YOU. kick him out and get a divorce.http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AipV0oruLOOGAspaW7MnDIjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080603091110AAi0KZN |
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Strandedgypsey
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:09 am Post subject: |
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| He shouldn't do it. There is no room or reason for new female friends in a husband's life that his wife isn't friends with first. He's WRONG WRONG WRONG. YOU are right! |
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pinniethewooh
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| Don't feel guilty. He's a jerk and a manipulator. You have to be strong and mean it. But tell him it has to stop or you'll leave. If he doesn't stop then leave him. He will come back. They always do. Then you can have things more on your terms. You should not be made to feel disrespected by your husband. There's no room for fooling around in your marriage. |
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kmanixkk
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| Ask him to go to marriage counseling. He may behaving an affair also. If he refuses tell him that you are considering filing for divorce if he doesn't go. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Mine ended due to a total lack of communication which led my wife (now ex) to a secret affair. Try to stop this behavior now before it is too late. You should not be treated like that. |
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sillygirl
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| He is giving you all of the signs of a cheating spouse.My ex used to tell me I was paranoid and insecure.....then he admitted it....after 2 years of denial and making me feel like I was the crazy one!Love yourself and leave him! |
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Justlookin
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:11 am Post subject: |
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| Hmmmm, well, if there isn't a problem and it's only being friendly and having fun, he won't mind getting you a computer and having you join the chatrooms as a couple. I've seen couples in chatrooms....works nicely. This way you can both "party" with his online friends. If he objects to this, tell him it's the same as him refusing to take you to a real life party...and that he's living single while married. |
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Gjb2323
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:12 am Post subject: |
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| He is emotionally cheating on you right now. This is unacceptable no matter how mad he gets and talks down to you. He will eventually find someone else and leave you if this keeps going on. I would seperate from him immediately and see if he then appreciates you. You are letting this go on, and you need to send him a message. |
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lara 93
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:13 am Post subject: |
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| you don't have to blame yourself. its him that is doing wrong. if i were you i should sit next to him to see what he is saying and if he asks you why tell him that if he is doing nothing wrong then you can sit next to him!tell him too that you wish to learn how to chat with other men so you can see he tells you! and then he may stop this habit. |
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freetobe_007
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| Your husband is a selfish coward who loves attention from women and is blaming you for his flaws. If you are nice to him and loving he will turn to you but eventually he will go back to his ways.Bottom line, he made a promise to you to stop and he is still doing it. This behaviour will if it hasn't already lead to infidelity.Do not apologize anymore for feeling the way you do. You have the right to feel this way. I am sure if you dug a little deeper and actually had a conversation with one of these women [in a friendly way of course] they would tell you about the heated conversations and meet ups they have had.Be careful here, you are with a manipulative and controlling man that just wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it.You can scare him a bit but after awhile he will go back to his ways.Seek counseling to break the cycle. It is hard to be nice to someone who is disrespecting you. He needs to stop what he is doing and focus on improving the relationship..then you can focus on being nice and giving him attention and personal space. |
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Messykatttt
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| Well, it hurts you because your spouse is emotionally cheating on you and then being emotionally abusive. However, I think your bigger problem is the incredibly low self esteem you must have to end up apologizing to him. I'm not saying this to be mean, but a healthy woman would have given him an ultimatum a long time ago! He's done everything but hit you.I'd get counseling -- not to improve your marriage, but to understand why you've put up with this for so long and then to find the spine to either leave him or dump an ultimatum on him.He's manipulating you but what's worse is that you're letting him. |
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DemonFox
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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| This is a huge sign of cheating whether physically or emotionally and he won't change. Trust me, I know. I've seen way too many people go through this same situation. Unfortunately, it's time for you to move on with your life. It's not going to get any better. |
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CHER
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:16 am Post subject: |
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| have you read the book "He's just not that into you"? You should. If you are prepared to do something about it then tell him it's the chatters or you. However you have to be willing to follow through with whatever you threaten him with or you will never be taken seriously. For whatever reason he doesn't value his time with you. Why? |
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elvlayarvvi
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 10:20 am Post subject: |
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| cheating is cheating...divorce him immediately...find a place to stay too... he will only try to get you back, for no good reason, just because he does not like to "lose"cheaters never win...so, divorce him...his loss...your gain! |
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