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Cindy-Loo
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:47 pm Post subject: Is this a midlife crisis or just being fed up? |
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| Here it goes. I have been with my husband for 22 years and we have two children. Things were great for the first 14 years but then slowly declined in every area. Now, i do not recieve birthday or christmas gifts, he has depleated our savings without my knowledge, and now my credit is shot. Over the years I have always been the one to pick up the extra job when money was tight, etc. but am now expected to feel pity on him cause I have finally made him "man-up" to wrok the extra job to make up the money he bascially stole from me. Everyday I wake up and try to find something good at home but can't. The only reason I feel like I am even in this relationship is for my kids. I do love him but I am not in love anymore and I am not sure if it is a phase or that I have grown up and he hasn't. I want to be happy but the "grass is always greener on ther other side" phrase keeps ringing in my head. Does this sound like a phase or I am finally fed up with his crap? |
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Sunny Side Up
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Sounds like my parents. They've been together 37 years. You are fed up. I say go to counseling OR seperate for awhile like my parents are doing right now. |
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Natasha B
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:51 pm Post subject: |
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| you are FINALLY fed up he no longer appreciates you leave him and find someone else or be alone im sure either one is better than waking up miserable everyday life is too short to be unhappy |
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Get Your Dose Of Mickatee
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| Get something on the side to take the edge off. |
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Nicole J
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| I say divorce. Make then dicision for yourself, not for your kids, the'll be ok. |
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Jessica
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| If you're not happy with him and he's not doing anything positive or considerate for you or the kids then leave his sorry ass. |
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BettyBoop
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| you are finally fed up. trust me. I left an 18 year marriage. I felt like I had to dust the lump on the sofa. We had nothing in common, we had no communication, and I never shed a tear when I left. I have been gone for 6 years now, I have never regretted it. Best thing I ever done for myself. |
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bigdaddy
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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| It is hard but being alone will likely not help the situation. Imagine relying on him to pay his child support if you aren't there to send him to work. Dig in and try to fall back in love. |
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TC
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Get out! You can raise your kids better if you are happy than if you are irritated and in a bad marriage. It will make them stronger. He sounds like a piece of crap-he should be pulling his weight in the relationship and hes not. It sounds like he is actually pulling you back! You have to be happy above everything else because without that all the other things in your life will fail! Best of Luck! |
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Tigs
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Being IN love is not the issue. He's a dead beat and you've grown up! The midlife crisis is his not yours....from someone whose been there |
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Miss Metro
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
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| You are unfulfilled but you say you love him. It's time to pinpoint the problem and you have done that already. MONEY. Your finances can simply no longer be tied to his and if that means separate accounts and everything else SO BE IT. Save your own money, plan your own retirement. Leave him out of it. He's done enough damage. Keep his grubby fingers far away from any of the money you make. It might even be necessary to draw up a post-nuptial agreement - he signs it or you're out of there! |
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OPTIMIST
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Sounds like you are getting ready to toss your family like a used paper cup; when you marry you leave "the grass is always greener" at the door, you have no right to be looking, unless you are already on the other side of a divorce. You are just as much to blame with this mess as he is, you let this go on and now act like its a surprise. You owe it to him, the children and most of all, to yourself to seek some level of legit help like counseling and then if it doesn't work, well you really gave it your all. Don't go into getting help with a closed mind, now is the time to get real. I'll tell you what, you may not be the prize he thought he married either and maybe he has given up. |
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KathieJo
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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| The only one that can answer that question is YOU! Think about the pluses and minuses...take your time. It's been 22 years...a few months of thought and counseling won't hurt a bit! Good luck! kjl |
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fiohnax0x
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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| I think you want to leave, and I think you know deep down you will be much happier seperated from him. Don't stay for the kids when you are unhappy. Your kids will adjust, they all do so don't worry about that. I hope whatever you do makes YOU happy. He seems like he is not right for you at all. |
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Dreamgetter
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Financial struggles do tend to put alot of stress on relationships. You have been together for many many years. I understand if he would hit you, cheat on you or other horrible stuff. Then yes, let go. As far as him stealing money from you, make him pay it back. maybe it's true, you have grown up and not him. But maybe you never allowed him to grow up by not making him take full responsibilities for HIS actions. Sounds like you are fed up and feel like probably taking off somewhere by yourself. Maybe you should go away for the weekend on your own just to clear your mind and get away from everything. Do something relaxing. Then, think everything through. Best of Luck. |
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