I'm so frustrated...my cousin freeloads off of my dad, who neglects us...?
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lexie
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:45 am Post subject: I'm so frustrated...my cousin freeloads off of my dad, who neglects us...? |
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| My cousin constantly asks for things (computer, iPod, etc) from my dad, who always buys them for her. The thing is, my dad's brother - my cousin's dad, my uncle - has cancer and cannot work. Her entire family is disabled. I feel like she's using the guilt card.I'm so torn. She's always asking me for my books and things, and call me selfish, but I hate giving them away because my brother will need them later. I only do so because it's either I give her the books, or my dad will buy her a new copy (or force me to give them away).My dad calls us selfish. I think that's true, but I also think that she's going overboard by asking for all these unnecessary items. I feel so hurt. My dad has never bought me or my family any gifts - Christmas, etc.Comments or advice? |
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mamatx
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:56 am Post subject: |
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| THat would irrk me too. Helping some is fine but this is practically support. ARE you sure this kid is not his kid?? I know situation like that. Even if family is disabled they can still get benifits and financial help. She is asking more then normal help and for him not to be equel at all with you is just weird. Just say politely ""why does she get more and not even his kid? Why does your younger brother have no rights to the things also.? Why do we have to go without when we need it to.?"" Suggest other ways to help them to him. And its FATHERs day this week,,, wish I could answer better *mamatx |
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PEGGY S
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 1:00 am Post subject: |
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| Your dad does not know how to handle her grief over her dad's disease. He knows that she will eventually lose her dad to the disease. He is trying to compensate for the pain and fear she is feeling inside. People do not always show what they are feeling by crying. Sometimes it shows in a change of attitude, or actions. She may be comforting herself by knowing that your dad is still there for her, even though hers is not. She may ask for things to prove it to herself, since she knows she is not HIS child. He is always showing you love, but she feels insecure about his love for her, so she wants him to prove it by getting her things.I realize that it is complicated for you to understand, but it is part of the psychology of the human mind. Adults learn this by observation and experience during life. You are learning it through experience early in life.The main thing is not to be jealous, and realize that your dad does not love her more. He is trying to help her through a rough emotional situation. Her dad would have done the same for you, if it had happened to you. |
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