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need opinions....didn't call dad on fathers day...?

 
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choux pastry heart
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:57 pm    Post subject: need opinions....didn't call dad on fathers day...? Reply with quote

Ok so here's the deal, I came out to my dad last....februrary I think. He...did not take it so nicely. Not badly, but I certainly didn't receive much respect. Apparently I "killed" his holiday spirits by telling him that I was not interested in men. and he says he "doesnt condone this lifestyle but still loves me" and that he doesnt understand and that "these things affect your family too" and implied that I was being selfish and maybe I was ashamed of myself and that's why I kept it a secret. My point is, he....ugh god he p*ssed me off! And we've talked since then and mended things a bit since then, but I still get angry about it now and again when I think of it, and so on father's day I didn't call him. However, before father's day, I did send him a gift and card, I know it got there by father's day if not earlier because I sent it at least a week in advance, and haven't heard from him. So....idk what my question is exactly, was it horrible or was it justified of me to refrain fromcalling him on father's day considering that I sent a gift/card and haven't heard from him either, was I justified, is this acceptable, or no? opinions please?
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☺Power of the smileys h
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

if you sent a card in my opinion you didn't need to call him if you found it necessary then you should have anyway i think it was fine**************************************************************************Behold the Power of My smileys hahaha☺☻☻☺☻☻☺☻☻☺☻☻☺☻☻
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man_in_the_box2590
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

no matter how he feels, you have done nothing wrong.if someone didnt accept me for who i was i wouldnt talk to them or contact them either.i'm thinking my dad wont take my being gay too nicely either...so i'm planning on ignoring him...
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daryl
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dads forgive children for not calling or recieving a card its the time of total existance that hurts.. Also Dads worry lttle girls grow up not likeing boys for to much animosity in the world forgoodness sake girls give the boys a chance we may be dogs but can bitch with the best of them.
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jenjubatus
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think sending a gift and a card is plenty. I didn't call my father OR send a card or gift, and neither did my boyfriend, so you're pretty well covered.
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Kelly B
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To be honest I wouldn't have called him either. He is the grown up and the parent. Its his job to love and support you. You remembered him but the fact that he didn't call to say thanks is pretty upsetting. It's like he thinks you need to make it up to him now because he's the one that is hurt. Rubbish! I went through a similar thing with my dad. not coming out but him cutting me off for a while because I decided to go to university. Something he didn't agree with. Dad's need to stop acting like boys and grow up.
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Paulo
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're sweet Choux Pastry, and so your Dad (however selfish about his ambitions for you) will be upset that you're no longer the girl he thought you were. It probably took you some time to accept yourself, so it might take him a little longer too. No big deal. Don't wait for it to happen. make it happen. Now. Accept him as he is (and watch the respect flow).Good luck.
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kiki07
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well i think that if you send him a gift and a card then he should have called you to thank you. i wouldn't beat yourself up for not calling on fathers day. you're better than i am. i didn't call, send a card, or gift. i figure that i've waited so late now it's probably best i just forget it. stop worrying about it and let him give you the THANK YOU that you deserve. of course you could always call and put him on the spot by stating that since you haven't heard from him still you were afraid he didn't get it.
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Ty C
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You sent a gift and a card - your daughterly duty is done! I wouldn't feel to bad about not calling him, obviously your emotions are still running pretty high over how he reacted and his probably are too. You could always give him a call now, just ask if he got his gift, if he liked it etc. Although things are probably a bit awkward and you're still angry, the best way to get over that stage is to talk to him - even though it's difficult - just about little things. Keep the relationship going and hopefully one day soon he will change his way of thinking and become more accepting and over time your anger will fade. My advice would be to just keep talking to him every now and again, make sure you don't cut yourself off from him even though you're angry. Time will (hopefully) heal this thing.
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chillgo_om1
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You done it really well....If he was a bit rude last time when you seen him....: )Csongor
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apple
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

he's probably waiting for you to call. so just call him.
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