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Am I being selfish?

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	Gift Discussion Home -> Father's Day

Author Message sport billy Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:47 am    Post subject: Am I being selfish? I want better gifts from my wife , I buy expensive gifts and make sacrafices all the time for her. on my birth day and fathers day she takes me out to dinner. For ten straight years all I can count on is dinner at a nice resturant that she likes. I want something that is exclusive to me and I want her to spend some money on it. she makes twice as much as I do and is very tight with her money when it comes to me. I just bought her a Dodge durango , cash 16k she offered to buy me a $73 radio from circuit city for my b-day but I refused and was offended , because I hinted around for a year that I wanted a set of rims for my car. I feel like I may be selfish but at the same time I am tired of doing so much and getting so little. even in sex I spend alot of time doing what she likes but she just lays there and takes it , then I get nothing but what I can do for myself...I feel that things are one sided please give your advice. Back to top Meggy Jo Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:52 am    Post subject: Maybe she just doesn't thing that outrageous, expensive material items make good gifts.I'd choose a nice dinner over some pricey piece of crap any day! Back to top Strandedgypsey Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:53 am    Post subject: Why not ASK her, " for my b-day can I have these set of rims?" Be direct..don't hint! If she says no...then save up and buy it yourself...and then get frugal with her gifts if she's going to be that way. Back to top Kevin R Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:53 am    Post subject: Time for a heart to heart talk . Back to top Valerie X Account #10! Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:53 am    Post subject: Its my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if Want to, cry if I want to.....You would cry too if it happened to you!!!Boo Hoo Hoo......I am in the fetal position whimpering like a baby over this "dilemma".......... Back to top Brave01 Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:54 am    Post subject: Learning to give because you want to is hard. No one should expect something in return. Seek counseling to deal with your problems. Back to top shawyen Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:54 am    Post subject: No....you're not selfish at all. She may just be clueless... I guess the role has reversed in your case. You just need to be blunt and tell her what you want. Some people doesn't understand hints.... If I want something, I have to flat out and say, I want that for my b-day or christmas. Same goes for sex. Tell her what turns you on and what you want her to do. Laying there and taking it is just boring! Back to top Jesse J Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:54 am    Post subject: Things seem one sided its not just you. Stop being so giving. Just give her basic gifts for her birthday and mothers day you also pick the restaurant. When its your birthday just tell her you dont have to take me out, my friends will take me out. As for sex, start taking control in the bed room. Back to top Damiana Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:55 am    Post subject: Well she can't read your mind any more than you can read hers. And for all the "women's intuition" in the world, sometimes we just can't take a hint either. Yeah, it seems a little selfish because you're choosing to buy her these nice gifts and expect reciprocal gifts of equal monetary value. When you give a gift it shouldn't be with expectations of a return gift in mind, even if it's deserved. That being said, all I can tell you is to be honest yet tactful and talk to her about these things. Say "I realize I may be being a bit selfish but this is how I feel..." If she's worth her salt she'll appreciate it. Back to top naplliny Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:56 am    Post subject: If you have enogh cash to drop 16k on a car. Go buy your own stuff. Still expect to go for dinner but buy your own b-day gifts. Thats what I do. Back to top STFU_0123 Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:56 am    Post subject: Sure it sounds selfish, but I understand where your coming from. Its okay to be selfish once in awhile and if your giving more than your getting in return than really its not that selfish at all. Next holiday, birthday etc. when you would normally buy her a gift dont indulge or splurge, take her for dinner or buy something small. In the bedroom dont use so much effort. She'll eventually ask why your not doing the things you normally would and thats your window of opportunity to tell her your reasons. Back to top unknown Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:56 am    Post subject: you are definitely being selfish.expecting something in return for giving is selfish.but your past that expecting equal or more.shame on you. Back to top seer eyus Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:57 am    Post subject: no, but if you're not getting what you want just be more vocal about it. we all wish that our wives would simply just get what we want, but women usually do what they think you want which is usually what she thinks would be nice instead of what you really want. I've experienced similar things, but at the same time man i don't know enough about he situation to say whether she is intentionally being selfish or not, she's just being a woman lol. Back to top Witchy Woman Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:58 am    Post subject: All i can say is, IT IS THE THOUGHT that should count. If there is true love you should not care what she buys you. Now as far as her being selfish, was she that way when you married her? I hate to see you go through this but if it is making you this unhappy, you need to make up your mind to see how you want this to go and take steps to do it. Back to top Nancy Grace Yahoo User Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:00 am    Post subject: No, I don't think so. I've had this problem with past boyfriends. I think you should react how she or any girl would react being in your shoes by being more straight-forward. Just explain to her why you refused the cheap $73 radio, let her know that regardless if she doesn't like the gift she's spending the big money on, bottom line is it's what makes you happy and she needs to understand that. It's more about giving, being generous, and making the person happy. Communicate to her on the things you've been doing to make her happy, ask her if there's anything more she needs, then tell her it would be great if she can improve on the bedside matter- spicing things up by being more proactive in the participation along with buying the items that would make you happy and not wasting money on small items you don't care for. Back to top

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