Am I being selfish?
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Jaysmomee
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:00 am Post subject: |
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| Everything you just typed to us, you need to say to your wife. Let her know how you feel....gently of course. Bedroom: don't give so much for so long is she isn't returning the favor and as for the gifts...sounds like she's El Cheapo....once again, don't give so much if you aren't happy with the return. Good Luck. |
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Leese
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:01 am Post subject: |
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| i think this is a common situation for married couples to be in. communication is the answer! your feelings will only get worse if you don't resolve them now. tell her that you feel slighted and need more acknowledgement. the bottom line is that she needs to spend some more time doing things for you. |
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surfmum
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:02 am Post subject: |
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| Why don't you tell her how you feel.Be more assertive and say for my birthday perhaps we could do something different for a change such as........ then tell her what you want.In fact comunication is really the key thing in this. You are expecting her to be a mind reader and know what you want. Just tell her what you would like more off and if you feel that your expensive presents are going un appreciated then stop, spend less on her and the money you save you can use to buy what you want.Theres no point building up resentment over it. |
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PJ
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 11:03 am Post subject: |
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| You are not being selfish. It sounds pretty one-sided to me. You have some specific complaints about your relationship. How are the other aspects?The two of you might benefit from couples counseling. If you have a trusted friend or pastor, you might seek their help.I was taught to be a generous person with both my time and assets. I admit that, at one time in my life, I was so focused on my career that my marriage suffered. My husband had many of the same complaints. My problem was that I was just so darn tired at the end of the day, and so driven to succeed, that I didn't have the energy to put into my personal relationship.This stuff all came out during counseling. My (ex) husband was able to tell me what he thought was wrong with our relationship. Our marriage didn't survive because there were other issues, but counselling made me aware that I was partially to blame.Is your wife career oriented? So many of us try so hard to be everything to everybody that we lose ourselves in the effort. Do you communicate well? If not, couseling with a neutral third party might help.Good luck! |
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I39
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe a little bit selfish, but is it possible that you have spoiled her? Maybe she just expects to be treated well and not have to reciprocate. As for bday presents, why don't you just ask her if you can buy your own presents? I never have a clue what my husband wants. For his bday and anniversary he just goes out and buys something for himself. He likes it because he can splurge on himself w/out feeling guilty, and I don't have to go and buy him something that he really doesn't want. Maybe you are being a bit petty. Being married is about being happy together. When these challenges come along you need to consider if you should let something go, or figure out a solution. |
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