	Gift Search:

FAQ

Why is it always up the man to wine/dine and buy gifts for a woman?


	Gift Discussion Home -> Wine

Author

Message

Blue Bird
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:17 am Post subject: Why is it always up the man to wine/dine and buy gifts for a woman?

Why does society put an unfair expectation on men to wine and dine women and buy them things? Can't it be equal or even vice versa? Have any women dine and dined their men and bough them stuff?I'm asking because I'm a woman have met an amazing man recently. He makes less money than me. I want to wine take him out to nice places and shower him with gifts? Do you think this would be ok? I'd like to know from other women who have done it. He seems to be confident in his manhood so that he wouldn't be emasculated.

Latin G
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:20 am Post subject:

he's gonna think something is wrong with you..

Mean Carleen
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:20 am Post subject:

You have just described Societies TYPICAL man.If this description is what men truly are then so be it but if its not..I don't think men should try to conform to it and be themselves.

hey you
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:21 am Post subject:

go for it! i think that women should pay and take guys out sometimes~

Violet Pearl
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:23 am Post subject:

Traditionally, men had to prove themselves worthy- that they had the maturity and responsibility needed to support a wife and family. Men defined their own worth based on their success in the workplace and their ability to provide. Times may have changed, but basic human biology hasn't.It's not a good idea to shower a man with gifts. You'll make him feel inferior. It's fine to offer a home cooked meal, and to show your affection in other ways, but trying to "buy" his attention won't work.

J L
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:23 am Post subject:

I am a guy. I wold be a little embarassed if you did this. Yes, society makes us men feel like we have to be providers and such. I would not flaunt things as it may make him uncomfortable that you do make more money even if he knows it. Instead be a little subtle.Invite him to a home cooked meal-but make it fancy. You can spoil him yet he can get used to the idea without being in public. Maybe you are right and he will not care but why not be respectful and start slowly.

jk1967
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:25 am Post subject:

well how about having him take u out and then when u are done let him know how much fun u had and suggest next time u go out too go too your place and it is your treat he might go for that if not find another man

Regus
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:25 am Post subject:

There is nothing wrong with that!I'm 24 & a male tbh I'd be stoked if a lady wanted to wine & dine me! I'd think wow! this lady is awesome! xD Society has and is changing.Saying the man should always pay ect.. is wrongSame as. The woman should be in the kitchen 24/7 while the man goes to work. if he doesnt apprecite your Generosity .. Then its up to you good luck :]

lilylady20
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:26 am Post subject:

I do that for my boyfriend I buy him stuff all the time. He makes more money than me though so he usually pays, but I try whenever I can.He likes it, and he understands that I can't do it all the time but likes it when I do.

CatNip
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:29 am Post subject:

Like you said, it just societal BS, that most people subscribe to. Do what you want to do and if he gets embarrassed or mad about it, he isn't the right person for you.

jewels15
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:31 am Post subject:

Ha! Ha! Really, I guess carrying a baby around in our bellies for nine months and I won't go through the details of birth maybe the reason. I believe Men like it that way. They like knowing they are the provider. Its probable ok, but I would be careful, he may or may not take it the way you do???? Good luck.

Whistle M
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:33 am Post subject:

nope that's just not right ...

ANDRE L
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:40 am Post subject:

You're quite correct to point out the social hypocrisy of supporting equal pay for women, but sticking men with NON equal pay-OUT. In a culture where we supposedly value equality, then women doing half the paying is appropriate. As well as buying men gifts that cost 3 months salary at the time of engagement...Now, because it is still a societal trope that "men pay", you might want to discuss this topic, in private, with him, first. Explain that you enjoy his company, and that your situation makes it easier for you to cover some of the nice times out and gift giving. Make sure that you make it very clear to him that this is NOT a head game ploy where he'll have to match what you do (Many women do do such things, so his experiences may have given him a reason to be a bit wary about this topic.). Also, we guys aren't as much into "gift showering" as many women are. So, it would likely be better to get him a less frequent list of gifts, but make them more specific to his desires and tastes. Start with lesser cost items, and don't make big leaps in price. A former S/O who made then, more than I did, covered most of the costs of our going out. We discussed it, and we were both fine with it. My current wife is also even handed about what recreational expenses we'd have, and who and how to cover them. Real equality of the sexes does mean that not only the man gets the privilege to pay the bills. You are a wise and generous person to understand that truth, and to be happy to provide such pleasures for your guy. Bravo.PS> Piper asks why men get paid more for the same job. Since thats neither true, or even legal (See Equal Pay Act of 1963), this is a false premise question of hers. The excellent and fact filled book by Warren Farrell "Why Men Earn More" shows that her question's starting premise was false.

	Gift Discussion Home -> Wine	All times are GMT - 6 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Source: