Please more help!!!! What does he think about me? Does he know? (I hope not!) Did I make a fool of myself?

L · Yahoo User

I'm a young, adult female in college. One of the head priest at my church resigned due to administrative problems. Well, I've had a crush on him for the last six years. Sometimes, I want him to be my father (I didn't have one). I haven't been to church in three months b/c I'm trying to figure out my life & do some soul searching. Three months ago I made an appointment with the priest and told him about some of the probs I was experiencing with the church & one with him. I cried most of the visit and left. We emailed back and forth once a month & a half ago. A few days ago I emailed him to I to ask if he needed help packing up his office. (I did this b/c I can't afford a gift:( )So he told me when he was going to start. I went today. Helped him pack up a lot of books. (It was over a dozen boxes). Well, he ran out of boxes. He then says he's tired and done for the day. I asked him does he need any more help he said "no, it's just personal stuff on the walls I have to get and that corner."While we were packing up stuff. He gave me two things (which I wasn't expecting). He gave my an portable email thing but I have to pay a monthly fee to use it. He said it wasn't the state of the art and was 7-8 yrs. old. He also gave me a rug from somewhere (I forgot; I think it was Africa.) Well, he said thank you and I was such a good soul. He asked was I doing better; I said yes. I almost left but came back and asked him what he was going to do now. He told me a vacation, do stuff for his kids in aug, and consultation work in Minn. I told him that sound good & exciting. I know he stayed around b/c his car was there after I left the library and passed the church. It was lunch time and I think he had a lunch date. II cried by myself b/c I'll never see him again and he doesn't care. He's a married episcopal priest with kids. I don't want a relationship more like a friendship or a least know he's not gone FOREVER=(