Engagement Party... or Not?

Kimera S · Yahoo User

I am about at my wits end over this. My fiancee and I were engaged in early December 2006, and our actual wedding is in late March of next year. (Apparently these facts are very important as you will see.)Back in January my mother thought it would be a great idea for both her and my fmil to team up to do the engagement party. My fiancee and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and mom thought this was a great way to 'help the kids out'. My fmil completely nixed the concept giving the following reasons. (1) We had been engaged for over a year, too long to warrant a party. (2) A few of her friends/family had given us gifts already. The final word from my inlaws to be was that if my mother wanted to throw an engagement party, she should throw it for my side of the family only.My mother was surprised, to say the least. After all, according to her and other women in my family (1) Engagement parties are typcially thrown close to the wedding, because some people have long engagements and because this way any moonentary gifts can be put towards the cost of the reception..the bills which come due closer to the actual wedding date. (2) Any person who already gave a gift is of course not expected to 'double up' and being invited to the actual party is a nice thank you. Long story short since his side of the family is the vast majority of local guests, the idea died a quick death.No engagement party for us then.At this point it really is academic, but which mother was right? Did we deserve to have an engagement party??P.S.1- We are having one bridal shower and one bachelor party to my knowelege.2- E-parties are done in BOTH families, and neighborhoods, ironically his cousin just sent us an invite to her e-party, slated for a month after ours would have been, and he had just gone to his bff's e-party the day before this debate took off.3- The two scheduled parties mentioned above and the discarded e-party were the sum total of the pre-wedding celebrations.Hope that helps put everything in prospective ^_^Since e-parties are traditional in both my fiancee and my own family, Please dont answer with 'I think they are silly, greedy etc.' They are, like many things are, percieved differently by different people. -Thank you.Hmm two answers with the ... youre being greedy. So lets get this clear.the Bachelor Party/Bridal Shower thing is for the bride and her closest friends.the Rehersal dinner is for the Bridal Party.An e-party is defined (in our families) as a party for the in-town guests of the wedding, to celebrate the upcoming wedding.There is very little crossover, so what exactly is supposed to be greety about having an e-party?