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Relationship help!?


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Eileen B
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject: Relationship help!?

I need outsiders opinions! My husband ignores my birthdays, anniversaries, mothers day, etc. He never remembers and when I remind him, he says he has no extra money to get me something and he throws me a card from the dollar store. I tell him, you dont need money, you can be creative and loving without money. Today he comes home and tells me he wants to buy a gift for his friend at work and his birthday is in 2 weeks. Needless to say I FREAKED OUT, first he is planning this 2 weeks in advance and apparently has been giving it alot of thought, second, he is finding money for this? When I started freaking out, he told me I was so wrong and crazy! We havent spoken the rest of the night and I think I would like to hear from someone not involved what they think of this? Am being overly crazy here?

Shogun is the chauvinist
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject:

Nope you have the right to freak out... you're his wife. maybe he's cheating on you... lets hope not. But most guys just forget after awhile. Hell I will forget and thats for sure. But to give someone a gift and not remember yours... thats a NO NO.Better talk to him and ask him who it is

rrmorris45
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:47 pm Post subject:

Nope, I don't think your being crazy. It would bother the hell out of me too if my husband was doing this. The only suggestion i could think of is - to drop the whole thing. Not to talk about it at all anymore. Never bring it up. Just let it go. See what happens - because to me, it sounds more like a power struggle for your husband to "win" that it does about your feelings or actually celebrating your birthday. Good luck sweetheart.

Juliet
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject:

no you are not crazy at all...tell him to just get a card from the dollar store...bc you guys have no money....

minna_k04
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:51 pm Post subject:

I would love to say "No Big Deal" but I would flip out. Not the greatest advice, but that's not fair. You should call him on it.

Kim K
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:53 pm Post subject:

Ask him why he can do this for a co-worker but not you - his wife. I think it is pretty inconsiderate on his part. He should at least put thought into a card.....like write something in it or something for your birthday, etc.Start ignoring all of the holidays for him.....I would!

Elaine S
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:58 pm Post subject:

If my husband did this to me I would be pissed. If he can remember a friends birthday then he should be able to remember mine. My husband doesnt always remember the exact date of our anniversary but I give him plenty of reminders when it is getting close. And I dont expect him to spend money on me, we could just go on a picnic and spend the evening together when we cant afford anything else. I would explain to your husband why you are feeling this way and that he is making it seem like his friend is more important to him than you are. But you have every right to be upset.

Bill
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject:

Your not being crazy at all, if he cannot remember you on your special occasions or afford to get you anything then he certainly shouldn't be doing it for a friend, tell him that mabye he needs to move in with his friend and that you should find someone who respects you enough to show you affection on your special days, I understand how you feel because my wife never, and I mean never gets me anything for our days, normally I don't even get a Happy Birthday until its bedtime, however if I were a woman I would get him where it hurts the worse and that means no magic for a while.

Anya
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:34 pm Post subject:

Well yes, I do think you're crazy to be married to this forgetful man!!! Why does he not have extra money to buy you a gift??? Are you guys struggling financially? Even if he could come up with something creative, you should by all means expect a little something special every now and then...it doesn't have to be pricey. His priorities are way off....finding money for the friend's gift? What is going on here?? Sit this man of yours down and DEMAND that you get the treatment you deserve, and that your birthday-anniversary, whatever...is coming up. Heck with the co-worker friend....YOU are first!!! I don't know how long you are married but you should feel appreciated no matter what!! Good luck!!

Dawne W
Yahoo User

Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 7:28 pm Post subject:

Don't feel bad you're not alone. I get the "no money" excuse all the time. But I never forget him. One day I will wise up and not do it anymore and watch how quickly he says something. You aren't overreacting at all but I can't tell you what to do because I am in the same position. Sometimes guys can be so clueless.

Daisy
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 6:59 am Post subject:

For some reason, many men tell women that we are crazy when they have done something wrong. No, you are not crazy - but his behavior is enough to make someone feel crazy! Your husband is purposely showing you that you are not significant enough to him to remember a few important days each year. If you can afford it, and if he is willing to go, please seek a counselor. He needs to see the error of his ways.

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