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Graveside ettiquette?

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Author Message Deckard Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:33 am    Post subject: Graveside ettiquette? Assuming that you, your people or culture bury their dead, or memorialise them with a plaque, cairn or the like, if you visit that site, do you leave flowers, gifts, candles, stones, etc?While you are there, do you talk to the person whose "grave" it is? Is it a simple "Hello", or do you say more? I am under the understanding that some people's beliefs do not allow them to speak to the dead. What, if you are one of those people, do you do? Do you speak to them, regardless? Back to top Pierce Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:36 am    Post subject: I know that there is no-one there, but sometimes I talk to the memory of someone when I visit my dads grave Back to top Vox Populi Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:37 am    Post subject: No, no, and no.Graveyards, besides being a good place to bury the dead, also double nicely as a quiet place to go and read a good book.Who's possibly going to bother you? Back to top Millenium Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:38 am    Post subject: If I want to "speak" to someone at their gravesite. . .I'd speak to them. I'd bring flowers, a gift, a card, or whatever else that moved me to bring. Maybe it's more solace to the "living". . .but what's wrong with THAT?!? Back to top esoteric_noodles Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:40 am    Post subject: i just take a few minutes to remember them i may actually speak to them even though i know they cant hear me... more for my benefit than anything else Back to top Laurie K Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:41 am    Post subject: I don't need to go to the grave site to "commune" with my dad, but when I do, I usually sit and have a "conversation" with him, whether it's out loud or just in my head. Sometimes I'll take a flower, but I think he'd just rather "feel" my presence. I think if your culture or beliefs don't allow you to talk to your dead, then I would probably simply do it in my head where no one could hear my thoughts. Back to top Rai A Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:43 am    Post subject: Different people grieve differently for many different reasons.SOME might talk to the dead as if they were still able to carry out part of the conversation. Others might just contemplate the person's life.The only real guideline would be to quietly be respectful of another' needs and be there when/if they want to talk.. Back to top Kerrie G Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:44 am    Post subject: We can't leave anything but flowers at the cemetery where my dad is buried. It's against the rules of the cemetery for some reason. But I love going there and feeling just a little closer to him, or at least where his earthly remains are. I sometimes say hello to him, just like you do when you go and visit someone, but that's because you feel their presence more and you know they're near. Back to top Pamela V Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:44 am    Post subject: No, I don't I place the flowers & I leave. Back to top The Mommy Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:46 am    Post subject: I think you have to be yourself............I blow a kiss to my sons grave every time I go...I KNOW he isnt there,.....but, it makes me feel better.......... Back to top Cheyuk Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:46 am    Post subject: I believe that the gravesite is a focal point for the living, but not for the dead. However, should someone visit and begin talking to the deceased, I believe that the spirit may be inclined to show up and listen.I, personally, do not leave gifts at the site, as I consider it to be not only useless to the dead, but also more eco-friendly.Show your respect for the ones who have passed by cleaning up the headstone/plaque/marker and have your conversation, but also talk to the deceased when you're not there.I know that I talk to my brother quite often and rarely visit his gravesite, as I feel that he is with me more than I realize. Back to top Yitka - The Emperor,s hel Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:48 am    Post subject: When my grandma got buried, five years ago, we would go, with my mom on her tomb, and talk about her, and make jokes, which she used to like.Now, my mom died on May 17Th, so, i go there by my self, and think of the jokes, we talked about with my mom, who is next to my granny.It is sort of wishful thinking, to be able, to make the time go back Back to top Lavender Lou Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:50 am    Post subject: Whenever I visit loved ones graves, sometimes I take a flower and other times I simply tell them I miss them or that I love them. Back to top Eva B Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:11 am    Post subject: It was the last place I saw my loved one. Albeit my loved one was passed, I guess its just a human thing for me. I feel like I'm looking for my loved one, even tho I know they are gone. I sit quietly for a minute or so, and I must go. Back to top Jimmy J Yahoo User Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:19 am    Post subject: Please don't leave garbage at a grave site. Someone has to pick that crap up. Back to top

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