Opinion on breaking up with my bf of 2 years because of his children...

jmel_1979 · Yahoo User

I've been with my boyfriend for over two years. We are living together and talking marriage. We're both 29. For the most part we are happy; we have a lot of fun together and enjoy each others company. The problem are his 2 children; a 9 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. They've been in the picture since the beginning but since living together this past year, I really experienced trying to be a parental figure to these children. There are many issues with them. Their mother is not great and rarely wants to actually be a mother so they live with us. The children of course want their mother. When she does have them there are no rules, cheap gifts, and fast food given. Then when she's sick of them she dumps them off. The children have horrible behavior and are constantly in trouble at school. They are wild, obnoxious, and annoying. That being said, I do love them and treat them very well but they have wore me out. They are so much work 24/7 and their behavior has only gotten worse. We've tried everything we can think of behavior wise and it hasn't worked. I'm a teacher and I understand about discipline and consistancy. It's just not working. Their mother actually took them for the summer and it has been wonderful. After the first month, they came to visit for a week. It was the same old same old. Everything was a fight. There was constant stress and tension in the air. Nobody was happy after a day. Them because they can't get their way over everything and have rules to follow, my boyfriend because he gets frustrated with their behavior, and myself because it's so much work and stress with no pay off. I don't look at them at the end of the day and see a child I helped create no matter how badly they behave. I don't have those loving feelings a parent has for their own child.They are to return to us for the school year and I'm dreading it. I just don't think I can give up my life for these kids who a) don't want to live with us; b) who don't even seem to try or care to be good kids; and c) who my boyfriend questions are even his as his ex wife cheated on him all through their marriage but is too afraid to find out for sure. The problem is every time I try to talk to him about my feelings it of course ends up in a tense argument. The next day he pretends we didnt talk. He doesn't want to face that I can't be with him because of his kids. Obviously they come first, I have never fought that and never would. It's just hard for me to stand firm on it when I do love him and want to be with him. I've thought of enduring it but I want my own children and I don't know that I could devote enough time and energy to another child with taking care of his two as well. How do I break up with a boyfriend I'm in love with and want to be with but have to move to the side because of his children when he doesn't want to accept it either?