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nam_miles
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| Good luck to you, sounds like immaturity runs in the family. |
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sparky
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:06 am Post subject: |
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| If he wants to skate, let him skate! He's has a right to some fun, like all of us! If he's out working 7 days a week to support a family at his age, then you should cut him slack and let him relax once in a while. |
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TreeAlbero
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:06 am Post subject: |
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| "What, is she trying to make up for the past?"Yes, probably. She was 18 when he was born. She wasn't done growing up. She probably feels she could have done a better job had she waited to have him.You and your husband also became parents at a young age. She knows first hand that the years many of us spend focusing on ourselves have been taken over by the responsibilities of a married father. She feels sorry for him and wants to give him a bit of freedom.Please don't think I'm dismissing how hard you're working. Taking care of a one year old on your own often (because of the amount your husband is working) is brutal. I understand that you want your husband to want to spend his time with you and your child when he's not working. Maybe he can skate (assuming he wants to) when you and the baby aren't home or asleep.Best of luck. |
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lksproodle51
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:06 am Post subject: |
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| You are being selfish if he works that much maybe she feels he deserves some fun time for himself. Make it a family affair pack a nice lunch and the baby and go to a skate park for some fun.Seems like he has his priorities straight so don't make a mountain out of a mole hill loosen up a bit if he feels smothered or under your thumb with nasty thoughts toward his Mom it may make things sour for your relationship.Give your situation a bit more thought. |
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cordeliabrainiac
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:08 am Post subject: |
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| TThis is your husband's birthday, not yours. You are married and have a baby, its time you grew up. Not everything is about you. How about getting a job so your husband doesn't have to work 7 days a week? That would be a hella good present. |
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Cody F
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:08 am Post subject: |
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| are you a teen into skating if not it is inepropreat |
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just giving an answer
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:09 am Post subject: |
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| let her buy it ...................he will either use it or not ............maybe he needs something to do just for him and if you rant about his mom buying it then she will win in the i told you stakes ............let him be the one to decide what he wants not you or you just become a contol freak or appear to be to his family ...................rise above it having seen your add on if your not careful you'll find yourselves in a divorce court I'm sure your family do things he finds annoying it's called human nature |
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Maars
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:09 am Post subject: |
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| You're right. This does seem inappropriate. |
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kincaid1
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:13 am Post subject: |
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| I would have to say that's a gift for a little kid - not a man with responsibilities like a family. What if he breaks an arm or a leg while trying new things out on the skateboard? Ask your MIL if she is going to supplement his income if he is unable to work. You can let her give him the gift, but once she's gone tell him there is no way he is taking up this hobby anymore when he has to support the family. |
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Elyse K
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:13 am Post subject: |
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| What is so wrong with skating? My son is 21 years old and he skates. Not as much as he did when he was younger because he is busy with college, work and his fiancee but still he skates. It's good exercise. His fiancee goes to the park with him sometimes and reads or walks around and gets some exercise herself. Why are you so threatened by his mother? What is the big deal out of her buying something for the baby? You could have said that you weren't sure you wanted to use a walker but would love to have a gift card for Target...or suggested something else that she could have gotten for the baby. If she buys something that you don't like don't you know how to return it to the store? Don't you know how to smile and say thank you and then give it to someone else would could use it?And, why do you begrudge your husband who you say works 56 hours a week some time alone? Maybe you should consider getting an education or getting a job so he doesn't have to work so hard. Or maybe you need to organize yourself so that when he isn't working he's isn't saddled with a bunch of unimportant shopping and chores that you could be doing. Marriage is a partnership full of compromise. You sound very inflexible and angry. |
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Clare
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 7:29 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe she doesn't realise that the gift is a little thoughtless. She maybe doesn't realise that you are already finding it difficult with a young child when he spends time away. I would not take it too seriously, especially when you don't know for sure the intention behind it... Some mothers love to get their grown-up sons fun gifts like this, they want to recreate the happiness the same present would have given when the man was a boy. Maybe she misses him too. I would not take it as a personal slight. Your husband may not even want to go skating anymore. If it bothers you I would say something to your husband like 'that was really sweet of your mum to get you a skateboard but I hope you're not gonna be out on it TOO much cos I need your help round the house' Almost make it a joke but try to embrace the things he likes too. Maybe he could teach the baby when it's older and it would be a fun thing that brings your family together not drives it apart. I'm afraid I think you may be creating tension when, from what you have said, it doesn't sound like his mother has a personal thing against you. I would not interfere in her choice of gifts even if you don't approve, it will only create problems between you and your husband and then if she did intend to cause problems she will have succeeded. I understand that by listing these things you are giving more information to get better answers but going over all these things which have upset you in the past will NOT help the situation. You have the power not her, you have a new baby with this man. Try to start afresh and and build some bridges between your family and his mother any way you can for the sake of your child. Be the bigger party. |
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love9012
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| There is nothing wrong buying him a skateboard. Maybe his mom just want him to be happy and enjoy as you mention she works 7 days a week. I guess, she is not getting back your husband, come on grow up. Don't be too sensitive one day you will be a mother-in-law too. (lol) Try to love, accept and be friend with her. I guess that is the best gift you can give on his b-day. You will make him very, very happy. |
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Charlene S
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:36 am Post subject: |
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| It is easy to see why this lady might want her son to spend some time by himself doing something carefree and enjoyable that reminds her of earlier days in which he was happy and nearby.Also, one does not really need to buy gifts for people on the basis of whether it would be useful to the whole family. It's her son's birthday and she bought him a gift she thought he might enjoy. No big deal. At worst, it is a bit silly, but I sure don't think that a 20 year old is over the hill for skateboarding purposes. You sound terribly bitter about a great deal of your life. Mothers-in-law can be a nuisance, but is it really fair to blame so many of your troubles on her? |
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Sasha
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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| You might like something that he can enjoy with the family, but it's HIS birthday. If he likes skateboarding then, yeah, it is an appropriate gift. It doesn't matter what age he is or if he has a child, just because someone is married and a parent doesn't mean they need to give up their own interests and stay in all the time being boring. You sound as if you're really bitter about the amount of time he spends with you as well as other things, which isn't very healthy. The guy works 7 days a week, as long as he's a good dad and a good husband then he should be able to go out and enjoy himself. |
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justwondering
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:15 am Post subject: |
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| I don't see anything wrong with the gift and I think you are over reacting. Just because he has a skateboard doesn't mean he's going to go out skateboarding and just because he goes out skateboarding doesn't mean it can't be a family affair. Skate parks are usually near playgrounds. Take the kids. Have a picnic.You really need to find a way to make peace with your mother in law or you will not have a happy marriage. |
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