GiftPointer - Gift Shopping in the right direction
Gift Search: 
 FAQFAQ   RegisterRegister    Log inLog in 

What should I do regarding my friend "Laura"?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Gift Discussion Home -> Father's Day
Author Message
Tinkerbell77
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:40 am    Post subject: What should I do regarding my friend "Laura"? Reply with quote

I have been friends with Laura for about 3 1/2 years. She was a frequent customer at a previous job that I had worked at. We eventually started hanging out and quickly became friends. Laura always came to my house or we went out to eat etc. She never invited me over to her house. I am 31 and married with a small child while Laura is 33 and unmarried with no children. After being friends for about a year and a half, the place that I had been working at was going out of business. Laura knew that I wanted some kind of part time job so she asked me if I wanted to clean for her elderly parents. I had never met them nor had I been to their home at this point in time. The state pays for someone to come in and clean for a few hours a week. Since Laura and I were such good friends, I decided to take the job. Not only was I doing them a favor, but they were doing me a favor. Now I hate cleaning and wouldn't choose this kind of job ever again. But I thought that since we were friends that it would be a better atmosphere, I guess. Now Laura lives with her parents because after finishing college she thought it would be best if she moved back in to help with the finances of the house etc. Anyhow, I have been cleaning their house for 2 years now, but I am really thinking about quitting. While I still consider Laura my friend and have come to think of her mother as a friend of sorts too, I am just to stressed out about cleaning their home. For starters, they have 2 big dogs that are a year old. Because Laura is at work for most of the day, her parents are in charge of taking care of the dogs. Her father uses a walker to walk and moves really slow. Her mother is a very overweight woman (at last 400 pounds). Neither of them can get the dogs out to the bathroom in time so the dogs will poop and pee in the house at times on piddle pads. Because they also have a few cats, the house smells of animal urine every single day. It's permanently in the floorboards or something. So I need to literally hold my breath when I am there. When I come home, my husband has to hold his breath because I smell like the house. I shower right away, of course. Not only does their house smell, but they have a ton of clutter. I am paid to technically clean after Laura's dad, however, her mother makes the list and I usually just follow them. I clean the kitchen and bathrooms, then I vacuum and dust. Typical cleaning things. The thing is, I really don't think anyone else cleans besides me. When I am there, Laura is just coming home from work. She sits down on the couch or plays with her dogs. The most I've seen her do is clean up dog poo, make dinner or garden for her mother. If you saw Laura's bedroom, you'd die. You can not see the floor. She has piles upon piles of clothing and stuff everywhere. There are cobwebs on her shelves and things on the wall. Her mother and I tried cleaning her room for her while she was away one time, but it went back to how it was before within the year. The spare room is a place to throw misc. things. Their front room has xmas gifts still in it. They haven't found a home for them apparently. Laura has a dog crate along with 2 of those plastic dresser type things (that can be found at Walmart) full of dog stuff in the kitchen. I've been asked by Laura if I could get a cobweb that she noticed or pick up this or that from the floor. I feel that if she noticed a cobweb then why didn't she knock it down or if she needs something off the floor then why doesn't she pick it up. I have come to the conclusion that the entire family is lazy and doesn't want to clean a darn thing. It really frustrates me because I am supposed to be there to help an elderly person clean house. I am not there to clean the entire house while everyone else sits around and watches TV. It has come to the point where if they need something done they just ask me instead of having Laura do it. That's how I feel at least. Because of everything I have put up in the past 2 years, Laura and I barely hang out anymore or chit chat on the phone even. I would like our friendship to be like it was before, but the only way that can happen is if I quit this job. However, when I do quit, what should I say my reason is. I don't want to go into this with her parents. I would rather wait until I have quit and then sit down and talk to Laura about how I feel. What do you think? If you need more info on anything, lmk.Thank you all for your comments. Should I tell Laura eventually how I truly felt working for them (i.e. how she never does anything around the house herself and how if she had her own place she'd have to) or should I not bother?I should also mention that the past few times I had stayed at least 10 minutes over my time limit. This means in those 10 minutes I did not get paid. The last time I was there I said I was leaving on time that day. So her mom asks me if I could clean the entire front hall. I said I had time to only mop the floor quickly where the puddle pads normally go (because I wasn't staying later than what I got paid). She says can't I do it out of the goodness of my heart. Ok I just gave them like 20 minutes of free cleaning last week. Plus they never tell me that I can leave early or when I'm sick to collect pay anyhow so why should I clean for free. They have Laura to do it, if they need something done, but everyone acts like Laura is soooooo busy with other things (work, church stuff, her dogs, running around doing errands). Isn't that what adults do?Oh and her mom will always say that we shouldn't chit chat so I can get everything done, but then she'll talk to me. Or she'll give me way more things to do than the time I have to do it in.
Back to top
im gunna w
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi, my opinion in this matter is that you find another job.
Back to top
Loran
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
Back to top
Rock29992
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

just say your thinking about getting a new job to further your career, or get experience in soemthing else.she can't expect you to stay there forever.then once you get a new job, invite her out or something to catch up, and ask how her parents are doing.just be nice about it, and if she has a problem with it its her fault not urs.
Back to top
EddY'sthemiddlename
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would quit, why do something you hate? and it seems like they take you for granted.
Back to top
Xemnas227
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you should do what makes you happy. If Laura is really your friend, she should understand. If you do decide to quit, don't make yourself feel guilty either. Make it known that you appreciated their nice offer for work, but you need to move on.Hope it helps!!!!(This may sound weird but I'm a 14 year old boy -LOL-)
Back to top
zainab gangaali
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you have tried your best quit the job and tell them that your husband wants you at home and you need the time enjoy yourself
Back to top
rolypoly
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well my dear... all i can say firstly, is that i have never heard of such a 'disgusting' workplace before and I feel sorry that you took the job. leave that alone for now. You have to think about yourself and your family and your well being. When they dont need you anymore, they will tell you without thinking about your feelings etc. So now its time to make the choice ....are you serious about wanting to quit?Then it is this easy....write a letter and hand in your resignation on ground of the fact that you dont need to do this anymore, for anyone!!! Then when Laura ask you about your decision - you explain how you feel. Do you think she cares about your feelings if she is sitting there and you are cleaning their disgusting mess? No, i dont think so.No more - dont 'chase them' - replace them... thats my advise.
Back to top
nealltoh
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

first of all, in their house, they also have their responsibility to maintain and keep the house clean for it is their house. What if you quit that job? the house will be a animal habitat or a jungle. Second, your only responsibility is to clean the house, but you cannot clean the house forever, you must suggest sometimes some ways to maintain the cleanliness of the house. Thirdly, if Laura is a real friend, you will tell her your opinions about your work. She will understand for sure (if she is your friend). This might loosen your burden.
Back to top
gobonzzo
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

They need to (1) get rid of the dogs and cats, (2) get therapy, (3) get a dumpster and toss out everything in the house. These people have mental problems and need help. All you can is to tip-toe around the main issues which does not solve anything. If they are not willing to do this stuff then you need to bail out.When I owned an apartment building in Jersey City we had a tenant, a big old fat woman, who had her apartment piled high with trash. She had junk covering 90% of the floor space piled 3-4 feet deep. One room she had not been into for 13 years because it was all blocked with trash. So we got a dumpster and had it dropped right under her window and threw out all the crap.People who live like this are mentally deficient in some way and cannot be expected to make rational decisions on their own. Unless you are willing to make these decisions for them then you have no alternative but to bail out of the deal.
Back to top
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Gift Discussion Home -> Father's Day All times are GMT - 6 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Source:     Powered by Yahoo! Answers



Privacy Policy  |  Contact Us | © 2008 GiftPointer.com. All Rights Reserved