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Taking back
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject: Poem...Travel Sickness...please critique!!? |
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| It's winter so I've got my cold back,I wrap myself in bedsheets and stand out on the balcony,I'm wishing you were here with me,Cause days disappear as the tide comes and washes me away.I'm on the road with a couple of my best friends,But I still miss you cause the images in my heart never end,They are like a movie suck on repeat,The reel is my heart and it's growing way to tired!I'm a burn out when I'm out on the road,I've sacrificed it all for this dream of my own,I feel selfish as I play all these shows,While your all alone and stuck back at home.Our kid's will grow old without their father,I have a dream that I'm still not willing to give up.I'm a masochist of sorts with no feeling in my gut,I just wanna be home for Christmas but it's looking bleak.I buy you all the things I think you should have,But It's such a shame that I can't buy you love.If only the corner store in Germany,Sold love in a gift wrapped box for cheap.I'm stuck counting currencies rather then x and o'sMoney isn't everything, trust me I'm one to know.I'm not yet a star but I'm still known,But these things I would give away to have you tonight.I hate my life when it doesn't involve you,But I love my music so I'm stuck in between.I'm fascinated with the way you simply smile,Hopefully on Christmas I can stay a while. |
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Paige
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:06 pm Post subject: |
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| i like it =) its pretty darn good.read mine?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ag6Q4Y2h8ymJ1DRRvviYXVfsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080814175338AAEAp0T |
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Srikant J
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:02 am Post subject: |
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| Maturity in emotions is growing in you. You are looking every where this illusive love, - the eternal and true love. You want to share with your beloved all that you see beautiful, all the daily activities and daily mundane needs.To take up the thread from our last review : As I said, man is transitional being, at the present juncture in his journey, neither here nor there, but stuck in between . He has neither the knowledge, nor the understanding and much less the strength from every angle to carry out this war with lower end in him . In this singular momentous travel, this journey towards the unknown love and bliss, he feels sick and ever eternally dies on the highways and crossroads of his search for the self, the love, and the Elysian streams of beatitude. His Soul meanwhile delicately moves amid aerial things, through long eternal journey, rests and drinks awhile in the upper strata , until the green earth wants us . And then the harmony and the melody of thy music of Christamas eve shalt fill thy heart and soul , and thy enchnating love shall smile once more upon thee. Hopefully, thou shalt be rewarded with a longer stay , those eternal moments ! |
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