Is this depression or reality thoughts?

Mrs T · Yahoo User

I am 8wks pregnant. I dont know if this is hormones talking or what I am really thinking... I have a 9yr (birthday today) old son to a previous relationship. I feel like my husband doesn't like my son the older he gets. Its his birthday today and he could barely look at him let alone say happy birthday. my son thanked him for the gifts he was opening and all he could say was.. dont thank me your mother got you that, i would of got you nothing. The night before my son had a few issues iwth listening and doing the right thing. he was obviously excited about his birthday being the next day and had his mind elsewhere other than concentrating on washing dishes etc. I made a cake after he went to sleep and my husband reckons i shouldnt be making it for him as he's an ungrateful so and so. Hes 9! kids say silly things and expect a lot these days. He has thanked me a few times for his presents so i feel he's not ungrateful. Last night before going to sleep i had words with my husband again as he wanted sex and i didnt feel like it. we dont have a working shower or bathroom so sex on a regular basis is not good when you want to have a shower afterwards and i would be going to my nextdoor neighbours and friends down the road until the renovations finish on the bath. he had it sunday morning! its not like he goes without more than a day or two. Next. .the thoughts in my head are ... am i going to have the same problems with my husband as i did with my sons father. Am i going to be able to put up with the grumpy moods.. am i going to be able to endure a lifetime of having to race after not only the 2 men in my life now but also a baby?? I have my sons father wanting to come into his life after 9 yrs!!! would you believe and that annoys my husband.. then to have him tell me all the things i should and shouldnt be doing as far as trying to accomodate my sons father so they can have a relationship.. plus deal with a all of it i just want to scream!! when is it my turn. i want to run and leave my son with his father, leave the house to my husband and become a hermit. i dont want to be found. i don't want to be in the life i'm in. but then again i have always wanted the family life with kids. but reality is i have to work. i can't be a stay at home mum. i can't do any of the thingsi want to do in life because of my husband and my kid and now another on the way. How selfish would it be for me to up and go. i dont know if i should continue and play happy families and hope this feeling goes away or should i go and never look back on a life that no one seems to care for what my feelings and thoughts are.