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de facto Atheist Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:43 pm Post subject: I just wrote this poem, what do you think? |
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| Laugh aloudPrance aroundThe gifted are many in this blessed townGames we playWine we drinkA breeze too subtle for any to thinkBlindness has found sightIn turn we show mightAlas, a barrier too bold I embraceBe silent you foolAwaken to snares driven deepApproach me when I sleepWhy have you bitten me you devil?This poem doesn't really flow but it makes sense to me. Perhaps I need to rework it.CG- interesting but incorrect. |
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need help Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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| SUPER SHITTY |
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jazz1308 Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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| i think it needs more riming |
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♥BaByB♥ Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| its ok i guess i didnt really understand what the poem was about..... |
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Marie Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| this is greati love rhyming poems and the topic really had me going :]keep up the good work! |
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nickrou1991 Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| nice rhyme scheme |
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talking jibberish Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| its funny. the last sentence made me laugh |
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one step closer to the ed Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| i like it |
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massacre xl Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| ... |
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Moonchild ☮ Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| i like it. |
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Tess M Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Wow. That is amazing. You should keep writing poems. You are REALLY good. |
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mookie Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| I like itits very sassydo you think mine is ok?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ag4OCFYxsJ.MtjKR5dckLU5p.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20080831192719AAG856v |
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JiRay Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| kinda confusing..work on it.... |
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JC-Herra Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| Very Good, Better Than Mine, Listen To Mine......I Forgot. |
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Heather™ Yahoo User
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Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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| ooooo i like that....and i luv marilyn manson too!!!! |
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