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I just wrote this poem, what do you think?

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	Gift Discussion Home -> Wine

Author Message de facto Atheist Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:43 pm    Post subject: I just wrote this poem, what do you think? Laugh aloudPrance aroundThe gifted are many in this blessed townGames we playWine we drinkA breeze too subtle for any to thinkBlindness has found sightIn turn we show mightAlas, a barrier too bold I embraceBe silent you foolAwaken to snares driven deepApproach me when I sleepWhy have you bitten me you devil?This poem doesn't really flow but it makes sense to me. Perhaps I need to rework it.CG- interesting but incorrect. Back to top need help Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:45 pm    Post subject: SUPER SHITTY Back to top jazz1308 Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:45 pm    Post subject: i think it needs more riming Back to top ♥BaByB♥ Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: its ok i guess i didnt really understand what the poem was about..... Back to top Marie Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: this is greati love rhyming poems and the topic really had me going :]keep up the good work! Back to top nickrou1991 Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: nice rhyme scheme Back to top talking jibberish Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: its funny. the last sentence made me laugh Back to top one step closer to the ed Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: i like it Back to top massacre xl Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: ... Back to top Moonchild ☮ Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: i like it. Back to top Tess M Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: Wow. That is amazing. You should keep writing poems. You are REALLY good. Back to top mookie Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: I like itits very sassydo you think mine is ok?http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ag4OCFYxsJ.MtjKR5dckLU5p.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20080831192719AAG856v Back to top JiRay Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: kinda confusing..work on it.... Back to top JC-Herra Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: Very Good, Better Than Mine, Listen To Mine......I Forgot. Back to top Heather™ Yahoo User Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:46 pm    Post subject: ooooo i like that....and i luv marilyn manson too!!!! Back to top

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