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sweetxgrace
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:20 pm Post subject: Why do couples expect gifts/money? |
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| It boggles me to see so many brides/grooms asking how much money they will receive for their wedding or how to put it in their invitation that they don't want gifts, only money.Money is a gift, so you're still asking for gifts.I couldn't imagine expecting or flat out asking my guests for money. I'm happy enough that they're coming! Of course anything will be greatly appreciated, but to actually expect it?Do you think these couples are forgetting the reason why they're getting married?Last fall we received a wedding invite with a folded up piece of paper asking for money instead of gifts. I thought this was downright rude. I always give a cash gift, but to put it flat out in the invitation? That's like saying, "Don't come to my wedding unless you have money in your hands! |
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jennifercf2
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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| to keep it going. |
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horseshoe hannah
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with you it was in poor taste! |
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drunken_monkey1988
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:26 pm Post subject: |
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| It is rude to specify that you want a gift from the person. What if the person doesn't have the money to give or enough money to buy the gift? But each to their own...when I get married...I will just be happy that I have everyone around me sharing this special time with me. |
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Jamie B
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I think the reason why some people, albeit rude, ask for money is because they already have a fully furnished house and don't really need another toaster. When I got married my husband and I didn't ask for gifts. We still received them but I thought it was tacky to down right ask. We actually received more money than actual gifts which was great because I got pregnant on our honeymoon, ah well, that's another story. So yes, I think it's tacky to ask. Next time I would buy them a gift card to a place they hate. lol! |
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terpsichore622
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:28 pm Post subject: |
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| You're completely right to be annoyed. It IS very rude (and tacky) to ask for any kind of gift on a wedding invitation. I would respond by showing up to the wedding without a gift. |
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seweccentric
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| It is extremely poor taste to ask for money, under any circumstances. Many even considerate it poor form to include "gift registry" notices in the invitations. Personally, I did not. If someone wanted to buy us a gift, or know where we were registered, they could ask us, our close friends or parents. But, what the hell. Why not throw in a $2 bill. |
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MelB
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I couldn't agree with you more. First off, unless the person was raised in a barn, they should know that you may not mention ANY gifts in a wedding invitation of all things (even if it's to say "No Gifts.") Secondly, a host may not dictate to the guests that they only want a certain type of gift. A gift should be accepted gratefully and graciously by the bride and groom, even if it's not necessarily what they wanted. Too bad. What irks me most of all is those ridiculous poems that are supposed to take the sting away from demanding cash from the guests. People aren't stupid. Do they actually think guests will be fooled by a poem? Coem on! Yes it is flat out rude and in poor taste. I'd wager that at least 90% of people give cash as a weddign gift anyway, I don't understand the need to make sure the other 10% give cash too by putting it into an invitation. When I receive invitations with gift requests in them, I admit, I am definitly less generous when it comes time to write the check. |
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past_princess
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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| it isn' required that you give any kind of gift. So if you feel they are being rude, then don't reward it.it is completely tactless to include any kind of gift want in the invitation, including registry information. Such things need to be passed around by word of mouth. |
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Blunt
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with you. It's selfish and rude for a couple to ask for cash because they are getting married. I don't know where this people think this is acceptable. It's in the poorest taste, not to mention the couple show their lack of manners by being against the most basic etiquette.A wedding is not a fundraiser. Guests should have the priviledge of choosing what to give and not to be commanded -in the invitation none the less!- that cash is the only an acceptable gift.Good luck |
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danashelchan
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Exactly right you are. When I got married I didn't give a hoot if anyone gave me anything or not. I just wanted to have people to my wedding in my in-laws house and put on a dinner and get married and have a nice day. We ate stuffed shells, and deli tray, and anyone who didn't like it could trash me behind my back. As far as I know, no one did.And as for registries, the way that started out was, the bride registered at a store for a certain china and silver pattern, so a guest could buy her a place setting, and it would be all in the same pattern. Today, stores have expanded it in the name of making money, into anything and everything their store sells. I don't buy off registries, and I am labeled as rude and selfish because I don't. I want to shop where I choose, not where the bride decides I will shop. |
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kateqd30
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Here, here! I especially love when people ask advice about whether or not its rude to do this and all but one say that it is and they take that one persons OK as their "best answer" and do it. That pisses me off to no end. If you are going to do it anyway, why ask? |
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Lydia
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:08 pm Post subject: |
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| I totally agree with you, and try to answer those questions brides ask about this in a similar and polite way.It's something to do with pure selfishness and thoughtLESSness on the part of these brides. Don't really know where this sense of entitlement really comes from. |
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joanna2982
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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| to answer your first question - the wedding costs the couple and/or their parents a TON of money. the wedding industry is worth billions and it's hard not to spend a pretty penny on the big day. as far as gifts are concerned, i've heard a number of times that people expect gifts for the bridal/couples shower and money at the wedding. these people are starting a life together, and it's better for them to have an accumulation of cash to spend on a house - or, again, wedding bills! - instead of having tons and tons of *stuff*. BUT, i totally agree with you that it is incredibly rude to ask for money and not gifts. the point is for everyone to share in their special day and to specifically ask for cash is a huge faux pas!! |
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Lucky
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with you. That is in very poor taste. People are like that in the world. They don't think before they act. |
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