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my son is turning six . family lives 2k miles away never send him gifts. ok to ask to contribute to swing set


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anna
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:14 pm Post subject: my son is turning six . family lives 2k miles away never send him gifts. ok to ask to contribute to swing set

When my families kids were growing up I always gave gifts and had parties. My son has never received even a card. I want to get him a gym/swing set cheapest about $400. Is it ok to send my two brothers a note letting them know about it and asking them if they are so inclined, to contribute to it? They are quite well to do and we are on a tight budget? Would this be considered begging for money? It feels awkward to do...but my poor boy deserves to know he has more family then just 2 people.. mom and dad. HELP!!!! BIRTHDAY IS IN THREE WEEKS... SO PLEASE RESPOND ASAP!!!Signed..Family outcast

roadh66ouse
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:20 pm Post subject:

That would be tacky of you. If you are the "family outcast" it's probably for trying to pull crap like that.If they live 2000 miles away, that's probably why they don't feel close to you.

Carlito
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:20 pm Post subject:

If you are willing to risk them saying no or creating an awkwardness go ahead. I dont know how close you are to them. You might outright ask them why he is ignored when you have given their kids so much.

NEWPORT BEACH GIRL
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:21 pm Post subject:

no. i would not ask them to contribute. that is my opinion. i too have family who does not give a hoot about my 1 yr old son. i mean only my twin sister cares and sends stuff to him, but my dad and mom have nadda to do with him. just leave it at that. there are some people in this world who are self centerd and you can not change them. just make a nice party for your lil boy and include his friends and people who care.

Stefka
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:23 pm Post subject:

I have family like this, as well. I don't know if it's proper to ask or not but I think you know best how it would be received. Are you trying to guilt then into remembering your son? Why not send out birthday party invitations to them, even though they do live 2000 miles away. That is a friendly reminder and who knows, if they are well to do, maybe they'll hop a flight and come on out? Good luck. Sucks to have family like that but that is life. I used to think only my family sucked like that but have learned that this isn't so.

Laura
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:25 pm Post subject:

TACKY!!!!!!!!!!! stop sending the others presents....if you ask its like your making your family seem desperate for "donations" or money

Pam W
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:25 pm Post subject:

I think in any situation it is rude to ask for money. Our family would let our childrens birthday go unnoticed & we told them how it hurt our feelings & our childrens when they can't even call or send a card. They now get checks.

nursecracker
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:31 pm Post subject:

if you want to get your child a swingset for his birthday, you could call your brothers and ask them if they wouldn't mind helping you out.... they probably know your financial situation, so they might be willing to help.meanwhile, if your relatives don't recognize birthdays and other events, you can't change them. having expectations of others is a set up for a big let down....when we make our children's holidays special, they remember. it's what YOU do that counts.....take care.

buzyb
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:31 pm Post subject:

no, that is not begging, that is asking your family to help out with a gift that i am sure your son will love. send a note that might say : my son's birthday (use his name) is comming up and i know that its impossible for us to all get together, however, i am hoping to get him a swing set for his birthday, could you please help contribute to this gift. if you want, enclose a picture of it or a web address for them to check it out.do not feel bad about asking, i would. good luck and i hope they help you.

rachel*
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:40 pm Post subject:

I don't see anything wrong with that. You should however find a way to do it politely. I had a cousin and for her daughters 1st birthday the invitation was to a party but she asked for no gifts instead to put money towards a college fund. I thought it was great! She put it in a poem. Maybe you could find something like that and invite them overfor a party. I noticed you mentioned they were your brothers....sometimes guys don't get the whole gift giving thing. Good luck

kyltd
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 2:40 pm Post subject:

if they have never sent him anything yet why would you even consider asking them for something now, if they wanted to give him a gift they would have, don't lower yourself by even asking, i'm sure you will come up with something, make him a tire swing in a tree, find a place where you can pay it out or save up for it until Christmas and get him something else, if they were my family i would forget them, they seem to have forgotten you and yours

Sophie
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 3:00 pm Post subject:

In my opinion, you shouldn't ask. I believe it's tacky and will lower their opinion of you even more. But with that said .... do you talk to them at all? It wouldn't hurt to call and just to talk trying to reconnect. Let them ask about your son and then say "yeah, he'll be # in a couple of weeks. He wants a swing set for this birthday but I'm still trying to figure out how to manage the cost." If they offer...they offer. If they don't ... don't ask. Try to find a freecycle organization in your area... who says your son has to have new? We have a wonderful swing set in our backyard that I got for free many years ago when money was painfully tight. And it's something that even now I wouldn't pay full price for.

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