out of state wedding do you give a gift?
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morekidsforme33
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:33 am Post subject: out of state wedding do you give a gift? |
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| My step sister is getting married in a few months. I have to travel from CT to Chicago for her wedding and it's costing me about $800 for airline, hotel, and other travel expenses. Chicago tax is very high. Do I need to also give her a wedding gift if the cost of me just going to this wedding is so high? We are not very close, never have been. Only see eachother once or twice a year for a few hours other than that we don't talk. Oh and by the way, my kids can't go....it's a no kids wedding. But my other step sisters two kids are going...they're in the wedding. My husband is also not going, too expensive. So the above cost I mentioned is the cost for just me. Crazy..huh! |
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CRB
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:36 am Post subject: |
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| I would consider buying a gift, and sending it as opposed to you traveling. However, if you really want to go-then no, I don't think you need to buy her a gift. Your appearance is the gift! |
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seanmd13now
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:37 am Post subject: |
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| Of course they need a new bleender.!haha just playing it respectful to buy a present for other people weddings.p.s. no |
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AES1203
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:39 am Post subject: |
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| Even though you are paying so much to attend the wedding, unfortunately it is still proper etiquette to give the bride and groom a gift.....even if it is something small. Remember, it is the thought that counts!! |
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luckiestarrr
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:40 am Post subject: |
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| Well I'm sure nobody will agree with me but if I were in your situation first I would rethink going if your not that close and I would just send a gift and second I wouldn't go because my children were not invited its a wedding ??family and friends not a bar children should not be left out of family get togethers of any kind in my opinion.For half of your airfare you could send a nice gift.just my thoughts~ |
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Terri
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:41 am Post subject: |
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| You do not HAVE to give gifts... ever.If you want to, go to their registry and get a small(cheap) gift for them.Or send them a gift later.IMO I wouldn't go, since you are not close. Get a gift if you wish, or a card. |
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Mia1385
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:42 am Post subject: |
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| Wow...that's a lot of cash to dish out for one person to attend. I would rethink attending the wedding since you are not that close. Wedding gifts are optional, but if you feel obligated to give one, here are a few ideas for spending very little money. Instead of spending money on a gift, tap into your creativity. Make a scrapbook for their wedding. Decorate the pages and leave space for their wedding pictures. You could probably do this for very little money by using coupons from craft stores and keeping the design pretty, but simple.You could also always just get them a picture frame (craft stores also have these for very little). Check out the sale sections of stores...quite often you can find nice things that people will never know you got at a discount price.If she has a registry, pick something small and inexpensive. There should be some items in all price ranges.I would avoid spending more than $30-$40 considering how much you spent already. Good luck! |
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ani
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:42 am Post subject: |
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| You don't neccesarily want to go, do you? If not, go to http://www.Target.com and send something from the gift registery. IF you are going and feel like you HAVE to go, then just give her a gift of $25 or 30. Its not the gift you should worry about. She would be honored by your presence. |
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LA
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:43 am Post subject: |
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| Hate to say it, but yes you are supposed to, etiquette wise, get a gift.It can be whatever you can afford... just remember if you bring a physical gift on the plane not to wrap it.... TSA will unwrap it for you.Although, you really don't need to attend at all if you can't afford it. Just reply "with regrets" and mail a gift. If anyone gets upset tell them you can't afford to put a $1000 down for a wedding. (Since that's what it will end up being after you pay all the food, taxi, etc.... small things, and a gift.) |
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retropink
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:43 am Post subject: |
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| Traditionally, you send a gift when invited to a wedding. The gift should be within your means and should reflect your relationship with the bride and groom. If you feel you can not afford an expensive gift, don't send one. It would be nice if you gave them something, even a gift card. At the very least, be sure to give them a nice card congratulating them on their marriage. |
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applexdapple
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:44 am Post subject: |
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| yes you should still give a gift. it doesn't have to be anything outlandish, something small and thoughtful. |
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megan v
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:45 am Post subject: |
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| I would bring something small, maybe a $30 picknick basket, I recently saw one at Sam's Club or maybe even a photo album that you can pick up for cheap anywhere. I wouldn't worry about it too much, just enjoy yourself and hey, think of it this way, you get a private vacation from your husband and the kids! Lucky girl! |
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Queen of Inkland
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:45 am Post subject: |
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| I would have to agree with the other posters, if you are not that close, and it is costing your a bundle and puts a strain on your family finances, PLUS your family cannot afford to go, and the kids were not invited, then buy a nice gift or a gift certificate, or give a wedding check and send it along with a nice card and regrets that you will not be able to attend. |
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LB
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:46 am Post subject: |
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| IF you're sure you want to go and spend that kind of money, then I think a very nice heartfelt card is all you need to give. It might not be all she expects but some people are just greedy that way. Basically, when it comes to weddings, you give what you can afford. If what you can afford is the trip there, then so be it. I specifically told my out of town travelers when they asked what I wanted/needed that them coming was all the gift I needed from them because I knew it was going to be expensive and some gave me gifts and some didn't and I was just fine with that. |
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KelLzZz
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 8:49 am Post subject: |
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| Yes a Gift is in order |
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