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sugarpolice
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 5:59 pm Post subject: Wedding gift...good friend getting married. What to do? |
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| this will undoubtedly sound far cheaper than i am when it comes to gift giving, but i feel it has come time i put a stop on my style of gifts in light of her actions. My friend (a best) booked her holidays and didn't attend when i got married. Otherwise she would have been my only bridesmaid. she came back and for my wedding gift got me a box of macadamia nut chocolates and a head tickler. i just received her wedding invitation, and i am now frustrated with what to plan for the gift. the effort seems to have fallen from our friendship, and in my financial situation, i honestly cannot afford anything too nice anyways, or it will hurt me financially. what to do? how to feel? |
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klmcconne79
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:03 pm Post subject: |
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| give something that you can afford. or buy her something inexpensive off her registry. |
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EB
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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| You shouldn't give anything that will make you resent her. If I were in your situation, I would choose a lower-end item on her registry. Only spend what you can afford. Clearly that is what she did for you. |
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drainmelala
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Gift Card is a nice gift no matter how much people like these and you don't have to go broke. |
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TAMPABAYLADY
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:05 pm Post subject: |
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| If she can give you a nice gift for your wedding,then why would you give her a better gift. Give her the same gift she gave you. She get the message quick. |
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Scrapper
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Buy what you would have normally bought without taking into consideration what she gave you (kind of the two wrongs don't make a right theory). If the effort has fallen out of the friendship on both sides, then purchase something from the registry and don't put too much thought into this. |
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szberi
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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| You must not give less than 100, it is only fair. I love my friends, but when I got married, it was almost an insult to open a card with something like $50 after putting a ton of planning and money into throwing a wedding. If it's for 2, $200 is perfect and if you want to go cheaper, $150 is the least you could do. |
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firebetty74
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with those who say to buy something on the low-end scale of the registry. It sounds as if you aren't as close as you think. Unless she is VERY non-traditional, and didn't see her gift of macadamia nuts and a head tickler as odd, for a wedding gift. It's difficult not to gauge our gifts to others on the gifts they have given in the past...but in some respects, you wouldn't want to be in the same category with someone who completely disregards your wants when giving a gift...otherwise, why bother with giving a gift at all if you're only going to do it out of spite? I say, you should get her something she needs...hopefully the next time she gives you a gift, she'll remember how thoughtful you were and reciprocate the thoughtfulness. |
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Seriously
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Gifts should be given with love and from the heart. If you cannot do that then perhaps a card with a nice handwritten note of well wishes is the perfect gift.If the friendship has run its course, as many friendships do, then there is nothing wrong with moving on. |
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Michael N
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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| It's just so easy to say... do you still have the macadamia nuts? But that's not really being a friend is it? I say put the past in the past and just do what your heart and pocketbook tell you to do. Buy something nice that you can afford. Weddings are all about the people getting married, and doing what you can to assist in their happiness without putting yourself in hardship is the answer. Good luck and whatever happens, I hope they enjoy it and you are happy you gave it to them |
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anagreeneyez
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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| Sugar,Similar situation... when I got married a close cousin gave me a canalobora (sp) made of plastic. It broke when it fell over onto the table. One of two non-monetary gifts I rec'd. When she got married 1 1/2 yrs later, I recycled one of many china bowls I rec'd at my bridal shower, allowing me not to spend any $$ at all and still give her a decent gift and while still being the bigger person, I believe in, 'an eye for an eye..'... for whaterver the reason she was not at your wedding, do not feel compelled to give more than what you rec'd. She did not care, why should you? Call me selfish, but the point worked wonders. |
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