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smh
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:39 am Post subject: Shower and wedding gift etiquette among co-workers?? |
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| I worked with a group of gals for about 3 years and we all were pretty close. If there was a birthday, new baby, bachelorette party or if their kids were selling something for a fundraiser I always contributed generously when I could afford to. Now these people are no longer my co-workers as I had to take a better paying, better benefits job and we have not worked together now for about 2 months. They've all been invited to my shower and wedding and it seems there is no effort to show up, give a gift or even a card. It's not about the gifts, lets get that straight right now, but I am hurt after seeing all that has been done for others vs. what they've done or not done for me. Should I be feeling this way or even say anything? Please, no smart ass comments, that's really irritating and disrespectful. |
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one of the tallents now
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:47 am Post subject: |
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| It's possible that these women have fallen on hard times, and can't afford to give you a gift. That being said, I personally think it's rude for them not to make any effort to at least support you and show up to your wedding shower, and your wedding. I would definetly feel that way if I was you, but the thing to learn from this is these women are no longer your coworkers, and obviously not true friends. Dont' fight fire with fire, but also don't finacially support their functions. If you get invited to showers, birthday parties, whatever I would go, bring a card, and write it off that you are just a better friend. I personally wouldn't support fundraisers or anything of that sort anymore. Hopefully they will feel guilty when you don't neglect your friendship responsibilties, by showing that you care. |
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LittleBarb
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: |
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| In all my 35 YEARS of working in different offices through my building (I worked for the government and offices changed regularly)....the one thing I DID learn was "OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND".... people you work with are acquaintances and NOT FRIENDS... maybe you might get one or two REAL FRIENDS from your co-workers, but mostly they remain just acquaintances....once you leave that office or die they tend to forget who you are......grief time in an office for a dead former co-worker usually ranged from 20 minutes to an HOUR at MOST ---and then everyone goes to the WAKE but no one shows for the funeral.... that's just the way it is... and probably always WILL be.... don't take offense at it and don't be angry at the FORMER co-workers....it's unfortunately HUMAN NATURE to act like that. |
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deerogre
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:50 am Post subject: |
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| It seems as though they should at least try to make some sort of an effort for YOUR big day. You said you have only not worked with them for a couple months....it would be understandable if you hadn't seen or talked to them in years. If there are any from your old job that you were especially close with, I would say sure go ahead and call....ask what is going on that everyone is too busy to come to your event. Maybe they have a legitimate reason. I can understand your hurt and frustration, but instead of feeling this way try to focus your energy on the happy days that are coming up. |
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Mistress Kat
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:51 am Post subject: |
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| Don't mistake co workers for long time, true friends. Many times in a working relationship, people will go out of their way to be cordial and even sociable with one another. But when the working relationship ends, often that is the end of any social activity also. How much time did you really spend outside of work socializing and being friends? It is possible that these people are simply moving on and did not consider you more than a co worker. It is possible there is some resentment for you leaving the company. Perhaps it is simply a financial issue right now.Regardless, if these people are not there to support you in any way, with a call, small gift or card, you are likely better off without them. Forge new friendships instead and establish relationships with your new co workers. It's better to have a few true friends than a mass of fair weather friends. Good luck to you. |
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Karen B
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe they are jealous of your better paying job and think you don't "need" the gifts. Move on. They are tacky and not your friends. |
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berry
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:15 am Post subject: |
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| I would feel hurt too. I suggest you keep quiet and distance yourself from them. |
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