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What is an appropriate wedding gift from the parents?


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Jason
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:19 pm Post subject: What is an appropriate wedding gift from the parents?

I'm 34 and it is my first marriage.. My wife to be is 38 and it is her 2nd... Our parents are all middle class people, not rich or poor for that matter, but nobody has offered to help pay for anything at all-- except for my dad who offered to pay for the bar bill at the reception until he heard it could cost over a thousand and then he renigged on it.We don't have money ourselves, so we're just going to get married in a park later today and then go out to eat at an average restaurant. The only thing my parents have offered is to pay for our dinner after the wedding (not everyones, only ours) even though theres only going to be like 8 people there.My mom told my fiancee that she doesn't want to give us money because she thinks it will just go towards credit card bills, so she wants to buy us some item instead (I think she is thinking on the lines of pots and pans or something).Should I be insulted by the cheapness or what would you folks do?Also it's not like I'm going to inherit anything... My parents say they love me and aren't mad at me for anything, but they have written a will that leaves everything into a trust fund for one of their grandchildren and my sister and I are left out... I asked about it a few years ago and my mom told me I was wrong to think that they owe me anything...

Poppet
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:27 pm Post subject:

I got lawn chairs and $50 bucks from my parents. His parents didn't give us anything. I wasn't insulted. Just acknowledge that this is your family and what they are like.

Amber P
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:28 pm Post subject:

Really you should not expect anything. Wedding gifts are always optional. Not everyone will give them. So no matter what they give you, be grateful and just says thank you.I know that's probably not what you want to hear, but if you look at anything that talks about wedding gifts it never says its required. You can check too www.theknot.com

Christina V
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:29 pm Post subject:

usually one of the parents pays for the wedding and the other pays for the honeymoonmy mom paid for the entire wedding and bought us a washing machine and she makes THE LEAST out of everyone. my dad got us presents from a friend whose son was going to get married then didn't....so we got things off his registry. my husbands parents gave us 1k.i think that maybe since you are a little older in life, they do not feel as if they have to help you out as much. but still, they should give you something. i think they are being a little crummy

ajami71@yahoo.com
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:29 pm Post subject:

jus give them a list of things u need in house our tell 2 get u gift cards at these locations

Kimmy
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject:

I had the same situation for my wedding. not one person helped us and we had a small wedding, no reception, and the intermediate family went out to dinner afterwards and nobody offered to even pay for our meal except my dad who is on SSI and can't work. It broke my heart they way everyone was. Plus they wanted us to change our whole wedding plans to accomodate their wants. The whole thing was rediculous. The only thing we got from his family was a toaster oven which was $20! but we didn't do anything except keep the peace and didn't say a word. Just ask for a gift card for a grocery store. It'll be something you need for groceries or toilet paper or something.

molly
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject:

Posting this question in various places so you can have people support your greediness?

Ms. X
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:40 pm Post subject:

Don't waste your time feeling insulted. As a previous poster pointed out, gifts are optional. Just feel thankful for whatever you get.

EGYPT
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:54 pm Post subject:

Who said anything about owing anyone anything i guess they owe it to your sister right because they are leaving some of it to her. Pots and pans you have enough of that already i am sure of it. I always advise people to ask for monetary gifts in their wedding invitation. It don't sound to me like cheap is their problem they have some type of issue with you but my saying is god bless the child the work and get his own

geistswoman
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:55 pm Post subject:

Your mom is correct. She doesn't owe you anything. I'd be hurt that they didn't offer something substantial but there really isn't much you can do about it. Have a picnic wedding. It's really cheap. Maybe your mom is trying to teach you some kind of lesson. What it could be, I have no idea.

barthebear
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:57 pm Post subject:

I am glad you found someone you want to marry. We cannot expect from others, but just take care of ourselves I think. I would think just enjoy the day . FYI, the grooms parents really do not pay for anything except rehearsal dinner and since you arent having one that lets your parents off. But since you are older I think things are different. Be happy that you arent living with them as I read some people on this site are. Some people truly go overboard and spend too much on weddings and dont concentrate on the marriage. Congratulations

giggles
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:16 pm Post subject:

Accept the fact that they are your parents and never expect anymore from them. My parents spent way more on my brothers wedding and lots of other things for him. Anyway, I've come to realize that this is the way they are and I can't change that, all I can do is accept it for what it is and not dwell on what can't or won't change. Life is too short to be bitter!

mimegamy
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:23 pm Post subject:

We gave each of our girls a buffet to hold all the new dishes but we also paid for the weddings. We refused to give money for the samereasons your mom gave you. I wanted them to have something not pay bills with it.

Karl S
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 4:58 am Post subject:

Hi,You can give a painting, unique and very original. It is a neat gift.http://www.paintyourlife.com/ will paint anything you can think of. Supply them with a picture of what you want and then wait for your painting.Read testimonials on site. Deliver time depends on the size and type of painting you choose.Karl

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