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The baby arrived. Am I obligated to do something for the parents?


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celbopwearsglasses
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:00 pm Post subject: The baby arrived. Am I obligated to do something for the parents?

My friend's grandchild arrived. She called to tell me about it.My first instinct was to want to take flowers and gifts. I then remembered that these people never come to any of the events I invite them to or never acknowlaged my children's births, even though they were invited to showers and blah blah blah. Should I do what I think is right and take flowers?Or should I just say.. whatever and leave it at that?

Shari
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject:

Do what your heart tells you to do.

Violet
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject:

I think people should give gifts because they want to - not because they feel obligated to.If you genuinely want to give flowers then by all means, do so.If you feel funny about it, get her a nice card.

pinklayni
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject:

Send a card. It is an acknowledgment so socially correct, but not too much!

teresathegreat
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:09 pm Post subject:

You are not required to send them anything, but etiquette is about doing what is KIND, not what is DESERVED. If you think it's right to acknowledge the birth, then do so. I'd suggest downgrading the flowers to a card. Perhaps send flowers to the grandmother, if you're closer with her than the parents.

♥Jules♥
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:10 pm Post subject:

If you have the money then go ahead, that's a very kind gesture. Don't go out of your way if you don't have a lot of money though, just because of the way they are with you. That's really nice that you're still thinking of them even when they didn't think of you. You must be a real nice person. Good luck!

Vicky
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:10 pm Post subject:

hmm maybe just send a card of congrats

naniannie
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:12 pm Post subject:

The only correct reason to give a gift in this situation would be to do so because you sincerely want to. If not, I would send a card and leave it at that.

kitty
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:14 pm Post subject:

FOLLOW YOUR HEART JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE LIKE THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE BUT THERE IS A FINE LINE AND YOU HAVE TO FIND THAT LINE DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD MAYBE YOU CAN TEACH THEM THE RIGHT WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ikaihc
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:16 pm Post subject:

You're not obligated . . . but if you feel it in your heart to give a gift/acknowlegement - then do so. Flowers are not necessary . . . for newbie parents, fresh flowers are the last thing they need (I had a pile of flowers that just sat their for days and wilted - I just did not need another "live" thing to tend to!). A card or small gift for the baby would be just fine.

Jenny W
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:19 pm Post subject:

I would get something small. I know the parents never come to the things you invite them to but just remember...the gift is for the child and that baby is innocent. Like I said, just something small, no flowers. A baby blanket comes to mind.

What...............
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:25 pm Post subject:

No. you are not obligated, but you could send her a card with your congratulations to the new arrival.

matowakan58
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject:

I think a congratulations card would be appropriate.I would not expect a gift or flowers from someone who was not from my family or circle of close freinds.It would feel a bit strange I think.If you are close to the Grandma you might send her a card also.peace><>

berry
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 7:44 pm Post subject:

Friendship is a two way street. Anytime it is unbalanced, it won't remain stable. In this case I would congratulate her when she had called to tell you. If you didn't, then email her or send her an inexpensive card (from the dollar shop) thanking her for informing you and congratulating her and her family. No flowers or gifts need be sent.

brevejunkie
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 8:46 pm Post subject:

depends. Are they at the hospital? If so, do NOT NOT NOT take flowers...their main concern is taking their baby home--anything else they have to take (flowers, cards, gifts, etc. are just extra things they have to lug along with them. If they're at home already, a gift would be nice (even though they didn't do anything for you) but not necessary. If you want to send a card, that's fine. If you want to send a gift, a gift card (Babies "r Us) would be fine...diapers and formula never hurt anyone!)

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