Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody's here, I want to thank you all for coming to the wedding?

Graydon902 · Yahoo User

I'd appreciate your going even more, I mean you must have lots of better things to do, and not a word of this to Paul, remember Paul, you know, the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is...Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers,Thank you all, now it's back to the showers,Don't tell Paul, but I'm not getting married today.Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for,a wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should...Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married.Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married.You've been grand, but I'm not getting married.Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married.And don't tell Paul, but I'm not getting married today!Go, can't you go? Why is nobody listening?Goodbye, go and cry at another person's wake.If you're quick, for a kick, you could pick up a christening, but please, on my knees, there's a human life at stake!Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to see a crazy dude fall apart in front of you? It isn't only Paul who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to see him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage...I'm not well, so I'm not getting married.You've been swell, but I'm not getting married.Clear the hall, 'cause I'm not getting married.Thank you all, but I'm not getting married.And don't tell Paul, but I'm not getting married today.Go, can't you go?Look, you know I adore you all,But why watch me die like Eliza on the ice? Look, perhaps I'll collapse in the apse right before you all,So take back the cake, burn the shoes and boil the rice!Look, I didn't wanna have to tell you, but I may be coming down with Hepatitis, and I think I'm gonna faint, so if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily, but wouldn't it be funnier to go and watcha funeral, so thank you for the twenty-seven dinner plates, thirty-seven butter knives, forty-seven paperweights, fifty-seven candleholders...