Why do people give cheap wedding gift???
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butterfly!11
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:18 am Post subject: |
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| I think you sound like a very ungrateful person. That is your chose to spend $35000 on a wedding for one freaken day, I think it's ridiculous there is so much more I would rather spend my money on. You sound like if you have that much to spend on a wedding you can afford your own stuff!! Stop being a snot face and wake up not everyone is rich and can afford a $200 gift so be grateful for what you get. |
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Linda L
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:19 am Post subject: |
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| Just because your dream wedding is costing you a fortune does not mean everyone has the $$$ to pay for it. You shouldn't expect more than a gift of your guests choosing. So weather it's bathroom towels or $5000. smile & write a thank you note. Remember, just because you are fortunate enough to have the means to give extravagant gifts does not mean your guests do. Oh, And by the way you are having a wedding NOT a Fundraiser!!!!Do you even love this guy? Or just want the gifts?JUST THINK 1 YEAR AGO YOU ASKED THIS QUESTION..." I've been going out with the same guy for 5 years. But now I'm bored and want to be single, is that common? " |
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David M
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:21 am Post subject: |
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| Well, I'll join the people who think you're selfish--and apparently also spoiled. YOU choose a $35,000 wedding--what a waste of money. I've been married more than 30 years, and we invited friends because we liked them and we wanted them to share this special occasion with us. You're judging people on the price of the gift they give you?!!! You should have asked to see their tax returns before you sent the invitation. You have a guest spending his/her money to fly from France and you're worried he/she won't spend enough on the wedding gift. How shallow of you. I pity your future husband. Show your question and the answers you received to him. |
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tnk3181979
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| People spend what they can afford. I'm going to wedding tommorow and I spent $30 on the gift because finances are tight right now. Is my cousin going to be mad because I didn't spend $900 on her gift? No! Honestly, knowing my situation, she's more likely to be upset I bought her anything! And I HATE when people think a wedding guest should "cover their plate" at a wedding with the cost of their gift! What a ridiculous idea! The couple invites people to the wedding, the guest has no say in what the couple spends on their wedding! Gifts at a wedding are OPTIONAL! Wedding are not about starting the bride and groom off. I think you're confusing the wedding with the bridal shower. Bridal showers were a tradition started to "shower" the bride with everything she needed to set up a home. Of course this was when girls lived at home until they got married and didn't have anything to start with. We got presents ranging from $10 to $200 and we appreciated every single one of them. And, incidently, how good and thoughtful a gift is has nothing to do with the price tag. Anyone can spend money it doesn't mean you actually give a crap or put any thought into something. I feel sorry for you. |
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Becky W
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:23 am Post subject: |
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| I think in some circles they give the amount of the dinner to the couple in a cash gift. So they pay them back for their and their families meal. Along with buying a gift. I have a LARGE family and alot of cousins!!! We always have gone in with my parents to get a gift, $50a piece or $100 per couple. We go and get a gift certifcate for something larger like furniture, or BBQ or soemthing like that.I think Wedding gifts are something to splurg on expecially when it's family. $900 is a little extreme for me, but I would prob. give my sister $200-$300 from the 2 of us, for her wedding along with free consulting. |
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Lydia
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:26 am Post subject: |
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| The purpose of having a wedding reception is for the couple to HOST the guests to celebrate with them their being joined in marriage. Hosting means you pay for everything, and expect NOTHING in return - that's being gracious hosts. One should never consider how much you are paying for a wedding, and expect the guests to help pay it off, as you put it. That's just crazy. If you couldn't afford to pay a certain amount for the wedding, then the two of you should have scaled down either on the style of the wedding, or the guest list. Our wedding cost about 25K for 200 guests - and any gifts which we received from them were icing on the cake! We did not have a registry, nor ask for anything specifically - but people were generous and many gave gifts from the heart - whether it was a salad bowl or a quilt, a plant urn or a teaset - every single thing was appreciated, and we were totally thankful that they thought of us - to help us out as we began married life together.I'm in Canada, too, so I'm fully aware of the costs associated with weddings here. The problem is with your lack of maturity in your thinking.... any gifts which you receive should be accepted with grace and gratefulness. Even if it should be salt and pepper shakers!Good luck to you!(Perhaps you could enclose a copy of your question here and our answers with your invitations - then see how many show up to celebrate with you!) (Gee, but at least, you'll be HONEST!) |
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lindseysays...
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:26 am Post subject: |
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| 1. You say you've always given a lot and expect the same. Well there is your problem! You are "giving" for all the wrong reasons. You don't give someone a gift with the expectation of getting something in return of equal value. 2. These are your GUESTS. You invite them to your wedding because you want them to be there to witness your entry into married life, NOT so they can cover the cost of your wedding or give you fabulous gifts. Gifts are not to be expected. While it's typical to receive gifts it's not necessary by any means. Someone need to read some books on etiquette.3. You have some common sense issues if you posted this expecting to get sympathy. Anyone with sense would read this and automatically assume you are selfish and apparently unaware to the fact the world doesn't revolve around you just because it's your wedding.4. Hate to break it to you, but not everyone can afford to give you a gift over $230. Even if they don't have to travel far if most people gave gifts like that at every wedding they attended they'd be broke. MOST people live on a budget. And budgets don't include extravagant gifts to rich spoiled brides. People give what they can. That's what a gift is. What you are talking about is more of a cover charge at the door.7. $35,000 is NOT average for a wedding.6. Don't post on here if you are not willing to hear what people are saying. Have you noticed most people are saying the exact same thing. Funny, isn't it. Perhaps you should think about this for a bit. So get off your high horse sweetie. If you were expecting to have people's gifts cover the expense of your wedding maybe you shouldnt have had a $35,000 wedding at all. Grow up. |
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lisadaisy165
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:34 am Post subject: |
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| Gifts are not required but it is a nice gesture. Gifts should be based on what the person wants to spend not what they think you spent on them being at your wedding. You chose to pay that amount on per guest and invite that guest. Just enjoy your wedding and stop worrying about it. |
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September77
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:38 am Post subject: |
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| You're a spoiled, greedy, pretentious little brat. I pity your husband-to-be. |
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lalala
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:46 am Post subject: |
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| I'm sorry, but since when was the point of a wedding to "help start off a couple"?You ask people to tell you if you are out of line, then get mad when they write what you don't want to read.Just because you have $35, 000 to spend on a wedding does not mean your guests have to money to cover it. Not that they should have to anyway! |
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its about time
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:46 am Post subject: |
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| First, don't expect the same thing from others...if you can afford to give people $900 as a gift, then you are lucky. Many people get invited to a wedding every single weekend for 5 months in a row...that adds up to massive amounts of money, even if you're giving 50 bucks, let alone doing the kind of math you are in order to figure how much you should give/make. Many times people are invited to weddings that they are socially obligated to attend but aren't super close with the couple, so they feel obligated to get a gift, but why spend so much money on it? Thats why people ask about cheap gifts. Or maybe they are in college or just graduated and don't have a job yet. There are tons of reasons why people don't give you tons of money.The point of giving a couple gifts, yes, is to start them out well in their new life together, but NOT to make up for the cash they decided to throw out on a wedding. YOU chose to have a $35,000 wedding which while you say isn't a big number, is definately more than you could have spent...you can have a huge beautiful wedding on a tighter budget than that. YOU chose to spend that much...but your guests didn't CHOOSE to be invited or to be expected to reimburse you for your extravaganza. You should be happy that you get anything at all and grateful that your friends and family are helping you share your special day. And yes, you are out of line in your thinking. |
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Tricia R
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 8:58 am Post subject: |
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| You have stated yourself what the problem is here. You said that you expected people to know how much your wedding cost ($35,000.) and help pay for it.It is completely your decision to spend $35,000. for your wedding, and you have no right to expect others to help you pay for it. They certainly had no vote in whether you would have a wedding that it sounds as though you can not afford. Your expectation that your firends and relatives will contribute to your day of feeling like a princess is a feeling of entitlement.I agree with the other posters who said that you are greedy and selfish. The purpose of inviting a guest to your wedding is to have them celebrate this important day with you, not so that they can help pay for it. |
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jan
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:03 am Post subject: |
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| can anyone say bridezilla???? lol no im just kidding i understand what you are saying but just be thankful people come to your wedding and bring a gift...... i had a rough wedding where people i loved didn't even come! and some who came couldn't afford a gift..... but i still loved my wedding.... and i am sure you will too.... while i was planning my wedding i did the same thing as you! lol ..... one year later it doesn't matter! good luck and hope you have a wonderful wedding!!!! oooo just for kicks i only spent 3000 dollars for the entire wedding...... but depending on where you live i live in florida! |
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myavatar
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:19 am Post subject: |
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| Apparently you're not considering the fact that not everyone has the money to give you whatever the hell you want. The point of a wedding is not to "help start off a couple". If you can afford a $35k wedding, you are doing just fine on your own. You are showing absolutely no consideration for your guests, and with that sort of attitude, I'm surprised you have anyone that will actually come to your wedding. |
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angeldust_599
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2007 9:21 am Post subject: |
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| first off...I wouldnt get a bill for $35,000 for my wedding because I'm not a idiot who would spend that kind of money...second...I didnt get married to get a gift...nobody cares about you wedding sweetheart but you and your fiance. do you really think it matters to your friends if your married to this guy or not?...not bloody likely so the wedding should be on you. my friends and family came and had a good time on me and my husband...we paid for it and we expected nothing in return. I didnt even get gifts from some of the people at my wedding and couldnt have cared less. its called being greatful for what you get. nobody asked you to spend over $200 a person and your a fool to think people are going to try and pay you back that money with a wedding gift. I really hope people stiff you on gifts and leave you a hugh bill to pay off...thats what you deserve for asking such a stupid question. people on here arent tryign to be rude,,,they are trying to knock some sense into a stupid, greedy, immature little girl who shouldnt be getting married in the first place. |
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