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Renee l
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:10 pm Post subject: what do i do stay or go? |
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| My Fiance and i have been together almost 3yrs we have a 16 month old AND we never ever have sex . he says it is because he does not go to the gym anymore and does not feel attractive ...but he feels good enough to masterbate. the other day at the mall there was this girl in a little skirt ouside one of the doors i told him to watch our baby and i was going to pick up his gift i look up and he is with my daughter walking back over to the door to look at her what disrespect...he does not tell me i am beautiful yet he takes our child with him to get a double take. i cant take it i am young dont have the body i once did but i am a size 4-8 depending on the clothes i feel like i have to be a zero or something i am starting to have real issues i have talked about it and he changes the subject or puts me down he trashs all my dreams and ambitions he is ten years older then i and makes me feel worthless. The only reason i love him is because he is the best father ever do i stay with a amazido i stay because he is an amazing father and waste my youth...but my life is about my daughter not me anymore i hate this please help i just dont know what to do anymore |
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DBOY
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| he's an amazing father but a louzy husband.you should move on and find someone who will appreciate you! |
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Medicgirl
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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| If you stay with someone who treats you bad you will be teaching your daughter it's okay for her to be in a relationship where she is treated badly. Teach her by example. Most kids would rather be from a broken home than IN a broken home. |
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beejay
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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| move on ...it is not the life you want your child to see ......do you want your child to think that being treated like that is ok when its not? do your self and your child a favor and walk away from this idiot that truly does not love you |
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Kray C
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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| IT sounds lik he has no fellings for u. I would leave him, but do what my uncle does, he lets the kid stay at her mom's house for 2 wks and then he keeps her 4 2 wks. It's just an ongoing process, But you also need to consider ur child. Tell her its not her fault and that we just grew apart(or somethin lik that.) |
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Father of 1
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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| He can still be an amazing father and you can still reclaim your youth but accomplishing these things together is slowly fading. Consider moving on and finding the person who gives you the double take when you walk through the mall door. |
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princess_withsecrets
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:19 pm Post subject: |
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| move on....just dont stophim from seeing the baby...to be a perfect husband. he needs to be a good father, you have that right, and a great friend, but lacks in bn the friend....move on, someelse is out there to appreciate you.... |
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emo girl
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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| you mentioned he puts you down whenever you try to talk to him about how you feel. i would tell him, again, that you want to talk to him. do it at a time when the baby is sleeping and neither of you are involved in something, dishes, laundry, that type of thing. if there are certain, specific things you want to address, try jotting down a quick list so you can make sure you don't get sidetracked, as can often happen during a discussion, and let him know that when he does _____ it makes you feel ____. staying with someone because they are a good parent isn't always the best. not only will your child feel the tension when you two are around each other, but you will both come to resent the other person if the only thing holding you together is your child. i'm not saying leave now and don't look back. obviously you've been together for a while and you have a lot invested, but, if the relationship isn't working anymore, it's time to take a look at what some of the underlying issues are. if they can be worked on, awesome. if not, it may be time to talk about moving on. |
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Payal
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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| You can find someone better..leave him.You and your child will be in better shape whenyou are happy.how long you are gonna sacrifice..?? think about it..you have only one life..Move on.. |
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treatau
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:21 pm Post subject: |
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| sounds like he may have found someone else a guy who doesnt want top have sex?? thats rare, i would start searching else where for answers closer to home |
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Tiny Jr.
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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| maybe in your additional details you can explain how you have a 16 month old baby and you never ever had sex for starters?Then a man that chooses to bring sexual joy to himself over joy with a lady has problems. Maybe pornography? You kid will grow up and leave you and you will be stuck with a man that obviously doesn't care very much about you. Don't continue to waste your life.Go, while the going is good. |
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MRS.SAENZ
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:24 pm Post subject: |
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| hell no you leave and find happiness for yourself!!it still is about you. yes the baby too but you can not be a good mother if you are not happy mentally or physically.if you are that much younger definetly leave.... he can still be an amazing father on the weekends!that whole mall thing was disrespectful and i personally would not tolerate that. if you never have sex it is for a reason and you lnow what, that is his loss not yours.....if you are not strong enough to leave then maybe just try pretending that you are leaving to scare him and maybe he then will change.... i mean maybe he is not changing because he know you wont leave him....look not to be so blunt but your husband disrespects you because you let him by tolerating what he does and tolerating him changing the subject all the time.you are the mother of his child and you deserve better.... you need to put yur foot down and let him know enough is enough and hopefully he changes..... why waste 10 more years being miserable and being disrespected???when you can save yourself time and start over fresh and become someone and be happy.... start a future for you and your baby/leave for your babys sake..... im sure she doesnt want to get older and see a father and mother that just dont get along and are unhappy. you both can move on and start again and be happy so that you can be ther for your baby and be able to be happy together..... dont stay because of the baby.i hate when people say that they stay for their kids, because thats b.s it just ruis the kids later as they get older.do it for your baby and leave if you are not happy.good luck |
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David G
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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| You should realize now, that if this is already happening so early in the relationship and he uses the baby as a reason not to be interested in you, Get Out! You are in the middle of a recipe for disaster. There is no reason you can't be a strong single mother. Thats what you are gonna want to teach your baby girl anyway. Turn to family and friends for the support that you need. If you love yourself and your baby you will choose to get the best life has to offer, right now your not getting it. What good is a father that totally disrespects his baby's mother? |
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cfoster001
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Being together for almost 3 years you would think you'd be married by now, but that's not the case here. It doesn't seem like he has committed himself to you because he hasn't asked you to be his wife. I mean wouldn't you think he would ask to marry you to make it right and set that example for your child? If he loves you so much, then he would marry you!If he thinks he is not attractive for you then he may have some self-esteem issues. This has nothing to do with you, it is him. I am wondering what you tell him after he says that he is not attractive for you.I think you need to sit with him and ask him if you two are ever going to get married. Does he even love you enough to make you his wife? It doesn't seem like he is even husband material. Or should I ask, are YOU wife material? Are the both of you husband and wife to be father and mother to your child??? If not, then you two are wasting your time and are just another statistic of 'Shacking-up", which means you two are just room-mates. He may be the best father to your child, but he isn't husband material and I don't think you are ready to be a wife to anyone just yet.I would consider reading, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," but read these before getting married, the both of you....that's if you are still together. |
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!Y?
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 8:54 pm Post subject: |
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| ...divorce the loser, ensure all legal papers are made for support, improve to better yourself for you own sake and yourdaughter's, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally, ohlet's not forget financially. look to the state and city for any programs you can qualify for. |
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