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Jani
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:33 pm Post subject: Grandma buying me things for the wrong reasons? |
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| Without divulging the messy details, i'm a hardworking single mother and I've had some recent health issues. I'm also an orphan. I'm 21 and have a career, a car, my own place and am debt free. But I feel like lately with my health issues my grandma is trying to shove money and gifts my way to console me???My grandma is not wealthy, but lately has been meeting me for lunch and then paying for it against my will (when I sincerely intend on taking HER out) or buying me a bunch of stuff and leaving it at my house when im not there, or slipping cash in my son's pockets. I'm very frustrated. Then she buys me a gift card for Christmas, which I appreciate, but I told her was totally uneccessary and that she should just focus on the kids. Then the other day I get a Christmas card in the mail with $200 cash in it. My grandma is 72 and retired. She does NOT have the money for this. I want to send her the cash back with a note explaining why but I dont want to hurt her feelings. Suggestions? |
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Major Tom
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Allow her this. At her age the pleasures in her life have gotten fewer and Im betting doing this gives her great pleasure. You say youre an orphan and maybe this is her way of letting you know how much you mean to her.Just look at it as its not just for you shes doing it but for herself too. If you see it that way it will make it easier to accept these gifts from her. Count yourself blessed that someone cares this much for you that they want to make sacrifices. Shes choosing this out of her deep love for you. Please let her. |
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dajesus541
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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| I agree with Major Tom. She is just trying to bring some happiness to you with what time she has left. If it really makes you that uncomfortable, maybe save up the money she gives you and buy HER a nice present... |
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Perdendosi
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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| I am in agreement with the other two. Are you sure she can afford this? It sounds like you're in more financial need than she is. What I would tell her, though, is not to spoil your children. If she wants to give them gifts for special occasions, OK, but don't be giving them money directly. This can affect how you raise your kids and may cause division between you and them.But if it's making you uncomfortable, you have a right to tell her to stop. Some people are fiercely independent, and it sounds like you are certainly one of them. Tell her how this "charity" makes you feel, and what pain it's causing you and what you feel when she does this extravagent giving. If you want to provide her alternatives, how about opening up a college fund for your kids, as I'm sure that will be extremely important for them. You have a right to try to make it on your own if that's what you want, but expect that her feelings may be hurt in the process. |
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