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catlady
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:37 pm Post subject: My son's father won't visit him or grandchildren for christmas? |
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| My son, his wife and three children live with me while they are trying to buy a home. My son gets along well with his father (my x-husband) who lives one hour away. My son made sure he bought christmas gifts for his Dad and called and told him he wanted to visit him on the Sunday before christmas to give him his presents because that was his day off (he works 6 days a week). His father said yes and it was a plan. The day before they were suppose to meet his dad called drunk and said he couldn't make it because he screwed up and drank to much. His dad never called again and the grandkids never got to see their Grandfather for Christmas either. My question is what do you make of this?. My x-husband and I get along well so I know it's not because of me. I find his actions to be cold, careless and unacceptable...what do you think?. Should I write him a email and find out what the hell is going on or not?.Thank you in advance. |
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madsmaha1
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:42 pm Post subject: |
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| Is your son as upset as you? If not,,,,let it go!!! Your ex sounds like a loser...it's his loss if he screws up!! |
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kimberly p
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that your x-husband is messed up he says yea and then gets drunk and calls to say he cant come. He also hurt hie grandchildrens feelings. Heck yea you should find out whats happening. |
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rebelgirl_5
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 3:48 pm Post subject: |
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| This sounds exactly like my father.... I showed up at christmas for him and he was gone to his girlfriends house with her three kids, never mind my three children. All I can say is that is hurts like hell. If this is the first time he has done it, hopefully by saying something to him can change his ways. My children havent seen their grandpa since last christmas. (his doing). I have slowly gave up after giving him so many chances. I feel now that i can walk away knowing i gave him countless chances and have no regrets. Yes i have anger and resentment, but i know it is nothing I did. I wish your son and his family lots of luck! |
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Xyleisha
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Even though my family and I don't celebrate the holidays, I understand how hard that must have been.My ex and I have 4 children together. They haven't received so much as a letter since 1999.My girls don't really remember their bio-dad, but it's still been hard- especially for my sons who do remember him.I *sort of* understand my ex's reasonings. I gave him a really hard time for treating the kids like a yo-yo (he wouldn't be around for a year, then pop up for a day as if nothing happened). So, in his heart of hearts he probably thinks he's protecting them. I also ended up marrying a doctor after our divorce and my ex can rarely afford rent- so again, he thinks it's to the kids benefit that he vanished. Before 2001, when I remarried and completely lost contact with my ex, I tried to tell him otherwise. But he's bull-headed and just doesn't get it.Is getting drunk something your ex is known for doing? Has anyone heard from him since the phone call? If the behavior is out of character, call him up and make sure he's okay. A lot of people get horribly depressed during the holiday season. Maybe his mistakes were slapping him around and he became too down on himself?If he's done this sort of thing before, by all means, ask him what his problem is. Tell him (or have your son explain to him) just how much everyone was looking forward to the visit.If this sort of behavior is a habit of his, you may simply have to walk away from it. Some people just dont know how to be parents (or compassionate/empathetic humans for that matter). Just reassure your son and grandkids that it in no way is a reflection of THEM. I tell my kids that their bio-dad loves them very much, he just has his priorities messed up and that he just doesn't know how to father. I encourage my crew not to hate their dad (because hate never solves anything).Anyhow, I hope your ex is okay and that the rest of your family is doing well too.(((((hugs for everyone))))) |
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Major Tom
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Wed Dec 26, 2007 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Email and ask him if he is ok. Approach it with concern not with rebuke. |
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