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He bought myself and his mother the same thing, should I be this upset regardless of how much money its worth?


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r0tt3nd0lli
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:41 am Post subject: He bought myself and his mother the same thing, should I be this upset regardless of how much money its worth?

This Christmas my boyfriend had asked me what I thought of him getting his mother a gift certificate for Red Door day spa, I said she'd probably like it and didn't think anything more about it.So he got it for her and she loved it. I didn't get my present till we got home and I was ready to leave cause I had to work this morning, well he gives me the gift he got for me before I go.It's the same thing he got his mother.The first words out of my mouth were "It's the same thing..." I told him to take it back. He said he couldn't. So I went home with it, and I felt awful that I couldn't have been more excited for his benefit. I've just never masked how I felt very well. I apologized to him, and told him I'd prolly use it. He spent $350 on it. I think I just wanted something more personal that showed he put some thought into it.I cried most of the night after I got home.Also, I've been sick this whole last week and had been up since 7 in the morning so I was very tired.Thank you, Damn ReligiousNut.I think you helped put it into perspective in a way I couldn't see it.

Antony A
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:44 am Post subject:

dont get so worked up over materialism

Naz
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:45 am Post subject:

OMG - I'm sorry but you appear to be way too spoiled and ungrateful

Cybele
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:46 am Post subject:

It's not like he bought you both a flannel nightgown. A spa trip is something that anyone can enjoy and, Jesus, that is a lot of money

Just Tryin' to Help
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:46 am Post subject:

Ahh I hear ya. I think because you said you thought it was a great idea, then you would like it too. Men take a little hint and run with it sometimes... even when they shouldn't. Anyway, did he want you to go with her to the spa? Just tell him thanks, and that you appreciate the thought.

wench
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:48 am Post subject:

i would be mad as heck for him getting me the same thing he bought for his mom.thats a lame non thinker i would have cried my eyes out too.then again mine didnt get me anything but he did make sure and get his sleep today.i am so upset i am not sure what to say or do.what can i do?but it is snowing and i have waited all the time for it to snow before christmas and it just started!!!at least one thing is going my way.i did get my wish.

southarkansas
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:48 am Post subject:

your so bad--so what if he got the 2 of you the same thing price of it has nothing to do with it-maybe have been one of those times he couldn't find a gift that was just right.At the time it was a great idea to get both of you a trip to spa.

PumpkinChild
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:49 am Post subject:

I think it shows that he really cares for you.You can tell a lot about a guy with how he treats his mother.Thats more than likely how he will treat you in your relationship.He may have the same love for you that he has for his mom.It says a lot.Depending on your relationship with you and his mom, this might be a chance for a bonding experience.

Damn ReligiousNut
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:50 am Post subject:

You're over-reacting...I see nothing wrong with finding something you think two people you love would like to have, and then buying it for both of them...My brother and I frequently got an identical gift when we were growing up, and that didn't bother me at all...I knew it simply meant that our loved ones knew we would both appreciate it...I think you owe him an apology...he may not be the most "saavy tactful sensitive and caring fellow in the world," but he does love you, and not everyone can be "as thoughtful" as you...It's the "giving" part that matters...not the "sentiment..."Merry Christmas...(let's not lose a sense of "true giving" by placing value on "materialistic gift choices," and reading "bad behavior" into what was obviously just a "minor slip-up in tactfulness and bone-headedness on his part..."He's probably not the "sharpest tack" on the bulletin board...but at least he loves you, and bought you something I'm sure you'd enjoy and use that you probably wouldn't normally fit into your budget...All righty then...

sammy3256
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 6:52 am Post subject:

You know he probably thought that you would like it when you gave your opinion of what he got his mother.I can imagine how you felt about getting the same thing he got his mom. But as I said you did say that his mom would like it, so he thougth you would too.And if he didnt give it to his mom you probably really would like it.$350 is nothing to cry about - that's alot of money. It sounds like he likes his mom, and he wanted to get his mom something nice - so in his mind that was the nicest gift for his mom who he loves, then it must be the nicest thing he can get you who he loves too.I am sure he didnt mean for you to feel the way you are.

capgirl732
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 7:14 am Post subject:

Guys don't mean to be, but sometimes they can be pretty thick when it comes to gift-giving. They forget that what works for their mother might not work on their girlfriend, and by him buying this gift for his mother FIRST gives the impression that he wasn't thinking about you at ALL when he got yours.I get what you must've been feeling, but this is one time it would've been best to accept the gift. You could always have turned it around into something romantic for the both of you to enjoy. You could ask him how a perfume smelled and then ask him if he'd like to see you in it and nothing else. Make it a kind of sensual detente so he knows next time that a gift for his Mom and a gift for his girl must be TWO different things!

minootoo
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2007 7:48 am Post subject:

Cherish it. Enjoy it .In my opinion lot of thinking went in to selecting the present.Why should you be upset, he thought if his mother enjoyed it then you would too.It is not some thing that both of you will show up at a party, wearing same neck-less, as matter of fact, if it was that, then it just shows that both of you are co ordinated, for the occasion, it is fun and so enjoy the fun, never nit pick on a present or about the present.

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