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bluefastblaster
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:25 am Post subject: How would feel about not receiving a gift from your significant other? |
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| How would you feel if you significant other of a year and a half didn't get you an anniversary gift, then no birthday gift and then no Christmas gift? You have given on their Birthday and past Christmas and anniversary gave a card. You buy them things just because but yet don't receive it in return. Is it selfish to want to receive even just a card for acknowledgement on those "special" days? Or is that just part of life? I do believe that it is better to give than to receive but what if all you do is give? Is it once you get past a certain age or past a certain point in your relationship that gifts are meaningless? We have been best friends for about 10 years and just started dating about a year and a half ago. I truly love my man and I will look past this but want to know what others think and feel about it. We are in our mid 20’s , he has a 1yr old daughter and I have a 3yr old son. Do children make an impact on you gift buying habits for you significant other as well?It is not about the money..Not about the money at all because now he is getting ready to go buy himself a new gun for hunting.WA guy. I do understand what you are saying A nice dinner at home would be nice for me. A 99 cent card would have been nice. A little note that said Happy Birthday I Love you would have been nice. A rock from the drive way anything that showed some kind of acknowledgement? If that makes any sense at all. It isn't really the gift it is the thought that is put behind it and to not feel forgoten. Congrats on you way to anniversary #2.. |
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me
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:33 am Post subject: |
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| i got nothing...bc we have someone who is terminally ill in the family and we had no $$. it was actually the first christmas i didn't get anything but i didn't care bc i realize that things r just things. family is much more important. this christmas spending time w/my family meant more to me then anything in this world....but shame on him if he just didn't take the time to get u anything!!! |
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Lucci
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:35 am Post subject: |
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| PISSED. This is a form of hostility and just wait until it boils over. I have been there! He is taking you for granted and doesn't appreciate you. Children have nothing to do with this and this is not normal or a part of life. When a person truly loves, they SHOW it. |
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WA Guy
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:40 am Post subject: |
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| I personally am not the gift type of person. So for me to give a gift to someone close it's hard because I can't stand getting gifts for people. And it's not because I'm cheap or can't afford it because that's not true. It's just the fact that I really don't care to hand out gifts.For my partners and mine one year anniversary I asked if it was OK not to get anything and asked if we could have a nice dinner somewhere. He was OK with it. He however went out and purchased something very nice for the both of us for our anniversary. So I made him a deal. I said that he had the first year for the anniversary gift and now I will get something the 2nd year and we can switch. I did this because I know that he likes gifts more than me so I don't mind getting a gift if that's what he really wants.My partner had a B-Day in Sept. and he's the type of like to receive gifts. So I actually went shopping for him and got him things that I thought he would like (even though I can't stand giving gifts for B-Days I personally feel it's a waste of money, but that's my opinion).As for Christmas it was a mutual agreement that neither of us would buy gifts this year. Just the fact that we have purchased things this year that we really wanted and we couldn't think of anything that we really needed. So instead we had the family over for the holidays and enjoyed company at our house.To answer your question NO I think it's fine if your partner doesn't get a gift as long as you talk about it and you both are OK with. If your partner can justify why he doesn't purchase anything hear him out. But he also needs to hear you out when you say "You know it would be nice to receive a gift on this holiday, b-day, etc. But he should explain his thoughts and feelings to you. Just because I don't like to buy gifts doesn't mean that I'm not going to NOT buy something for my partner on his B-day. That's because I know that he really likes gifts on that day. So I'm OK with getting him something.I hope this helps and sorry it's become a book. |
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staceydv4
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 11:48 am Post subject: |
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| may be he forgot er somethin guys can be like that |
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Moon Unit
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 12:17 pm Post subject: |
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| If it was just one event -- maybe they forgot (especially B-day or anniversary) But Christmas?? You can't forget Christmas. And then tie that in with him not getting you even a CARD.... for ANY of the occasions -- that is ridiculousI would be pissedIf he didn't get anything for anyone else and was say super distracted by work or a major event... then maybe it wasn't just neglecting you.But it sounds as though that wasn't the case.Maybe he doesn't see your relationship as significant as you do...Or maybe he is just a heartless guy who is more focused on his needs (buying himself something while neglecting you on a major holiday) than anyone else's.Take this as a sign of how things will be in the future. And considering you have only been together a year and a half... you are still in the honeymoon phase and it will only get worse.If you don't mind that kind of neglect -- more power to you -- I guess I am just selfishBut I am the same way --- a simple dinner, a back rub, a 99 cent card would be fine -- but some sort of acknowledgment!Nothing, on all three occasions -- forget it. That is how I would feel.Now, regarding what you should do --> that is something you need to assess and figure out. |
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Lady V
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Imagine this...to get nothing after 6 years of being toghether and 3months of engagement. I gave him 4 gifts and they were pretty well thought of and they were not cheap. I know its the fact of giving and christmas really = kids + gifts. and biggest thing of all is to at least have a fiance or a significant other, but still its the fact of being creative and not forgetful. |
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mairzydoatz
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Honey, I feel your pain - very much like mine........ |
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peppersham
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Dec 27, 2007 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| No its a selfish act to not buy you anything for Christmas,not an oversight.Now a birthday may not be remembered on the right day,its excusable,an anniveresary the same men aren"t concerned for dates as women are.But NO ONE can forget Christmas and no you aren't asking for too much.You are being taken for granted and not appreciated.You may want to rethink this relationship,also.God bless and Happy New Year. And no has nothing to do with kids. |
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