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Am I required to invite someone to my wedding if they sent me a gift beforehand?


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Hacim
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:16 pm Post subject: Am I required to invite someone to my wedding if they sent me a gift beforehand?

I'm getting married in a couple of months. My fiancee and I both come from very large extended families. When we were drawing up the guest list, we made a decision to invite only uncles and aunts as inviting all of the cousins and their children would swell the number of guests well beyond our means. However, one of my aunts obviously passed on some information to her children as we just received a very generous present from my cousin from our registry. My question is this, how should I proceed? Am I obligated to invite my cousin who gave me the gift at the risk of alienating the 20 or so other cousins? How do I show him our appreciation without insulting him?

Reba
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject:

You are not obligated to invite anyone. If you recieved a gift simply send thank you cards as soon as you can. Wedding announcements can be sent to those who are not invited to the wedding. Announcements should be sent the day of or within a week of being married. So have tehm ready and have someone drop them in the mail for you.

Kjersti G
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:22 pm Post subject:

OOO! kinda hard but since they did send you a rather nice gift I think you should! But people should also realize they arnt invited until they recieve an invite in the mail.I would risk it and invite them.

Shera M
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:23 pm Post subject:

Well if he sent you the present now, he must know that its only aunts and uncles but still wanted to show you he was happy for you. I would just send him a thank you card saying how much you appreciate it and thank him for understanding that you can't invite everyone.

winter_spice78
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:23 pm Post subject:

You invite whoever you want to attend. It has nothing to do with whether they sent you a gift already or not. To show your appreciation, send a thank you card, and then either invite him or don't. Your aunt was obviously not informed of your decision to only invite certain people so it's not entirely her fault that your cousin found out about your wedding, especially since many people don't cut off their guest list at aunts and uncles and in fact invite their entire families.

pspoptart
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:33 pm Post subject:

I would send a very heartfelt Thank You note to him and invite them for a nice dinner or lunch in gratitude. They may or may not accept but it's a great way to reciprocate without having to invite the other 20 cousins to the wedding and drive costs through the roof. NOTE: Thank You notes are expected within a week or two of recieving gifts that are sent before the wedding....not lumped in with the post-wedding Thank Yous that are sent up to months later.

Judy s.
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:36 pm Post subject:

No you don't have to invite them,but you do have to choose one of two options. 1. Just send a very nice thank you note and throw in a message saying how you would have loved to have had them at the wedding but do to financial burden you could only invite so many (or something to that effect.) 2. Call your aunt (the mother of the causing) and say how there child sent you such a beautiful gift and also have them extend your thanks along the thank you card that you sent (it doesn't have to include my above suggestion if you choose this route) and tell your aunt about how you could only invite so many.GOOD LUCK.

gfb
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 6:47 pm Post subject:

no you are not required to invite anyone you dont want to. send them a thank you card.

barthebear
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:03 pm Post subject:

No you are not obligated. Obviously they wanted to send the gift. When you write your thank-you ( right away) express a desire to have them for dinner or meet for dinner so you can truly have a nice visit after the wedding and you get settled

kill_yr_television
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:08 pm Post subject:

By writing him an extra nice thank you letter (not a card or note) which closes with hopes that he will be your guest for a nice meal (or some other treat) when you return from your honeymoon.

Shanti MT
Yahoo User

Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 8:53 pm Post subject:

Sure, invite them! Maybe they'll give you a second gift(kidding). Even if they don't, unless they're someone you just can't bear, you know they're hoping for an invite. I'd have a word with the aunts, though. No extending invites without your sayso. Just tell them you're on a budget.

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