Cash for a wedding gift list, how do we do it tastefully?
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maigen_obx
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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| There is no polite way to do what you want to do and you know it. You are looking for someone to give you permission to be rude and tacky and it's just not going to happen. |
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iloveweddings
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Ok...here is my standard answer as this gets asked at least once a week.If you want cash (or a sofa), simply DO NOT register anywhere. Please, please, please, give your guests some consideration that they have a brain. Once a guests check out a few of the regular stores that brides normally register at....and they see you are not registered,......well....then you will get cash. You asked for a way around it....and I that is the solution. I get a kick out of brides like you that say....you don't want "600 towel sets." Again....do you not think your guests have a brain? If you indeed register for "gifts" = towels, bedding, kitchen appliances....that is the point. Why would you get 600 towel sets? When I pick up a gift registry, I see what is still "needed".....if you get 600 towel sets then that would mean that YOU registered for 600 towel sets. As a guest, I buy what is listed on the registry. Once an item is purchased, it is taken off the registry. That's how registries work.I'm sure you were using that hypothetically, but really, give your guests a little credit. They are not stupid. |
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Jen C
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Why don't you list a few throw cushions on your registry and spread by word of mouth that you are trying to save for a new lounge/sofaor invest in hiring a wishing well where you can suggest in a poem that if guests wish to participate they could contribute to your lives together by donating towards a new lounge as it is something you really want but do not expect one guest, or family to fork out thousands for |
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Daisy M
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Well, I almost left without comment, but I just couldn't let it go. You are frustrated with everyone here because you want someone to tell how to tastefully do something that is tacky. If you don't need anything but a sofa, then why not have your wedding and invite everyone on your list for the reason they are supposed to be invited anyway--the honor of their presence and let it leak that all you want is their presence--that's presence not presents and buy your own couch. |
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sparkleythings_4you
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:24 am Post subject: |
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| How many more times must this same question be asked, over and over and over and over again, I'm so tired of it, the answer will always be the same, it's rude, there is no polite way to do this, some people suggest "word of mouth" by your mother or MOH, but there will never be a nice way of doing this, you can dress it up with all the cute poems you want, it is and always will be rude. |
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ChocLover
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 2:00 am Post subject: |
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| I wouldn't dream of going to a wedding without bringing a present. Weddings aren't cheap and it's not like you're asking your guests for an entrance fee or anything! As a guest you get a meal, entertainment and sometimes drink all paid for for you, the least you can do is buy a decent present or put 20 quid/voucher in an card for the couple. We were lucky enough to get a couple of hundred quids worth of vouchers for ours which we put towards something we really wanted as we had also been living together for a few years and had enough toasters, towels etc, etc. Don't feel awkward about it, most people will give you money or vouchers anyway because they won't really have a clue what to get you.Good luck! |
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DippyD
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:59 am Post subject: |
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| We had a lot of good comments on what we had put..........We ask for your presence not your presents but if you wish to get us a gift we would appreciate vouchers for.......... as we are saving up to buy a few larger items for our home!!People commented on this being a good way of putting it! |
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ejb199
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:20 am Post subject: |
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| Hey, we are having the same prob coz we have everything too. after much thinking tho i ahve decided NOT to put anything about gifts on the invite. Instead, we have prepped both sets of parents with the 'we just want cash!' advice and they will be passing it on. I may include a short line on the extra info in friends invites purely because most of our friends weddings we have attended have mentioned gifts and have asked for money too! Something like - 'as you know, we have been together X amount of years so a gift of cash would be much appreciated to help us do the house/build conservatory/pay for honeymoon! Or just put - to go towards a new sofa!Just been reading some of these comments and to be honest most of them are relaly out dated! A lot of people these days welcome being informed about a gift list or cash. It saves people the hassle of trying to find a good gift! and if thats what the couple really want then great. if you dont like it then dont go to the wedding - im sure they will be pleased when they are saving £60-70 per head on the meal, drinks, entertainment! get real guys - not everyone has mummy and daddy to pay for the wedding these days! |
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Carol x
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:03 am Post subject: |
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| A poem sent with the invites is a good way.... letting people know why u want money instead.... i.e so u can buy a sofa!Most people are more understanding these days & appreciate the money request!-------------------------------We understand you may wish to buy us a very special giftand if you wish to do so, your kindness wont be missedWe really need new furniture, an expensive present we wouldnt ask. But we would be able to buy some soon, if we received the gift of cash.What ever you wish to do for us, we appreciate it -its your call.Your attendance on our special day is what matters after all.Howzat for a quick poem? lol |
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heather c
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:14 am Post subject: |
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| Me and my husband are renewing our vows in 2 years time. My friend asked if we wanted money or presents, but i didn't think people would actually buy us anything or give us money, because it's not a wedding as such. All you can do is spread the word about wanting the money. Ask your mum/friends to tell people about the money if anyone should ask her. People will soon cotton on! I think that is whatwe will be doing. Have fun on your day xx |
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