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Morgan M
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:40 pm Post subject: My supervisor!? |
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| YIPES!I seriously hate my supervisor more then I've disliked anybody before in my whole life. Here is the problem:Last week during my evaluation (two weeks after invites went out) She said "I know you are just trying to save money on paper so thats why I didn't get my invitation so if you just want to make a photo copy of it we can hang it on the mailboxes here."I don't want her to come and we have a whole new staff so I don't know any of them well enough and my guest list is already too big to begin with. I have decided to be somewhat nice and gave the ok for her to come but denied the request for the photocopy. But now she is asking a cousin (and maid of honor) what to get me for a gift.1)She won't get anything off the registry because she says we are too good of friends and she wants to get me something personal and unique 2)She put the wedding in the newsletter at work so now everybody knows.I'm sorry if this sounds mean but this woman makes my life a living hell! Help!What do I say about the gift?How do I nicely tell people I work with that I don't want them at my wedding (1 hr. out of town) and the little kids and their families (I work at an after school program) that they can't come? I'm a nice person and I'd love to have all of my kiddos there but its just not possible! |
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abc
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:46 pm Post subject: |
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| see you are young and dumb......it's all YOUR fault for talking about your personal life (i.e., wedding) at your job (professional life)...... they are now all invited (most won't come anyway) and you have learned a life lesson: separate your work life from your personal life..... |
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Galaxie Girl
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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| What is your supervisor doing publishing personal info about you in a newsletter? I can only assume you're in a small town or something where that's common, but I would think that a supervisor could get in trouble (either with his/her boss or legally) for pusblishing that kind of info about you without your permission.Well, you can't uninvite her, since you said you told her she can come. But, you should make it clear to her ASAP that you are not inviting your other coworkers or anyone like that to your wedding.Don't worry about the gift, it will probably be something you stick in the back of your closet or sell at a garage sale. Just write a thank you note and don't worry about it.Perhaps you should consider working elsewhere. If she sees she can walk all over you when it comes to your personal life, she will act like that for as long as you work for her. And if you start asserting yourself and trying not to let her walk all over you, she'll probably treat you bad or make your job even worse than it is now. I say, find a new job.Good luck with all this! |
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OZZIEGAL
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| all you have to do is say that you are so over on your numbers you just can't ask anyone else. suggest that YOU bring snacks a day or two prior to your wedding for coffee break! it will make it look as though you truly are sorry you can't invite them.as for the supervisor i think you are stuck with her attending, unless you want to start looking for another job. perhaps when she is speaking with your moh, your moh could make some sort of 'innocent' comment along the lines of 'gosh, her parents are going to shoot her! she is way over her guest limit!' and just see what the supervisor says? whatever happens sweetie have a great wedding! |
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Kate
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 2:55 am Post subject: |
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| It is bad form to discuss the wedding seriously with anyone you are not inviting. The rule I have heard is that if you ask them something as basic as "I think green will be nice in the summer, don't you?" they need to be invited. Even if your wedding is small. It's common practice to invite a supervisor you know well or have had for awhile to your wedding. Even if you hate her, she is trying to be nice, in her own twisted way. With the rest of the people at work, it's an all of nothing deal. It's okay to invite your supervisor and no one else, but don't pick and choose beyond that. People don't need a heirarchy of your friendships pointed out to them. Brand new staff will also not expect to be invited. Don't worry about what she gets you. That's her problem. If she asks you herself, tell her you picked out so many things on the registry that you couldn't imagine asking for anything else. You're just so happy that she is joining you on your special day. Don't focus on her. It will be OK. |
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sden2616
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 4:18 am Post subject: |
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| Tell them now. Just let them know that because of limitations on the amount of people that your venue can hold, you can only invite close friends and family. They should understand this. As for your supervisor, how rude. Not only did she invite herself, she was inviting everyone you work with. I don't think you should have given in and invited her, but I guess you already did. That sucks too that she isn't going to even buy you something you want because you two are "so close". what a mess. I would just go to her and explain that you would like it if she wouldn't really mention your wedding at work anymore, as you are not able to invite everyone. |
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keepyourhandsoffmycat
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 7:07 am Post subject: |
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| abc is a b!tch, yeah maybe you should not have told everyone but she didn't need to talk to you like that and call you dumb. For the sake of your wedding and budget, just nicely tell the people you don't want there that you can't afford for them to come sorry. Also, tell your supervisor that she is not invited and she should not have assumed she could come. |
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Suz
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:20 am Post subject: |
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| I would have said at the beginning, when the photocopy was first mentioned:I'm sorry . . . but due to budget and space limitations, the wedding will be very small . . . mostly family. My fiance and I wish we could invite everyone, but we simply can't. We thank you for your good wishes.Since she had the nerve to invite everyone for you by putting it in the company newsletter . . . well, I would be tempted to put my own note in the newsletter or circulate my own memo . . . one saying exactly what I wrote above. If people question you about being "uninvited" . . . say, "Supervisor apparently misunderstood and took it upon herself to invite everyone." If supervisor is as bad as you say, everyone will immediately understand.If people give you gifts when they are not invited, then accept the gift and say "thank you." Write them a thank-you note. You are in no way obligated to invite them. |
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