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gemma r
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:49 am Post subject: |
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| its not rude alt all. i didn't have a list but if anyone asked what i wanted i would just tell them money as like your friend, i had already set up house etc. my mum paid for the catering, my nan paid for the entertainment and everyone else gave me money. nothing major, just £10-£20 but it was better than receiving duplicate gifts and besides, i didn't get married for the money!! xx xx |
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chubajk
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:52 am Post subject: |
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| it is ok we are doing the same thing and my mum wasent happy if you log on to instant ad forever there is a page of poems requesting money for gifts in a nice way |
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Barbara B
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:12 am Post subject: |
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| It is the height of rudeness to expect a gift of any kind - money or objects. Your friend's dad is absolutely correct.Your friend is crass, rude and a whole lot of other ugly things. |
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Olga
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:19 am Post subject: |
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| It is an amazing idea. It is not rude at all. People make wish lists, ask for something specific or get something they don't need or want. At my wedding I got so much things I will never use and I know it was a real problem for the guests to choose the presents. So I think that the guests for your friend's wedding should be happy of not boiling their brains of what to get to the newlyweds and the newlyweds won't end up with a room full of things they don'tt need, don't want and don't like. |
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celtic.piskie
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:25 am Post subject: |
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| Asking for money directly is a bit presumptuous for most people.... If they want a honeymoon from it, tell people that and ask them to get vouchers for a certain travel company. People like to know what the money/gifts have been used for. A friend of mine did that, and it was wonderful. She explained that she had everything for the house, and didn't need presents, if people wanted to get her things then would they please contribute to the honeymoon etc.... She had a wonderful time and the guests felt good getting her soemthing that wasn't just money, |
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Sara TTC
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:40 am Post subject: |
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| We've asked for money to go towards a belated honeymoon in the summer with my step son.We have had no negative feed abck from anyone.Its easier than having to shop for an unwanted gift and we get to have a special holiday we couldnt have afforded after paying for the wedding, in which we can make more special memories.I intend to send everyone a second thank you card after the holiday in the form of a photo of us as a family enjoying the holiday. (writing on back of the picture) If people dont like it... well... thats their opinion... we're all entitled to one... |
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sml
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:52 am Post subject: |
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| if a home is already established, it is pretty common; how many toasters can a person have; it would be better to have the money to do what they want with it; I generally will always give money for the wedding; gift giving for the wedding day has become pretty much obsolete; I will give money for a shower etc if they already live together otherwise I would buy a gift. I wouldn't count on the money to fund my honeymoon , whatever you get is the icing on the cake |
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Carrot
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:33 am Post subject: |
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| that is a lovely idea as it includes the whole family which of course is what the union is of not just the couple.These days people are not setting up home and need all the bits it is a lovely suggestion and i think the dad is a little stuck in his ways. There are much nicer ways of asking for this gift than 'give us yer money for a holiday'.Good luck to them both and hope the dad is not too upsetting to the family |
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Big Bully
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| It is ok to ask for money. This is what I do, because most women have bridal showers and gifts are given at this event. |
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newly preg
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 11:11 am Post subject: |
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| It is ALWAYS rude to request money or any gift for that matter. Registries were created to give people an idea of what a couple might like, especially for guests who don't know the couple's tastes. His dad is right - it is extremely low-class and tacky to request money. If people want to give money, they will. By the way, Barbara B is absolutely correct. I'm shocked by how uncouth and poorly versed people are in ettiquette/manners these days. I'm young, from the northeast, and recently was married. If I tried a stunt like this, noone would have shown to my wedding. |
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Lysal
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:32 am Post subject: |
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| I think it's a bit rude to ask for things but if people are asking what you want it is perfectly acceptable to say money. More and more couples are in the situation where they have lived together for a while now and have all of the traditional wedding gifts. In this case asking for cash to put towards a larger item is fine (you should always say what the money is going towards). I am asking for cash towards a new sofa if anyone asks me what we would like and my cousin asked for cash as she needed to repair her kitchen roof at her wedding. Most of my family are asking my mum what we would like and have been perfectly happy with what we have requested. But I would never put something in invites or anything like that as I feel this is rude. I think it's how you handle the asking that can be seen as rude not that it is money you are asking for. |
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Nickii
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:56 am Post subject: |
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| It can be a tricky subject but if people understand that they already have a home and the toaster and the kettle theres not alot people can buy anyway.You can get little wishing wells:http://www.weddingchaos.co.uk/TheOrganising/wedding-wishing-well.aspto have at the reception so people can deposit there gift of cash or (even a travel agent voucher?) there are little poems there 2 which you could put either inside the invites or frame it next to the wishing well for people to read. |
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