How would this make you feel !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
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tiny Valkyrie
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:50 am Post subject: |
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| You gotta have a talk with him.Tell him that when he does not reciprocate with a gift, even if it's just a single rose or a card, that it makes you feel unappreciated.If that doesn't work and he still doesn't get it, then withhold the presents, especially the you-know-what.Nothing gets the gears realigned in their heads faster than a few weeks of "ain't gettin none." |
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sweetie
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:50 am Post subject: |
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| 1st, sit him down and explain to him how it makes u feel. 2nd, stop getting him gifts, 3rd, if u don't fix this now then trust me he will continue with this. my husband is the same way, only thing is that he is soo cheap he doesn't want me buying him anything either, but I insist that he buys me something. WHen we first got together I just tried to not let it bother me that he wouldnt buy me anything, but I finally said enuff is enuff and put my foot down. So if I dont get something at least a card, he can bet money that he will catch my wrath of rage. So give him the option of doing this the easy way or hard way, its his choice. I mean come on he cant even get u a mothers day card???!!!! wat kinda crap is that???!!!???? |
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casper
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:51 am Post subject: |
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| Don't give anything to him and he will "feel" for himself what it's like !! He's not setting a good example for your children either. They are seeing his selfish behavior, and if you have sons, then this is What they will, See ,as how "they" should "behave". You need to explain it to your Husband. Maybe he'll "get it" then. Good Luck !!! |
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nite_angelica
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:52 am Post subject: |
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| I would think about these things before marrying him. It is obvious that he has no concern for the way you feel, so I'm curious as to how you think he will make a good husband with that being the case?Obviously it is your call and not my business, but when things are a problem before you get married they become a bigger problem after you are married. If he isn't concerned that his lack of attention hurts you now, just imagine how it will be when you are married.I dated a hispanic guy for 8 years - we were engaged for 5 of those years. He always got me 'things' for holidays, but was never concerned about whether or not he actually made me happy.I ended up not marrying him for that very reason.. It's a completely different culture and they don't hold women on their level - they think they are to take care of the family first and put themselves last, so I would imagine he EXPECTS you to do things for him, but doesn't feel like he should have to do the same for you.I hope you always love him as much as you do now though. I find hispanic men to be self-centered and selfish. |
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eddood52
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:54 am Post subject: |
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| Hispanic men are notrorious for being "el-Cheapo" when it comes to such as this. They are too self-centered to think deeply or care about pleasing you. Even in the sex department, as long as they get thier jollys, they could care less if you are pleased about thier performance. |
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Deg
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:55 am Post subject: |
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| My ex was like that...Hence ex. He never gave me a thing. He'd get me something small for Xmas and that was it. I would see other women with their hubbies and my friends and would be so jealous! After he bailed, i realized how emotionally alone i had been for 15 years. I met a wonderful man through yahoo personals and found out what love and relationship was supposed to be like. He is now my husband and we have been together for 5 1/2 years. He took in my 4 kids and treats them as his own. He never goes a day without telling me how much he loves us. He also never goes a holiday like Valentines, Mothers Day or my birthday without getting me a gift or even just a card. He even buys me flowers time to time. I always start to cry because i realize how much he cares and how lucky i am now. If you are ok with this type of behavior, be ready to live the rest of your life with it. You can always tell him how you feel about it, but if he still doesn't change, i suggest you not marry. It is a lonely life wondering why he doesn't care enough to at least get you a card. |
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smt
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:00 am Post subject: |
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| Sit him down and tell him straight up how terrible you feel when he does not think of you on these days...does he participate on Christmas? How would he feel if he got nothing while you and the kids shared that moment? If he still doesnt get it then stop participating in those days for him, treat him as if those days mean nothing to you and mabey he will see how it feels. IF he loves you he will understand how important and go out of his way to make sure you feel as special as you are to him on those days! Good luck. |
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munkypunch
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:01 am Post subject: |
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| tell him that he better get you something. for two years you will have to remind him and by the third year he will do it automatically. everytime he forgets to get you something make a big deal about it. you have to make a big deal about and that way he will remember to get you stuff just so you won't bother him. after 4 years he'll do it just because he knows you like it. also you have to say thank you and really let him know that it makes you happy when you get gifts. |
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trueeee
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:01 am Post subject: |
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| Like I have told probably three different people on here today, you have to speak up. If you have not said something already, you have to tell him that it bothers you that he does not make an effort to show his appreciation. Maybe not so much on Valentine’s Day because it is just a fabricated holiday aimed at making men feel stressed and women feel insecure (I’ll get off my soapbox now), but he has to do something for you on Mother’s Day. Don’t just assume that he is reading your mind and knows how you feel.If you have said something, then be more assertive. |
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Barstool Bodhisattva
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:01 am Post subject: |
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| First, talk to him about it in a non-confrontational way. If he thinks you are 'nagging' him, he won't respond well.Tell him what you just told us - that you would appreciate small gestures (Doesn't have to be a big deal, or expensive, maybe just a card), and that it would mean a lot to you and show you that he cares. |
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♦justme♦
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:06 am Post subject: |
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| Stop giving him so much if you expect something in return. I myself don't really think these holiday's are so important. Sure it would be nice to get a card, but it would be nice to get that any day of the year, not just the ones that say you should. To me it matters more how I am treated and valued the other 364 days a year, not just on the holiday. if you say he is a good man, then don't make this such a big issue for yourself. Accept that this is the way he is and move on. If you still want to get him something, then get him something, but know in advance the favor won't be returned, and that is that. If it is such a big deal for you to get something, then do something for yourself on those days. There is nothing wrong with some self appreciation either. |
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