Why is it considered rude to register for wedding gifts?
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zack's my handsome little
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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| registering for gifts is not rude.asking for money is extremely rude though |
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Greyhound Mama
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:29 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't think it's necessarily rude to register for gifts. It's all in the manner you present it. The registry is helpful as a guide for the preferences of the couple. It also gives people a chance to choose what gift they want to give (if they choose to give a gift at all). A gift is NOT a requirement, although it's appreciated.Asking for money, on the other hand, is akin to asking for donations or an "entrance fee" of sorts for the event.Some etiquette sources say you should not mention a registry at all unless someone asks, but I think putting the information in a shower invitation is OK. I would not, however, put them in with the invitations for the actual wedding.In general, I think couples getting ready to get married should focus on having people there to celebrate their day, not on what gifts they will be getting from them. I'd rather have a warm reception with people who love me than a ton of gifts. |
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melouofs
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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| It isn't rude to register for gifts. It is rude to ask for money. |
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lucylou
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:41 pm Post subject: |
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| It is not considered rude to register for wedding gifts....it is considered rude to inform your guests when you send the invitation. Where you are registered should only be known through word of mouth. Sending a little slip in the invitiation is considered inappropriate. Of course that is just wedding etiquette, that doesn't mean it has to be followed. |
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Peachy Keen, Jelly Bean
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Registering for gifts is not rude at all and is very acceptable. What isn't acceptable, however, is including the registry information on the wedding invitations. |
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Invisigoth
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:51 pm Post subject: |
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| it's not considered rude to register for wedding gifts. where did you get that idea? It is considered rude to indicate any irritation or disapproval on your part if your guests don't use the register.I buy the gift, I give the gift, once the couple has it--it is theirs to do with as they see fit. use it, return it, donate it to charity or re-gift it.Just remember if you re-gift anything...open it up and re-wrap it to make sure you removed any personal notes to you from the original giver.edit:re: your additional info.ohhhhhh, asking for money is not registering for gifts. you do not mention gifts or money in an invitation. THAT is considered rude because then you create the impression that you are EXPECTING gifts and gifts are always freely given and OPTIONAL. If you won't be registering for gifts then when your guests call to ask where you are registered you or your family or your bridal party inform them that you don't really need anything and haven't registered but would welcome gifts of cash if the guest is inclined to give something.as to the thumbs down: some people just go through and mark thumbs down on everyone except their own post and then there are some people who think giving money is tacky. Go figure. |
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Donnie H
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:00 pm Post subject: |
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| forget what is said,,,do it that's the moder way of life, get what you want an need an not a lot of what you don't want or need |
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Completely in love....
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:27 pm Post subject: |
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Actually I like it when people register for things. At least you know what they want and that they'll like it. Plus I always get good ideas from the registry too. Like when I see that they've register for baking things I like to put alittle basket together of things that are nice to have like nonstick sheets, cookbooks, decorating tools. I love seeing what their taste is and helps you pick other things if you don't want to be confined to the registry.  |
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Shana B
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:02 pm Post subject: |
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| Nowadays, people want you to be registered b/c it makes it so easy for them, they just go online, get you what you want and will like, and it gets shipped to your house for you.As for money... when we got married what we really wanted was a honeymoon! So in addition to a store registry we registered for our Sandals honeymoon and guests could buy us a piece of the honeymoon! It was great b/c we didn't have to ask for money but we got what we needed paid for. Also, even though we did not ask for money, we did get money from all of our close family members, b/c they knew it was what a new couple always needs most! |
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iloveweddings
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Where did you get the idea that it was rude? The practice of registering for gifts goes back to the 1920's. (The retailer Marshall Fields started this in 1924 to be exact.) Yes, it is better to shop off the registry.Perhaps you are understanding things wrong:~ There is nothing wrong with registering for gifts and including this registry information on the SHOWER invitation.~ It is considered rude, however, to include anything about gift registries on the WEDDING invitation.~ And, you cannot by any means include a cute little poem or such saying "we have everything, what we really want is cash."It is wrong to ask for cash. It is NOT wrong to register for gifts. |
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Etiquette Gal
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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| If you do your gift registry ("wish list") PROPERLY, no, it is not rude.Etiquette says that it is ONLY acceptable to register for tangible items that the couple will use together in marriage. Registering for travel, for money, for gift cards, for stocks/bonds, for donations to charity, or for ANY other intangible thing is rude.You also can ONLY let people know about the registry by word of mouth-- no publicizing one's own registry by putting in your blog or website, or putting those rude little notes into your invitations! You cannot mention your own registry unless someone ASKS you about your gift preferences-- then you may tell the person, and they pass the word around (your bridal party and parents can pass the word around too, about things you prefer).Also, guests are not REQUIRED to shop from your registry. they are allowed to come up with their own gift ideas for you. ALL gifts must be received graciously, even if it's not your favorite thing. That's part of growing up and being polite. |
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nova_queen_28
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:33 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't think it is rude to register for gifts. It is considered rude to put the registry info directly in the wedding invitation.I think registries are great and a way for a couple to let people know what they like or what they could use, so that if someone really wants to buy them something they have a guideline. |
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