	Gift Search:

FAQ

Do you find you spend a lot on gifts for others that you never seem to get back?


	Gift Discussion Home -> Housewarming

Author

Message

veg_hel
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: Do you find you spend a lot on gifts for others that you never seem to get back?

Maybe it's my own fault that I am not married yet and too old for children, but over the years I have spent thousands of dollars on gifts for others, that I never seem to get back, and am still going. Apart from Christmas there are birthdays, engagements, weddings and baby showers. I have had 3 major birthday parties in my life, where I got some beautiful gifts, but that is it. When I bought my house some good friends gave me some very small housewarming gifts, which I appreciated, but my family who I have spent all this money on gave me nothing. Now my sister has had twins plus there is a wedding this weekend and suddenly there goes $200! Last Christmas I bought candy treat bags for my 7 nieces and nephews, and my sister showed me up by buying CD's players for them! Does anyone else go through this?My partner and I only want a small wedding as we don't like too much fuss, so we won't recoup there!I try not to spend too much on gifts, but you are expected to take a good gift to a wedding, and expected to give a good gift at christenings to family etc. If I can get away with it I do believe me. It's just that I seem to get invited to things where I would never really reciprocate the invitation - do I cut off going to events so I don't have to take a gift? Where do you draw the line!

PROMISE
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject:

Never give with the expectation of receiving.

tnr_lady
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:13 pm Post subject:

Ideally, one spends on gifts to please the recipient, not to rack up a tally of reciprocity.

Diane B
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:13 pm Post subject:

If you don't feel good about giving, then stop, there is no law that says you must give and evidently you really feel resentful. So stop doing something that bothers you so much.But I guarantee that you will feel guilty. So you have options, spend less or send a card and not buy a gift. Or keep giving and stop complaining.EDIT: The only thing I expect when I give a gift is a thank you and a smile. I went seven or eight years (it isn't important) giving Christmas gifts and never got one in return. But I was happy over the fact that everyone like the gifts I gave them that is what gave me happiness. When I did get a gift I didn't know how to act. So I smiled and said thank you.

Rosie25
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:19 pm Post subject:

The purpose of a gift is to give somebody something that they do not expect! It's a kind gesture, not something that is mandatory. I once learned that a true giver is someone who gives without the expectation of receiving, and someone who gives with an expectation of getting something in return, is not a true giver, but in fact a taker. You are very generous to give such great gifts to family and friends, but it's only going to frustrate you further to continue to expect things. If you are truly unhappy with it, than cut back on how much you spend to match the kind of gifts you receive, cut back on the amount of gifts you give all together, or learn to give without expecting anything in return.I am like you. I love to give thoughtful gifts and have often times spent too much. I just like to see the reactions and give people things they will truly appreciate, expensive or cheap. However, I know that not everybody can afford to do the same, so I don't expect anything in return. It should be about the spirit of giving.

Jackie P
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:19 pm Post subject:

I guess a gift is to be a gift- and not given with expecting something in return or else it's not really a gift!I think you must stay in your budget, that's all. If you can't afford much, don't give much! I know how awful it can be when there are several occasions a month to which I get invited... yep, weddings, showers, someone's birthday- with such a large family as we have, it gets nuts! Add in friends from Church. Impossible to gift everyone! I just give what I can- decline some invites, honestly. We are experiencing what the rest of us are- no increase in income, but ever increasing bills!!! Just do what you can! Don't feel guilty if you can't give much.

bipolarplanet2001
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:32 pm Post subject:

I don't really enjoy getting gifts the way others seem to so my answer is a no brainer...No, I don't go through that.So here's how to think of it... Some companies doing mail-order used to send out merchandise that you didn't order and then demand payment, report you to the credit bureau, etc. Not only is that unethical, it is illegal.So why should the people in your life give you gifts and demand that you reciprocate? It's the same thing!Some friends and family expect gifts at birthdays and holidays. They keep tabs of how much you spend and let you know if you didn't spend enough. There have been times in my life when I couldn't afford to play the game, and I really resented the expectation that I should put off paying bills to get them a gift that they'll wear once then throw away. For the most part, I get these twits trashy gag gifts until they stop demanding them.On the other hand, some folks just like getting gifts. It's not the cost of the gift and it's only marginally who gave them the gift. I enjoy watching that kind of person's face light up, and I think that's the best reason to give a gift - to give joy.And finally, there are folks you just want to give everything to. If you give, give freely.

JJ
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 5:45 pm Post subject:

I'm not going to give you the answer that everyone else has - "gifts are gifts and you shouldn't expect anything back." This statement is very true to an extent. You sound like a very nice and thoughful person, but the fact of the matter is, unfortunately, there are alot of people in the world that are not very thoughtful (selfish is a harsh word, but something along those lines). Most people only think about "what did you do for me?" not "what should I do for you?"It's a matter of etiquette, good manners, how you were raised, etc. It always will depend on the situation, of course. If you are giving extravagant gifts and expecting extravagant gifts in return, then you are being unreasonable (not saying this is the case, just speaking hypothecally). If you are simply following etiquette rules and others are not, then that is the unfortunate part that you'll just have to swallow (not all others are thoughtful). If someone can't afford gifts, that is acceptable, but if people are just thoughtless, then it's a part of the relationship you have to accept.

sugarBear
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:17 pm Post subject:

You are a nice person that gives EXPENSIVE gifts, but you should only do that when you can afford it & when you give, you should never, ever expect anything back in return because you will be disappointed when these people don't give you anything at all or even equal to what you spent on them. You should just be simple & not spend so much that you will regret later. I'm sure they appreciate it, but maybe they just can't afford as much as you can.

Sebastian
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:57 pm Post subject:

It's better to give then receive. I give gifts and do not expect anything in return but maybe a thank you. If I see they are happy with what I give them, it was worth the time and expense.

	Gift Discussion Home -> Housewarming	All times are GMT - 6 Hours
Page 1 of 1

Source: