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She wanted me to go away and leave her alone, but.....?


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blanka_55
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:54 am Post subject: She wanted me to go away and leave her alone, but.....?

I had a female friend a few years ago, and we became VERY close to each other--spent almost all of our time together. I later fell in love with her and asked her to be my gf, but she declined saying she didn't want it to ruin our friendship.I left and spent a year in college downstate, and she suddenly grew apart from me when she got a bf. She wouldn't email me anymore, and whenever I called her, she was very cold and rude to me--once telling the person who answered to "tell him I'm not here." I sent her a Christmas gift, but she never thanked me. After 8 months, I completely gave up trying to salvage the friendship and left her alone.When I returned back to my hometown, I got an upset email from her demanding to know why I'd been back but not let her know...which shocked me.Now she comes around (mind you, the bf is gone now) but she keeps asking why I'm so different and why I'm not so into her anymore. What does she expect after she treated me like that? What is up?

Kibbles
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 11:59 am Post subject:

Most of us girls are really stupid. She probably went from putting her focus on you, to putting her focus on her boyfriend, and once he left, she wanted you back because she had no one.It's her fault-- She was the one who completely ignored you for her boyfriend. Just tell her that you're 'so different' because she gave you the impression that she just didn't want anything to do with you anymore, so you've moved on to bigger and better things.

crazieone101
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:00 pm Post subject:

lol...she just wants you attention and took advantage of it the first time. dont give into hersome girls like all the attention to be on them and when someone turns away they need it back. they feed off attention

torieb
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:01 pm Post subject:

She is using you. Don't fall victim to that. She is trying to find someone to boost her self-esteem, because she lost it from her lasf b/f. Tell her you grew up and realized that you both are better off as friends. Trust me, once she finds someone else better than you (that is b/f material in her eyes, not that your not good enough) she will do the same hurtfull things to you again.

Leesa H
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:01 pm Post subject:

It's insecurity. If you still want to be friends than let go of all this stuff that has happened in the past. But keep in mind, you may have been so close to her before because you were building feelings for her. Now that everything has changed you may not ever be able to be close like that again. If you can't work things out with your relationship, I'd just cut her loose. It's not worth having all that stress around someone who didn't treat you well.

Rebecca
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:01 pm Post subject:

She's probably the type of girl who wants boys to gravel at her feet. She doesn't want to see commited, or act as if she cares for you. She probably thought it was really creepy when you asked her out, so she became cold hearted towards you as a way to try and ease the flame you had for her. When she lost her boyfriend she probably started remember you and ho much fun you too had together. Keeping in mind you had liked her at one point she thinks that you could never stop liking her and that she can just push you away and take you back whenever. If you plan on keeping a friendship with her you might want to just ignore the cold patch you guys went to.because if it was me and you confronted me i'd probably deny it or get mad that you'd even say that and blow it out of proportion.

Christopher Z
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:03 pm Post subject:

Totally agree with you bro. It seems that she is very self centered. You went out of your way to be a good friend and she took it for granted. You don't owe her any explanations. She should get off her high horse and ask herself what did she do wrong. She owes you big time, not you.

knightrider
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:03 pm Post subject:

she's alone now and probably wants u now. i wouldn't take her for ignoring u. she should have been a better friend.

amanda_dedebant
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject:

Maybe she just didn't realize what she could have had. You could explain what happened, but not in a mean way. Maybe then she'll understand, and you may even end up with her. (:

JaneyRoxUrSox!
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject:

She probably misses the attention...and when she got a bf it was wrong of her 2 totally ignore youAnd when she said i don't wana ruin our friendship~~the only reason i would say that is if i rlly do like him as a friend and i kno he likes me more but i don't want him to ~just be friends and have fun hanging out maybe she'll end up likeing u. who knos...we like what we can't have....good luck

shortie rock
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject:

you neva miss something until its gone.it sounds like she wants you because she had a long time to think about y'll situation and she realize you was the one all along.she messed up and she wants you. karma is a trip

Roza K
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject:

Ask her why she acted up and now that her boyfriend is gone, she wants you back? And then the best bit, tell her she hurt you too much and that you wouldnt trust her again (if a boyfriend comes along, she will do the same thing, so those kind of girls CANNOT be trusted) and say too much has happened since so it can never be the same!I dnt think this can be fixed, because the problem is no you, or your friendship, its her. Its in her personality/brain so you can never know! What i she does it again? Move on!You sound like great guy, and there are plenty of girls who are secure and confident enough to have a descent relationship with!Best of luck!

Tashandra P
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:11 pm Post subject:

She’s only acting this way because the boyfriend she was head over heals for is now out of the picture. She didn't realize what she had with you until it was too late. That why no matter how you feel about a person on a relationship level, if it’s someone you’ve been cool with for years and have had a history of feelings with, you never turn your back on those people for someone new. Because he/she was there before the boy/girlfriend, and he/she will be there when they’re gone. Now, she want to get back into your good graces, but she’s frustrated because she realized she fcked up by ignoring the one guy that she let get away being stupid. I bet if you talk to her about her relationship with that guy, you’ll get the big picture as to why she wants you in her life again. People never realize what they’ve got until its gone.

autobot032
Yahoo User

Posted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject:

She's a manipulative, cold hearted, selfish b*tch. Simple as that.She cast you aside like yesterday's trash, and got a new boyfriend.The boyfriend left her (for obvious reasons) and you came back and you weren't her puppet anymore. So she was not only upset about that fact, she was insulted that someone like her could be forgotten by someone like you. (when in actuality, you're the one with the sane head on your shoulders, she's a whack job with a narcissism complex.)Tell her in no uncertain terms that she made it abundantly clear that she didn't care for you when you were here, that she didn't care for you when you weren't here, and she's wasting her time caring for you now because you know it's all a sham and she'll change her mind as soon as the next guy comes along.You probably won't have the guts to do it (I've been in your shoes before) but I surely hope you'd find the courage to do so. The both of you need it. She needs a reality check and you need to get this frustration out of your system. The more you deny her, the better you'll feel and guess what? You're not doing it to be petty, but because you have legitimate reasons for doing so.You can do one of two things:1.) Ignore her emails completely.2.) Email her and tell her like it is and that you're not interested and you'd like her to stop bothering you (and make it abundantly clear that you're blocking her emails as well, or she'll guilt you and it'll just go round and round and round.)You know that number two is the better choice. Take it if you've got the courage.

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