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Registry, In-Laws, Bridesmaids... Help!?


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A C
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: Registry, In-Laws, Bridesmaids... Help!?

1. Is it okay if our wedding registry gifts average out to be between $30 and $100 per item?? What is the normal price range to stay in when making a registry??2. My future in-laws are not helping us out with ANY wedding related costs - none at ALL. What should I do? What should I expect of them in the first place??3. My 3 female cousins are going to be my bridesmaids. How do I pick who should be my maid of honor, when I know them all equally well? Do I NEED a maid of honor??Thanks!!

Jess
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:16 pm Post subject:

1. That seems like a good price range. Make sure to have plenty of gifts at each level that guests can buy- there's nothing worse that going to buy a gift and everything has already been taken off the registry that was in your price range!!2. The groom's parents traditionally don't pay anything for the wedding. Now days I think most would offer to contribute something, but it's not expected. I wouldn't ask them though. If you really must bring it up get your fiance to do it (although I think it would be a bit rude to- after all, it's your wedding any money you get from anyone- your parents or his- shouldn't be just expected).3. It's ok not to have a maid of honor. Just have bridesmaids. The maid of honor usually walks with the best man so you might want to avoid this problem by not having a best man either and just groomsmen.

Helping
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject:

You are right on the money for the registry. Most people will spend between $35 and $50 for a gift and the folks who know you best will spend more.As for what your future in-laws are required to pay for: Only the rehearsal dinner. The rest is up to the bride or groom and/or the brides parents. I would budget accordingly.Yes you need a maid of honor. This person is the one who holds your bouquet during the ceremony and his ring until you need it. She will (or should) be the one you would depend on most (besides your Mom) for help and advice. Choose keeping these facts in mind.As for other helps -- for your invitations check out Rexcraft.comTheknot.com has some great tips too!Congratulations and good luck.....

Mrs H
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject:

1. That sounds ok... you want a variety of different priced gifts since not everyone can afford the same things... but that price range sounds fine.2. My parents in law didn't help out as much as my family, but we made with what we had. You can't expect anything from them - anything anyone does for you is a bonus, not an expected action. You could always ask if they can help out more with physical stuff (making things, setting things up, etc) if they can't support the wedding financially. (My MIL made out wedding cake for us which turned out beautifully)3. I didn't have a maid of honour... though one of my bridesmaids did a lot more work than the other - so I sort of 'rewarded' her afterwards with extra gifts and thanks - no need to chose one. (If you really feel you have to have one, try one that is married or has been involved in a wedding - since they will know more about what needs to be done)

Rozzy
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:25 pm Post subject:

1. between $30 to $50 is what the average person will spend when you take into account that they usually spend hundreds of $100's on new outfits to wear to the wedding!2. Traditionally the in-laws aren't supposed to pay for anything but this is 2008....they should atleast be asked to chip in for drinnks or food! Personally my husband and I paid for our own wedding because we didn't want to burden our families with paying for something that was OUR decision!3.They can all just be brides-maids. But to choose the Maid of honour there used to be the rule that it was oldest female (and if they're all the same age then the oldest Married Female!)Personally I think if you have to choose pick the one whos more reliable and likely to be more helpful.Good luck!

Christina C
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:26 pm Post subject:

1. that sounds perfect to me2. no clue on this subject sorry3. i dont think you need a maid of honor either have 3 bridesmaids or 3 maids or matrons of honor it doesnt matter theres not THAT much of a difference at least not at my cousins wedding there were no maid of honor/best man speaches or anything like that

kittywink
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:30 pm Post subject:

while my 2 adult children got married, in both instances we met the future in-laws for a meal in a restaurant and discussed the who does what. Have a wedding magazine or an etiquette book to back you up on who pays what. If they can't afford to help they can't help. You may have to have a simple wedding or a cookout for a rehearsal dinner which is fun. In my area registery gifts are $20 and up, up, up. You do not have to have a maid of honor, but one will need to hold the bouquet for a while. Maybe line them up tallest to shortest and the closest one standing by you can do the bouquet. The other 2 can fix your train and veil. Or even sweeter your Mom could step up and get your bouquet, sit down, and hand it back to you at the proper time.

sden2616
Yahoo User

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 11:57 pm Post subject:

1. the price range seems good, you could even go a little more expensive, some people may want to go in as a group and get you a larger gift. 2. Traditionally the grooms family pays for the rehersal dinner and the bridal bouquets and the boutineers. But, times have changed, and weddings are alot more expensive then they used to be and some people just don't have the money to contribute to their children's wedding. I would say don't EXPECT anything from them, any thing they are able to contribute is a nice added bonus. 3. You don't really need a maid of honor, you just need someone to be a witness and sign for you, any one of the 3 can do that.

Dianna
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:05 am Post subject:

The price range seems fine. I am going to include several items a little cheaper than 30 bucks, such as a spatula, picture frames, towels, rugs, etc. I'm registered at Target and at Elder Beerman, so people who don't want to spend a lot can go to Target, people who want to spend more can go to the department store. I would recommend adding a few higher priced items to your registery as well, actually. A lot of people like to go in for things such as a stereo system, nice set of pots and pans, etc. Your future-in-laws don't have to do anything. It was you and your future husband that decided to get married. It would be nice of them to help out. You need to talk to them and actually ask them if they are willing to contribute to any of the costs. Money talks are uncomfortable, but they have to be done. My future in-laws are paying for the rehearsal dinner and arranging that, which is typical.I am having three cousins as bridesmaids as well! I'm also having a few friends though and one of them is going to be my Matron of Honor. I'm also having a Maid of Honor because my Matron is (hopefully) going to be five to six months pregnant at the time of the wedding and I want them to be able to be a team and help each other out. I don't want to put extra stress on an expectant mother! You do not have to designate any of them to be the Maid of Honor, although people will probably ask. Ask them if any of them want to do it and tell them you need special help from them, or ask the one that is the most responsible, most sound, doesn't have a crazy schedule, etc. Or, heck, make them all three be Maid of Honor. It depends on their age. My cousins are all under 18 and my Matron and Maid are both in their twenties.

Aramat16
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:35 am Post subject:

1) Usually the guests should pay the price of their plate. My plate it 125$ a pop. I am ranging gifts from 50 to 200 dollars. 2) My in-laws OR parents aren't helping. Recently its become the responsibility of the bride/groom. Make sure you guys have a budget and stick to it.3) Pick the oldest and tell them that is the reason. You should have the maid of honor for the speech. Of you can have the matron of honor give the speech and the rest can be bridesmaids.

MelB
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:38 am Post subject:

1) Your price range is fine. 2) Never expect anyone to come out of the pocket in this day and age. Most of my friends got little or no help from the parents, we will not get any and we know it. It is a big bonus if they do help, but do not expect it. Also, if they are not helping, then their opinions are just that...opinions, they have no say in your planning or decisions. That could be a large blessing. 3) You do not have to have a maid of honor. Just have the maids. Simple as that. When it comes to showers and stuff they can work it out. Good luck.

wispa
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 2:57 am Post subject:

hi therefirstly congrats... my wedding was the same my inlaws agreed to make a cake as they used to do it at some point in the past... guys parents traditionally pay for cars and flowers i believe but nowadays its usually split a bit more fairly if they can afford it.. My inlaws even asked my mum to pay £30 for the breadcakes!!!(she catered) You can put whatever you want on the list i would suggest you include an option for donations towards particular gifts just so no one feels aqward if they are a bit hard up they can give you cash etc....I had 2 maids of honour i said they could both be or they could choose between themselves.. they can have 2/3 best men then so can we just tell them to agree whos signing the register before hand..for wedding stuff check outwww.freewebs.com/aristosnaps

lalala
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:28 am Post subject:

1. Yes, that is fine. You can go a little cheaper or a little more (sometimes different people will chip in for a bigger gift) My fiance and I had things ranging from $3 to $300.2. They are not required to help you, so no you should not expect anything.3. You don't need a MOHEdit: I see some suggestions saying ask the in-laws if they are contributing. Do not do that, it is considered very rude.

nova_queen_28
Yahoo User

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:20 am Post subject:

1. Your range seems great. You may actually want to add a few more expensive items. You want to give your guests options in price for things you would like or need.2. You don't do anything. You shouldn't EXPECT anyone but you & your fiance to foot the bill for your wedding and related expenses. If someone offers, you graciously accept. Don't ever expect - you will only be disappointed and/or frustrated.3. You don't need a MOH. If one doesn't jump out, keep them all as BMs

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