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Preggers
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:39 am Post subject: What do you think of this...odd relative sets terms for wedding/pregnancy gift? |
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| We are getting married and having a baby so family is more than happy to help us out. My fiance's step grandfather who he has never been close with called me and offered to buy me something expensive. He said is there anything I can get you for the wedding that is expensive? First of all, I was like umm, uh. I dont like having people just buy me things worth hundreds of dollars. I feel bad and have always grown up earning what I have. This kind of surprised me. I said well there are a few things on my registry for a little of over $100. He said no, I mean like $750. Im like ummm...ok. I talked to my fiance and we would be more than thankful to have extra money to add to our savings. With the baby coming there will be a lot of extra expenses. I said I could even use that money to pay a month of daycare or part of rent. But he said no. He is going to bring us to a store and have us spend the money. I dont mean to sound ungrateful or anything but isnt this strange? |
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Marcus.Is.Due.In.18.Weeks
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:45 am Post subject: |
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| It does sound strang but he's just trying his best to help. With the $750 you can start getting baby furniture. So I would go for it. If he's offering then go for it, I mean that helps alot! |
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Prego Again!!!
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:45 am Post subject: |
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| Most import. You need to be happy! If someone wants to help you out, Please let them!!! Make sure they know that you are really really thankful!! |
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bizzurke
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:45 am Post subject: |
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| just spend the money after your shower....that way you will know what you still need to buy for yourself and the save the money you wouldve spent on that stuff! |
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Jenine
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:47 am Post subject: |
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| maybe he wants to put it on his credit card & doesn't have the cash...? |
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deinna m
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:48 am Post subject: |
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| I think he is just really excited for both of you. Instead of giving you money which will be used for living expenses, he wants you to have a little luxury.He knows how much you are going to have to cut back on now that there is a baby on the way. He is just being generous. Enjoy.Get your baby's nursery stuff or some nice things for your home. This is not a gift horse to look in the mouth right now.I would have loved to have had such a generous relative when we got married and had a baby.Congrats!!! |
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ProudMumof2
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:49 am Post subject: |
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| Wow! he sounds like a really generous man! and I would take him up on his offer, trust me, baby's are quite expensive and as you are just starting out you should except all the help from your relatives that gets offered to you (as long as you get along with them ok!)Don't feel bad about excepting such a generous gift, just be gracious and enjoy spending it!Good luck |
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Julie
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:49 am Post subject: |
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| I think he is just wanting you to have something that maybe you wouldn't get if he just gave you money. He wants it to be a gift, not rent. He wants to spoil you and give you something really nice. Let him do it his way and just be grateful for the abundance he is giving you. I also think he wants to share this experience with you and see how happy it makes you. Congratulations on both the big events in you life that are coming up. Good luck. |
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Due May 17th with #1!
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:49 am Post subject: |
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| Seems very odd, but hey, why not take him up on his offer?Maybe some new furniture?? |
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Megs
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:50 am Post subject: |
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| You said that your fiance has never been close with him right? Well, maybe this his the step-grandfather's way of trying to get closer to you. That is a common occurrence when a life changing event (or two) is about to happen. Maybe he does not know any other way to express his feelings and this is how he is going about showing that he cares. Odd, I realize, and hard to accept, even if you are grateful, but maybe you should accept his gift and try to get to know him better in return. If you are uncomfortable with that sum of money maybe you can bargain for something less expensive that would please ALL of you. :-)Hope that helps. |
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Me
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:50 am Post subject: |
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| He probably wants to give you a big gift that will be remembered instead of going toward rent. I don't think that's too weird. |
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David T
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:51 am Post subject: |
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| I agree with Marcus. The step-grandfather wants to probably make emends for something from his past, but if he really wants to help out, I'd go for the baby furniture and even some of the things the baby will need, like a bath tub, diapers, wash clothes, towel, blankets, etc.As a father of four I know it gets expensive fast, so every little bit helps. But remember this. It isn't the amount he wants to spend, but the fact he wants to do something nice for the two of you and your baby. |
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Kelli S
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 8:52 am Post subject: |
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| It probably feels strange, but I've had a similar experience. I would say that the grandfather just wants to know he's contributed something specific and meaningful that you might remember him by - money that goes into savings, while helpful, doesn't carry quite the memories (at least in the mind of the giver). I'm with you - money in savings sounds great, but if he's determined to buy you a large gift, you may as well enjoy it! |
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AshaLeeD
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 9:03 am Post subject: |
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| About the amount, often as people get older they start to think about their mortality and they realise they 'can't take it with them', not that you really want to think about that, but it could be why its such a large amount! also, he probably just wants to help out but would also maybe like to spend a day shopping with you and hubby? Also, I have an aunt who refuses to give money because she likes to know exactly what her money went to. I would make sure you say a big thank you, maybe do a special picture/frame for him and depending on how you feel about it, you could always tailor a small portion of the wedding towards him (ie, if you're not already offering it, maybe add his favorite drink to the bar menu, or dessert to the food menu...or something like that.). No one else really has to know that its FOR him, but he will, and it will probably make him feel really special : ) congrats on the wedding and baby : ) |
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