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What do you think of my poem, P&S people?

 
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Baby Cobra's on the Prowl
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:36 pm    Post subject: What do you think of my poem, P&S people? Reply with quote

Poetry Hides for Me…-In the chirp of the crickets on a warm, summer night.-In the wet licks and nudges from my dog Einstein.-In the crinkle of the wrapper as I open my first Christmas gift.-In the first slurp of my creamy, delicious BK Mocha Joe drink.-In the ring of the bell, signaling an end to a slow, painful day at school.-In the vivid red “A” that gets stamped onto my test.-In the eccentric beat to the song “What Is Love.”-In the shiny, plastic trophies I receive after winning a long, vigorous softball tournament.-In the laughter and exciting moments on those fun Poker night with my friends.-In the slap of the glove against my leg as I pitch another strike.-In the warmth of the sun against my fair skin.-In the numerous inside jokes my friend Laura and I share.-In the blanket pulled ever so closely to my face, protecting me from the thrills of the scary movie.-In the witty, yet slightly annoying, remarks my brother usually exclaims.-In the radiant glow of a sunset.I asked this Question initially in the Poetry part of Yahoo Answerers, but I got no response.So, maybe you could help me out.I did this for a school project..and let me just say, i stink at poetry.So just give your honest opinions about it.Thank you!ooh jk. I did get some response from Poetry secton. its this section that I didnt get much response in.lol but thats ok! =]
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BREEZY™
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ok
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phatso
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't like all those "in the" it ruins the rhythm of the poem. try revising without using them but other than that it was alright.
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Cousin Chopstiks
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I LUV IT!
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Lil Miss Eye for an Eye
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't change a thing. It's great.
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Robbie AKA DJ Rabioso
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I loved itA+++ from meeeee =]
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Alex
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's coolio!!!
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Eric S
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's pretty good. You put in your own style. The rhythm begins to wander, but other than that I thought it was really good. Excellent use of words. You should consider doing this as a profession.
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SurferBoy
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

its good how do u like my poem?love lostcan always be foundbut love thrown away can never befound again so hold dearto love
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Sarra .
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's good. Kind of funny too =)
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Crisp P. Bacon
Yahoo User





PostPosted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i think its good, i cant do poetry for sh!t so i spose anyones better than me. i hate it when they ask you to write a poem for school cause i seriously cant do it
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