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What do you think of my poem, P&S people?

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Author Message Baby Cobra's on the Prowl Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:36 pm    Post subject: What do you think of my poem, P&S people? Poetry Hides for Me…-In the chirp of the crickets on a warm, summer night.-In the wet licks and nudges from my dog Einstein.-In the crinkle of the wrapper as I open my first Christmas gift.-In the first slurp of my creamy, delicious BK Mocha Joe drink.-In the ring of the bell, signaling an end to a slow, painful day at school.-In the vivid red “A” that gets stamped onto my test.-In the eccentric beat to the song “What Is Love.”-In the shiny, plastic trophies I receive after winning a long, vigorous softball tournament.-In the laughter and exciting moments on those fun Poker night with my friends.-In the slap of the glove against my leg as I pitch another strike.-In the warmth of the sun against my fair skin.-In the numerous inside jokes my friend Laura and I share.-In the blanket pulled ever so closely to my face, protecting me from the thrills of the scary movie.-In the witty, yet slightly annoying, remarks my brother usually exclaims.-In the radiant glow of a sunset.I asked this Question initially in the Poetry part of Yahoo Answerers, but I got no response.So, maybe you could help me out.I did this for a school project..and let me just say, i stink at poetry.So just give your honest opinions about it.Thank you!ooh jk. I did get some response from Poetry secton. its this section that I didnt get much response in.lol but thats ok! =] Back to top BREEZY™ Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:39 pm    Post subject: ok Back to top phatso Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 1:43 pm    Post subject: I didn't like all those "in the" it ruins the rhythm of the poem. try revising without using them but other than that it was alright. Back to top Cousin Chopstiks Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:14 pm    Post subject: I LUV IT! Back to top Lil Miss Eye for an Eye Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:15 pm    Post subject: I wouldn't change a thing. It's great. Back to top Robbie AKA DJ Rabioso Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:18 pm    Post subject: I loved itA+++ from meeeee =] Back to top Alex Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:49 pm    Post subject: It's coolio!!! Back to top Eric S Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 2:56 pm    Post subject: It's pretty good. You put in your own style. The rhythm begins to wander, but other than that I thought it was really good. Excellent use of words. You should consider doing this as a profession. Back to top SurferBoy Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:36 pm    Post subject: its good how do u like my poem?love lostcan always be foundbut love thrown away can never befound again so hold dearto love Back to top Sarra . Yahoo User Posted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 4:45 pm    Post subject: It's good. Kind of funny too =) Back to top Crisp P. Bacon Yahoo User Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:42 am    Post subject: i think its good, i cant do poetry for sh!t so i spose anyones better than me. i hate it when they ask you to write a poem for school cause i seriously cant do it Back to top

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