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resq-girl
Yahoo User
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 Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:35 am Post subject: Does a husband usually give his wife a Mother's Day gift if she is a mother? |
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| My husband and I just had our first child in Feb. He didn't even pick me a flower from the backyard. He says he will take his mother and I out to dinner tonight (he was out of town on Mother's Day). Is it okay for him to take us both out or should it be just my husband, myself and our daughter. I was hoping for the latter. What will happen is his mom and dad will come and his dad will pay, as usual when we go out to dinner with them. But this is supposed to be a gift from my husband. Even worse, he will let his dad pay. I don't even think his dad should go. By the way, my husband is 38 years old! Oh and also, we have been together for 3 years and he never got me anything for Valentines day and he didn't do anything for me for our first anniversary which was in May. I did something for him on every one of those occasions. So, I know there will be alot of judging going on with responses I get...grrrrr, but, I'm really just curious about this Mother's Day deal. Thanks for letting me vent.I'm not materialistic in any way. I am just a giver myself and want to know that the other person cares as much as I do. Just a home made card would make me so happy or a flower from the back yard. I don't need anything with a monetary value. I just want him to show he cares. He knows how I feel too. |
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trueeee the Crazy Dominic
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:41 am Post subject: |
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| Mother's Day is to celebrate the important mothers in your life.For a man, those mothers should be his own and the mother of his children and any other mother he finds important.Any man that says "its not wife's day" is an asshole that needs to learn appreciation.Anyway that you celebrate mother's day is special as long as you are with the people you love. If that means eating with the whole family then be appreciative of that. |
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croftplayer30
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:41 am Post subject: |
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| ok the mother of your child would be on the list of mothers to buy gifts or treat to dinner for that day along side his real mother. his father paying does not make much sense but to split the bill with dad does because his wife is the mother of his children correct? |
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anastasia
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:42 am Post subject: |
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| When the baby is too young to actually give you a gift of her own your husband should do it. (even though you're not his mother).Once the baby gets older the husband should help her pick out something or make something for you.He sounds kind of thoughtless and self centered. |
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Babycat
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:43 am Post subject: |
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| I hate it when men are like that - it causes alot of hurt feelings. And you are right - just a little flower from the back yard would let you know that he cares. You have to talk to him about it and teach him how to be more thoughtful. Sometimes they just don't get it. I hope it works and remember - when your baby grows up - they will be the one to think of you on your special days! |
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C-DOGG
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:43 am Post subject: |
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| YES he does. He should appreciate what she does for his children! |
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True Enough
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:45 am Post subject: |
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| He may have been raised differently. He won't know you are dissapointed unless you tell him, but don't tell him in an angry way. Like I said, he is probably not raised that way and needs you to tell him how you like to be shown love (even though you think he should already know.) From your description, it sounds like his dad doesn't give his mom gifts, which is why he is compelled to take her to dinner and pay for it. It's generational. You must communicate and set different standards for your family if you like. |
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trouble_sum81
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:46 am Post subject: |
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| After 3 years, why are you complaining? You married him. Not every guy is gift savvy. For mothers day, you are expecting too much. We all go out aunts uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, etc. I am a new mom also and I never thought that I deserved to have the whole day to myself. HE has a mother too. Things will never change for you unless you express to him that you are superficial and the only way he can prove his love is by buying you things. |
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Hazle
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:46 am Post subject: |
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| He sounds cheap. He has to grow up and stop letting daddy pay for things. He needs to take responsibility. I would say teach him that it matters and that things like this cant be blown off. You as a couple need to do couple things as well as a family. |
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Jimmy's Wife
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:48 am Post subject: |
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| Sounds like you got a husband that doesn't show much emotion through gift giving & romance. Not every man remember, appreciate or enjoy those things. Maybe he doesn't even think of giving gifts/flowers to show that he love you. In his mind, he shows his love by working hard to provide for the family. Love him for him, not the gifts he gives (or should give you).Happy belated mother's day. Enjoy your dinner, regardless of who comes. |
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hotbutter
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:49 am Post subject: |
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| it should be celebrated separately.if he never gave you any gifts for other occasions, chances are, he will not do so now. tell him how you feel. |
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SAFFIRE
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:50 am Post subject: |
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| I'm in the same boat as you are!!! My husband sent flowers to his Mother and Grandmother! He told me that I wasn't his mother!We are not speaking!! |
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Louise C
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:50 am Post subject: |
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| Well, she is is mother, so I would say it is nice that he wants to do something for her on Mother's Day, if it wasn't for the fact that his father will be paying. If it is for Mother's day your husband should really be paying. Your baby is really too young to get you anything for Mother's Day. When she is old enough she will probably want to give you something. My husband usually takes the boys out to buy me something like flowers or something, and no.3 son gave me a lovely hand-made card this year.However, it sounds like your husband is not really into giving presents. Not all men care for this, but I am concerned that he is not paying for mother's day dinner for his mother even. It sounds to me like he is rather tight. if I were you, I would stop getting him presents if he doesn't get you any. Either he just doesn't care for present-giving, or he is just stingy, and either way it would probably be better if you didn't give him things. |
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Silkywater
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:55 am Post subject: |
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| Mother's Day is even you ever in labor that day you are a mother.However he can still make it to you becuz Mother's day is an everyday all year event.Tell me this do you live off the title of being a mother or the fact you have a child?Either way the fact you have a child means to me you have some experiences than most mothers who just lay there to have kids then roam the streets like they ain't got no care in the world.I salute you as a mother & continue being good mother no matter what...Ask him why is he treating you like shyt when you is showing him the upmost respect by showing ya love & affection to him when he is not doing none in return.I mean before ya met he had to romantic so happen?Let him know how you feel about that & tell him to step his game up or else someone is gonna go.Don't let him get you with that no man don't want a woman with a kid trust me women with kids is a turn on to good men such as myself so don't let him come at you with that mess.You're a strong,beautiful,loving woman that do whatever it takes to keep ya home running with or without him.The choice is in his hands point blank...P.S One man's trash becomes another man's treasure!!! |
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Lovely
Yahoo User
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:59 am Post subject: |
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| I do think that you deserve a lil something on each on everyone of those holidays that you mentioned and no it doesn't have to be anything expensive just something so he makes it evident that he thought of you. I think you should make him aware of this being a problem to you. About the dinner situation I personally would like to go to dinner just me and the children with my husband, and then have another with his mother and father and wife and children. |
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